Coffee, Chaos, and Questions, Part Two
Disclaimer: Same as before…
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The Pit, Headquarters Building Lounge
Roadblock, Beach Head, Conrad, and Kate
21 February 2002, 1158
“Well, the kid should be calmed down by now,” Roadblock began as he waited in the lounge.
“If he’s still alive,” Beach Head smirked, “The Sarge will run that little punk into the ground! He’ll be lucky if he has any strength to crawl back!”
“Wonder who’s winning the bet?” Conrad ventured only to have Kate elbow him in the ribs.
Just as Conrad spoke Todd hopped happily into the lounge before saying, “Wow! I just had the best time! Mountain climbing sure is fun? Eh Sarge? Sarge? Sarge? Come on Sarge! Get the lead out!”
Roadblock, Conrad, Kate, and Beach Head turned to see Sergeant Slaughter, the toughest Drill Sergeant who ever lived, stagger into the lounge. After he dropped his backpack he groaned, “Help me.”
Then he collapsed onto the couch. For what felt like hour-long minutes no one spoke until Beach Head managed to collect his thoughts, “Sarge, what did he do to you?”
“We went up the mountain and then back down. Then he wanted to race up the mountain. So I said why not? That was the biggest mistake of my life!”
“I won the race!” Todd beamed.
“How did he win with a twenty pound backpack on?” Beach Head asked.
“You know those old cartoons where the skunk bounces happily all over the place without a care in the world?” Sergeant Slaughter replied.
“Vividly,” Kate replied.
“Just picture the skunk jumping something like forty-something feet and that’s pretty much what that was like,” Sergeant Slaughter replied.
“No way,” Kate replied.
“Do you see the proof?” Sergeant Slaughter said as Todd hopped wildly around the lounge.
“That was great!” Todd shouted, “I love mountain climbing! Can we do it again, Sarge? Huh? Can we? Can we?”
“Maybe later.
After I find my lungs,” Sergeant Slaughter replied.
“I never thought I’d see the sight I found,” Roadblock began, “Someone finally ran the Sarge into the ground.”
“I wanna train some more!” Todd said, jumping up and down.
“It’s official,” Sergeant Slaughter replied, flopping down onto the couch, “I’m getting old. There was a time that a little thing like climbing a mountain
wouldn’t tire me out like this.”
“You’ve never done it with a mutant teenager hyped up on BA’s coffee,” Roadblock observed.
“Good point. Any more of that coffee left?”
“I’ll have some more!” Todd said.
“OH NO YOU WON’T!” Everyone in the room shouted.
“Aww…” Todd pouted, before hopping over to Roadblock, “So what do you wanna do, Roadblock?”
“You’re not tired?” Roadblock asked, incredulous.
“Not yet,” Todd shook his head.
“Oh great,” Roadblock groaned.
“And you still decided to bring a thermos full of that stuff back to the room?” Kate whispered to Conrad.
“It wasn’t that bad a cup of coffee,” Conrad replied.
“Minus the fact that it’s got Todd insanely wired right now!” Kate replied.
“YAHOO! YIPEEE!” Todd shouted as he hopped from floor, to ceiling, to wall around the lounge.
“Good point. But I’m sure if you’re likely to have a late night or an early morning BA’s coffee isn’t a bad thing,” Conrad observed.
“Provided Todd, Althea, or God forbid Trinity don’t get a hold of it,” Kate replied.
“Good point! Those three are insane enough without BA’s coffee…” Conrad began before pausing.
“I agree,” Kate replied, before noticing Conrad’s voice trailing off. She was about to ask him what he was going on about when she saw Conrad raise his index finger to his lips.
Kate followed Conrad’s line of sight to where Todd looking around, before spotting something hidden in a camouflage backpack near the chair Beach Head was sitting in.
“Oh great, now what do I do?” Roadblock groaned.
“Don’t look at me,” Beach Head said with a snorted laugh, “It’s not my fault you can’t control him.”
Because Beach Head and Roadblock were busy arguing about Roadblock’s apparent lack of control over Todd neither man saw what Conrad and Kate were witnessing. Todd’s hand reached into a partially open main compartment of the backpack, pulling out a brown teddy bear wearing camouflage fatigues and shiny little black boots.
“Hey, is this your teddy bear?” Todd asked.
“WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?” Beach Head roared, "YOU WERE IN MY BACKPACK YOU LITTLE SNEAK!!!"
"Let's play a game!" Todd shouted, hopping up and down, waving the bear.
Beach Head stood up from the chair to start chasing Todd. Todd whooped happily and shouted, "I've got Sergeant Snuffles!"
"MAKE HIM GIVE THAT BACK!" Beach Head shouted.
"What am I supposed to do?" Roadblock asked, "I can't control him, remember."
"Unbelievable," Kate groaned as she began to make a couple notes on her PDA, "I'm going to have a heck of a time describing Todd on a caffeine high."
