Crime and Pun-Ishment

AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Kenneth (by Carmen), Kenny (by other VILE agents), Crackpot Kenny, The Anti-Player, Contestant #3
Color #
A9A9A9
Since everyone in the chat enjoys puns so much, I decided to make them the subject of my new guessing games. Each of these very elaborate jokes ends in a one or two-word pun. Read out the text carefully, and then try to guess what the pun-ch line is.

Okay here goes:

A family who is very poor is looking to re-stock their mostly desecrated cattle ranch. They reason they could have a full set of cattle again if they were to buy a bull. So they scrape together a small amount of cash and find that they have enough to buy one bull and have an extra dollar to ride the taxi one way to the market. They instruct grandma to be the lone person to take the taxi, buy the bull, and then wait for the family to being the cart to take the bull home. Grandma rides the taxi. The fair is 90 cents. She gets out and buys the bull, but then she realizes that she needs a way to get a message back to the ranch to let them know to come with the cart. She looks across the street, where there's a telegram office. She walks into the telegram office, and tries to send a telegram, but the mailer tells her that with ten cents she is only allowed to send one word. She writes the word, gives it to the mailer, and he asks grandma "Are you sure this is what you want to send?" She replies, "Sure, they're slow readers."

What is the one word grandma used?
 
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Kenneth (by Carmen), Kenny (by other VILE agents), Crackpot Kenny, The Anti-Player, Contestant #3
Color #
A9A9A9
Okay, here's the next one:

Man is driving on a dirt road next to the desert, he sees a large lever in the sand. He goes down and he's seconds from pulling it, when a snake pops out and shouts "Don't touch that!" The man is clearly surprised to hear a talking snake, and he tries to spark up a conversation. He learns that the snake's name is Nate and if anyone pulls the lever the world would come to an end, so he was put there to protect it. So the man and Nate make friends, but just as suddenly, another car comes careening down the desert towards the lever! Nate leaps immediately towards the buggy, and ends up tangling himself in the axles. Nate the Snake is clearly dead, but the car came only inches from the lever.

The moral of the story?
 

Latest posts

Latest threads

New Journals

Neutral Grounds
Help Users
  • No one is chatting at the moment.
  • Invader Invader:
    may we put some glitter on you so you can really sparkle?
    Quote Link
  • Lucy Lucy:
    sure. Trying to find some more songs.
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    *Puts a glittery sweater on you*
    Quote Link
  • Lucy Lucy:
    *song ends and another comes on* "Hey Lucy, I remember your name I left a dozen roses on your grave today Im in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away I just came to talk for a while I got some things I need to say Chorus Now that its over I just wanna hold her Id give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me Now that its over I just wanna hold her Ive gotta live with the choices i made And I cant live with myself today V2 Hey Lucy, I remembered your birthday They said itd bring some closure to say your name I know Id do it all different if I had the chance But all I got are these roses to give And they cant help me make amends "
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    (What is that from)
    Quote Link
  • Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    Hi *Hugs*
    Quote Link
  • Deric Storm Deric Storm:
    the hughes parody was entertaining but I do have to say I'm tired of the fanbase slandering Sansa
    +2
    Quote Link
  • Chase Chase:
    Team, there’s another Carmen google earth game... started back on May 15, so says my notifications.
    +1
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    Chase said:
    Team, there’s another Carmen google earth game... started back on May 15, so says my notifications.
    I'll try to contain my excitement.
    +1
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    It does exist.... really now....
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    (I honestly wish we had another good Carmen game in the works)
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    oh, hard same @Invader
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    (I did like secret of the stolen drums it was fun, just wish it was a bit longer)
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    (Also wish there was a second one, still ticked at some of the later pc games that Carmen never even stared in)
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    adventures in math was... okay, but way too repetitive imo
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    mystere au bout du monde was a mess
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    stolen drums was good for what it was, though it was basically tomb raider junior (WHEN will barbie: explorer?!)
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    treasures of knowledge was good, and i wish we'd gotten a true sequel to that, since neither stolen drums nor bout du monde quite fulfilled that
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    i've never played pc carmen sandiego returns, but the ios one was okay
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    ( I will say there were some good ones, and a lot of misses, i dont have my hopes up for future ones at this points)
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    agreed. but we can dream...
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    (How was your day, I am happy to see it you it has been quiet here, and making me a bit lonely)
    Quote Link
  • Jacqueline Hyde Jacqueline Hyde:
    busy. which feels good, really.
    Quote Link
  • Invader Invader:
    (i work though Saturday, will be away Sunday happy memorial day weekend and I am working)
    Quote Link
    Invader Invader: (i work though Saturday, will be away Sunday happy memorial day weekend and I am working)
    Top