(The following is a collaborative entry between Kidman and Joe Kerr)
VILE HQ, Antarctica -
When Joe had returned to HQ following the news of the plane crash, the mood was still relatively tense. No news had yet filtered in as to whether the passengers of the ill-fated plane had survived. Many of the henchmen had spent countless hours checking every possible news source and radio frequency to see if any updates could be found. The disappointment of not having any news, coupled with the fatigue and stress of the situation, had created a rather stifling atmosphere of tension around the place. The only silver lining so far was that a contact from the safe house in Brazil had confirmed that Sarah Nade was currently working on finding Vic, or what was left of him.
Since returning, Joe had not had time to enjoy his new ‘prize’. Instead, apart catching up on some sleep and leaving VILE Bot to be recharged and serviced by the HQ technicians, Joe spent the rest of his time trying to reassure the jumpy henchmen and spread a little cheer around the place; he was after all a jester by trade.
Armed with a few whoopee cushions, jokes about ACME and a few feel good stories about Vic (the few that he had actually been told), Joe went around HQ trying his darndest to lighten the mood. It wasn’t that he was making light of the situation, rather, he figured that the least he could do was make sure that morale stayed up and that everyone was in the proper frame of mind. A mind clouded by sadness and fear, Joe reasoned, would not be in prime condition to react efficiently and favourably to any changes in the situation.
She hadn’t been the one Carmen wanted.
Had it been weeks prior, Kidman might have been devastated. Perhaps part of her was, but like most of her emotions now it lay flat under a growing layer of apathy. After all that, Carmen hadn't wanted her. Vic probably told her of her insubordination, of her desperate bid to save them both. To save everything. Not that it mattered now, now that everything is going to hell.
There was a vague relief to fading away in obscurity, if she could have done so in England. She had been sent to Antarctica instead, on one of the longest, dullest trips of her life.
If the situation had been different, she would have found it exciting to watch the Earth’s terrain slowly morph from one climate to the next. She wanted to be excited. She wanted to be worried. She wanted to be anything other than the dullness that filled her, but all she found was the growing grey.
Kidman now sat alone on the floor in a secluded hallway within the Antarctic bunker. She found the base to be not so bad overall, but her present state recast the place as a tomb.
“I can’t even go out on the roof here, unless I wanted to freeze to death…” she murmured gloomily to an expensive pen, then fell into a quiet brood as her thoughts wandered into darker places.
It was just after lunch and Joe was preparing to do another round of ‘cheering up’ in the place when he found her. It had been her sigh that drew Joe to her; this beautiful young child clothed in dull grey hair and the most haunting eyes you ever saw. She seemed out of place in the installation and her presence intrigued Joe. Deciding to remove his mask, he went over to her.
“Hello, my name is Joe. If you haven’t guessed by my get up, I’m the resident jester. And who might you be?”
Kidman looked up to find a man with a mask in his hand standing above her. He seemed a decent enough sort, and oddly put her at ease.
"Jesting? You must feel so out of place now."
Joe smiled warmly at the curious young girl.
"Actually I happen to think my 'gift' has come in quite handy recently"
“You do realize ACME is going to ruin us, yes? And Vic and the pilot and those ACMEs...”
Joe paused slightly before replying.
“Ah yes, the plane. I won't lie. It's an unfortunate incident but I still hold out hope for the best.”
“I tried to stop all this, Joe. I should have done more, but I was... I didn’t understand what was going on at the time, what she was saying. I was too scared, and by the time it set in...”
Kidman looked at the man’s shoes.
Joe lifted the girl’s face and looked into her eyes. He smiled and replied in an assuring a tone as he could muster.
“I don’t know what you think you could have done but you certainly would have not been able to change the boss’s mind on anything. None of us knew the plane was going to crash either. It’s just one of those unexpected hazards of the game I guess.”
Kidman wasn’t used to being touched and pulled back.
“I can agree with the plane, but I feel... This tower heist is a curse on us. She flew too close to the sun. How could Ma- Carmen of all people do something so, so insane?”
“Carmen’s the boss for a reason. We at VILE trust her to know what she’s doing and to know the game better than us. Every plan she concocts, every move she takes, I believe has its carefully calculated risks. I trust that the Tower Heist was no exception. She knew the risks involved, the possible repercussions of such a bold action;she calculated and decided it was an acceptable gamble and so she took it.”
Joe paused thoughtfully before continuing.
