I am sad to hear the situation with your Grandma. I hope you don’t feel too upset, which is weird to say of course we feel bad when our loved ones get sick or pass away. But our friends and family would like us to feel better more often than we feel sad.
We can’t control our feelings sometimes and feeling bad can be helpful. You remember the good times and the bad and only family can truly understand how it feels to lose one of their own. So I hope you experience all of your feelings honestly and in a way that ends up helping you move on in the best way possible.