Crime and Pun-Ishment

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findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Kenneth (by Carmen), Kenny (by other VILE agents), Crackpot Kenny, The Anti-Player, Contestant #3
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A9A9A9
Since everyone in the chat enjoys puns so much, I decided to make them the subject of my new guessing games. Each of these very elaborate jokes ends in a one or two-word pun. Read out the text carefully, and then try to guess what the pun-ch line is.

Okay here goes:

A family who is very poor is looking to re-stock their mostly desecrated cattle ranch. They reason they could have a full set of cattle again if they were to buy a bull. So they scrape together a small amount of cash and find that they have enough to buy one bull and have an extra dollar to ride the taxi one way to the market. They instruct grandma to be the lone person to take the taxi, buy the bull, and then wait for the family to being the cart to take the bull home. Grandma rides the taxi. The fair is 90 cents. She gets out and buys the bull, but then she realizes that she needs a way to get a message back to the ranch to let them know to come with the cart. She looks across the street, where there's a telegram office. She walks into the telegram office, and tries to send a telegram, but the mailer tells her that with ten cents she is only allowed to send one word. She writes the word, gives it to the mailer, and he asks grandma "Are you sure this is what you want to send?" She replies, "Sure, they're slow readers."

What is the one word grandma used?
 
Best answers
0
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Kenneth (by Carmen), Kenny (by other VILE agents), Crackpot Kenny, The Anti-Player, Contestant #3
Color #
A9A9A9
Okay, here's the next one:

Man is driving on a dirt road next to the desert, he sees a large lever in the sand. He goes down and he's seconds from pulling it, when a snake pops out and shouts "Don't touch that!" The man is clearly surprised to hear a talking snake, and he tries to spark up a conversation. He learns that the snake's name is Nate and if anyone pulls the lever the world would come to an end, so he was put there to protect it. So the man and Nate make friends, but just as suddenly, another car comes careening down the desert towards the lever! Nate leaps immediately towards the buggy, and ends up tangling himself in the axles. Nate the Snake is clearly dead, but the car came only inches from the lever.

The moral of the story?
 

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    [continuing] I don't have the time to be here a whole lot, I don't have much beyond mom to help with my rent (and once I have a job, that'll take up more time, though I will keep working on stuff (both for here and not) as often as possible, and post when possible on here. I have a question that needs some clarification... being that we are supposed to get permission from the person if we use their character in an addition/story/post, how would that apply if the character is core to the universe (like Carmen... I can replace @Chase, maybe cobble someone into @Ivy's place... but, like @Carmen, being that she's a major character, as long as I don't have her acting or write a major part for her, would that circumvent the rule at all?
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    [continuing] I'm just curious... the absence of the major's leaves a gap that I'm not sure what to do with anything... we (the Left Behind) could do a story together (or some stories separate), and that'd be cool, but without being able to use any major's, I'm not sure where to take anything. And, yeah... you can probably guess what my typing is like here (or anyplace else)... I type here or in Word, I type something (or notepad), and 15-20+ seconds later it shows up, so I have to stay on top of my grammar and spelling. I have to keep on top of all that, because I'm working on the big Carmen story at the same time, so I can't slip off my game.))
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    @Jon Eckart Not exactly sure if I understand all your computer probs. I hope you get those resolved soon. Yes, I have many probs with my basic Google Chrome, too. I think it's fair to say we all have a love/hate relationship with technology. 😆 As far as your stories are concerned, you can use any cannon character you like, whether there is a person playing that role on here or not. Say the story is a fanfiction; and that the version of Chase, or Carmen (or whoever) from the computer games, gameshow (or whatever). We don't do Netflix Carmen, mostly because of the violence. And because it is fanfiction, you can also create other characters and situations to suit your story. Now, Chase, Carme, Ivy (or whoever) were here, of course, you would ask their permission; tell them your idea; and if they like it they might write it with you. 🙂
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    @Jon Eckart Now, if you for a friendship with someone on--and off-site, you might form a partnership with them, and write stories together (like Chase and Carmen; or Chase and Ivy; or Lucy and I) and then you will just put a statement saying that this story is a co-write with whoever. In fact, if you collaborate with this person a lot, people will just assume they have your permission; although you should always say it anyway, just as a common courtesy. In fact, ironically, the only people whose permission you must always ask to use their characters are "original" characters, who are creations of their individual writers (which most of us on here, are) specifically because we are not cannon. I hope that makes sense. 🙂
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    @Jon Eckart Now, if you want to write something, but don't have a lot of time, I would suggest posting a status; or replying to someone else's status. Or you could start a guessing game. Look under Forums/Guessing Games, and look at some things other people have done, to give you ideas. I hope that helps. 🙂
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