“I don’t claim to know all her reasons or possibly agree 100% with everything. However, I trust her. That’s why I work with her, that’s why I’m here. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“Yes... that’s what I’m supposed to do, yes? I know it’s almost like a religion here. Master can do no wrong...”
She trailed off in guilt, then looked directly at him.
“But I can’t do that. Even if she fully planned this from every angle, how, how can she account for the logical conclusion that ACME is going to be mad as hell over this? I know Master is Master, but so was Napoleon until Russia. Japan was tearing up the South Pacific until they thought to bomb Pearl Harbour. Even the best planners get tempted by such things. She’s human, you know...”
The girl paused.
“...And I don’t think I’m able to trust.“
“You might be surprised to know that I agree with you. The boss is human and she does make mistakes. What we have in VILE is not a religion by any means. It’s more of a relationship of trust. We’re a family here. If one makes a mistake, we all suffer together. If one succeeds, we all rejoice together. That’s part of the nature of the game.”
Joe stopped to give Kidman a thoughtful look.
“We all knew what we were getting into when joined up. That’s why a situation like this doesn’t faze me. Besides, no matter how mad ACME gets, they’re bound by their own code of ethics and honour just like we are. It prevents either side from going overboard.”
Kidman smiled grimly.
“Their code of ethics, you say? I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting an ACME, but I do know those who have. I’m a grunt, and I lived amongst grunts. I saw the injuries that came back. ACMEs believe that anything they do against us is justified because they are on the ‘right’ side of the law. Don’t think they won’t modify their ethics to suit their needs.”
Her thoughts warred with each other and she closed her eyes against them. Kidman was tired. He could be right, that this was all being played out over her head and she should lie back and wait like the rest, but the girl couldn't handle this slow burning nightmare anymore. It’d been a year now, and it just kept getting worse.
“Carmen...” Kidman murmured absently.
“It’s so dark down here this time of year... Joe, maybe I’m not built for this like you are. My sense of family here fell away long ago, and I was in a state of inertia until she called on me. Why she called on me, I’ll never know. Something about Chase and lucky charms. Then she sent me out to train. It was too late then...”
The girl stopped and stood up, still looking away.
“I don’t feel I have a family here, the way it was. I don’t trust Carmen’s judgment now, no matter how much I’m told otherwise. What purpose I had once has faded, what I had hoped I could be is now irrelevant, and what I am is...”
‘still dangerous.’
Kidman walked off to the side. It was snowing out again. Or not. Often the wind took what was already available and hurled it at the windows as its own. In the darkness it was hard to tell.
“I don’t think I belong here anymore, Joe.”
“You said it yourself, Carmen chose you. In my book, that means you belong.”
Joe walked over to where Kidman was standing and took a moment to take in the beauty of the frigid antarctic weather.
“As to why she chose you, it’s because you’re special. We all are. We each have a talent that makes this team better. Just because you’re not quite ready to play a role in the current phase of the game, it doesn’t mean you aren’t as much a part of the team as we are. The boss sent you to train so that you will be ready when it comes time for you to shine. Don’t give up on yourself so easily. She hasn’t”
Joe turned the mask over in his hand to look at it.
“As far as ACME goes, I don’t pretend to know everything about them or this game. What I do know is that both ACME and VILE have a kind of unwritten agreement that as far as this game goes, we avoid putting anyone in harm’s way, especially the innocent. That’s why you never hear of a VILE or ACME agent shot dead after a botched heist or anything of the like. Of course I wouldn’t put it past ACME to have a few dirty tricks up their sleeve. Given that we do too, it’s only fair I guess.”
Joe let out a chuckle after the last statement as he continued to admire the monotone scenery.
Kidman didn’t really believe him, but part of her didn’t care. It was nice to hear.
“She called on me, yes, but she’s since passed me by. That’s why I’m here. I doubt she would throw me out completely for being ineffective. Master is kind like that.”
Something about the man calmed her. She still felt foggy and dull, but her black thoughts leveled back into grey once more.
‘I might have gone out there if you hadn’t come by...’
“It was a good game, once, but she ended it when she took the tower. I may seem a crazed doomsday lunatic on a street corner, but it will come to pass in some form. I’d rather be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. I would love it to return to the carefree days of cat and mouse, I really would.”
The girl paused. There were no voices shouting in her head for once. It was quiet, mercifully serene.
“I say... Why do you wear a mask?”