"Why not just say coffee and mutants don't mix and leave it at that?" Conrad replied.
"You don't know Agent Baer," Kate replied, "He's going to want every single detail and...HEY!!!"
Kate yelped and her chair flipped over backward when Todd grabbed her PDA and she tumbled backward in a graceless heap.
“ROADBLOCK MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK!” Beach Head shouted as he chased Todd around the room.
Kate rolled out of the way, narrowly avoiding having Beach Head step on her midsection as he gave chase.
“Hey! Watch it!” Kate shouted. She felt a hand under each of her arms and the sensation of being dragged out of the way.
“Don’t look at me,” Roadblock said with a smile, “I can’t control him, remember?”
“Beach Head, do you think you could control where you stamp your feet? You nearly stomped on my stomach chasing the kid!” Kate exclaimed.
Conrad reached down to help Kate to her feet and she did sway slightly, having worn a pair of high heels that day.
Not the best footwear to try and chase down a hyperactive mutant teenager, Kate thought.
She dusted herself off as Beach Head continued to try to chase Todd around the room, “I’m thinking that the nearest mental institution in Washington D.C. has its newest inmate.”
“Who? Todd?” Conrad asked.
“No. Me, once I submit today’s report,” Kate groaned, “Baer isn’t going to believe this.”
“There’s always omission,” Conrad replied.
“I’m seriously considering that,” Kate sighed.
After about another hour of Beach Head fruitlessly chasing Todd around the lounge Roadblock managed to get the kid to give back the items he had taken.
“So whatdya want to do now?” Todd asked, hopping up and down.
“Why don’t you go play in a minefield,” Beach Head glared at him.
“CAN I?” Todd asked, eyes going wide and fluttering his eyelids.
“NO!” Roadblock shouted. “Come on, playtime’s over. Let’s go talk to Lifeline now, shall we?”
“Okay,” Todd said as he hopped alongside Roadblock.
Roadblock, out of the corner of his eye, noticed Conrad and Kate were following them.
Sticking closer to me than my own shadow, not surprising. Roadblock thought. They’re not bad people, however given they’re not members of G.I. Joe I still don't 100% trust either of them.
“Kid, do you ever walk?” Roadblock said, turning his attention back to Todd.
“Sorry,” Todd replied in mid hop, and upon landing reverted to walking, “It just comes natural to me, y’know.”
“I guess,” Roadblock replied as the foursome walked into the Infirmary and towards Lifeline’s office, “Now stay with Agent Todd and Agent Hart. Don’t go too far…”
Lifeline looked up from his computer as Roadblock walked into the room.
“Lifeline, do you have any knock out drops?”
“What?” Lifeline asked.
“The kid is on a caffeine high,” Roadblock explained, “Please, just something to calm him down.
Before he runs
me down!”
“Roadblock, that’s not idea to give the boy too much medication,
especially given his mutated metabolism,” Lifeline replied.
“Please!” Roadblock replied, “I tried having him exercise it off. It didn’t work.”
“I know. I saw Sarge, Tunnel Rat, and Big Lob earlier,” Lifeline sighed, “Let me have a look at him.”
“Thanks,” Roadblock said as they walked out into the hall. Todd was nowhere to be seen, neither were Agent Todd or Agent Hart.
“Oh no,” Lifeline groaned, “You don’t think he went out to look at the tanks again, did he?”
“How did he get past an agent from ACME and an agent from the US Secret Service?” Roadblock said.
“Oh Lord,” Lifeline groaned as the two of them went around the building looking for him.
Roadblock reached into his pocket and grabbed his cell phone. He punched in Agent Hart’s number and when he picked up he heard Conrad’s reply, “Agent Hart…”
“What the Hell is going on here? Where’s Todd?” Roadblock demanded.
“Relax, Monsieur Roadblock,” Conrad said, “He’s got plenty of adult supervision and…”
Roadblock heard an explosion and the sound Todd’s maniacal laughter. Roadblock dropped his phone.
“Roadblock? What’s going on?” Lifeline asked, as he scooped up the phone.
“Oh Lord, that boy and weapons are not a good combination!” Roadblock replied as he and Lifeline headed outside, “If he’s gotten into the grenades…”
“Yes, Agent Hart, this is Lifeline. What’s going on?”
“Todd’s with me and Agent Todd and some other Joes at the firing range,” Conrad replied, “The one for the rocket launchers…”
Lifeline cupped the mouthpiece of the phone and relayed the information. Roadblock’s eyes just about bugged out of his head.
“RPGs!? Todd’s gotten into the
RPGs!!” Roadblock shouted.
Lifeline said, “Hang on, we’ll be right there.”
After getting into one of the government sedans on the base Lifeline and Roadblock headed for the nearby firing range.
“Roadblock…(gasp)...slow down! Todd’s got adult supervision!” Lifeline shouted as he fell behind.
“Fire in the hole!” Conrad’s shout could be heard, and then the sound of a rocket firing…
