Keep talking

[Invader]

Keep talking

An inner argument with invaders sense of self.

She wants to talk to them , but is afraid of driving them away with her nightmares,sorrow, and fear. Things are eating her from the inside out, but she will not admit it. She can feel them gnawing away at her with little rodent teeth little by little. The silence suffocates her in the long lonely hours that she lies awake. The inner pain is bearable for now, though it could get worse if she does not let it go.

" Talk to them." An inner voice prods.
"No!" She whispers back. "if they can get close to you they can hurt you."
"They have not done so yet." The inner voice remarks sharply.
"Not unless they talk to me first! " Invader hisses. "Those are the rules!"
"Those are HIS rules!, you are no longer in his clutches" The voice tosses back.
"Admit it I will always be an outsider! that is how it HAS to be!" Invader demands.
" You don't know that yet!" Muses the inner voice. " Just talk to them they WILL understand."
"That would mean admitting being weak, , helpless.... in need." Growls invader
"Face it you need them, you are starved for that warmth" It triumphantly counters.
"starving...always ....starving....hoping....waiting....praying....longing." Invader Sighs. " But I ...I am not worthy of their attentions, or affections..."
"Who told you that? do you really believe those words? Do you really think you are still a worthless thing?" The voice demands.
"After what I went though......how I was treated, how could I ....not be?" Invader cries defeated. "I was nothing to him , how could I be otherwise?"
"That was then , THIS IS NOW! things change, you can change!" It thunders. " Don't just give up yet, there is still hope!"
"Hope, do you really think I have some hope left? " Mocks Invader. " I thought I lost that long ago along with other things."
"Not lost, just sleeping ! " Replies the voice soothingly. " Sleeping like the flowers under the snow, awaiting the spring."
"Snow, more like ice...13 years of ice, endless ice, eternal ice" Invader Retorts. "Though after I met...him"
"Yes him, he pulled that out of you didn't he, you are no longer bound by that ice." It reassures.
"Thanks to him, you are free from that , you did write down that dream did you not?"
"Yes I wrote it down, but I wont tell them just yet." Muses invader with a smile.
"See you CAN smile again!" It Pokes playfully " I know YOU can be happy again, just let it out, rejoice and TALK TO THEM!"

The end.