Writing Je n'ai jamais

Chase

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I figured since some of us are learning French, I'd throw in something.
This is a version of the 'Never Have I Ever' game, but without alcohol. And the only consequence, hopefully, is that you increase your French vocabulary.

Rules:
  • You write about something (In French) that you've never done using the starting phrase "Je n'ai jamais"
  • The person below then talks about their experience (in English or French):
    If they'd done it, if not, when, where, why? and end the post with another "Je n'ai jamais"
  • Can be OOC/IC
  • The "Je n'ai jamais" must be written in French. Use Google translate, freely and often, it's fine.
The point here is to increase your exposure to French in some small way. Participation is optional, but always beneficial.
 

Jacqueline Hyde

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Je n'ai jamais triché a un exam.
Moi non plus. C'est mal! (Et moi, moi non plus.)

Je n'ai jamais appris le français. (Moi je l'ai appris.)

Me neither. It's wrong! (Nor have I.)

I've never learned French. (I have.)
 
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Chase

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Je n'ai jamais appris le français.
(My best French learning experience was a girl I met at CDG (the airport). She let me stay at her apartment, which was a two-bedroom and a decent luxury in the 12th Arronndissement. The way she treated me, I was sure we were a couple. But there were discrepancies. During this time, she also had other men come and go. She'd introduce me as 'copain' and, for all I knew of French at the time, meant anything from 'boyfriend' to just 'pal'.

She didn't speak a word of English, that was great for my French. I felt I was living something out of 'Norwegian Wood' -- the song, not the Japanese novel -- because she had no chair. We'd just sit around and smoke the stuff that her Afghan friend brought over. I didn't know what half that stuff was, but I was there for the experience.

Then when it was time to leave Paris, she drove me in her little Renault to the airport, we had this long kissing session goodbye... Made empty promises... And I never saw her again. Still worth every confusing minute.)


Je n'ai jamais mangé de Pocky
(I've never eaten Pocky)
 

Jacqueline Hyde

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J'adore le Pocky! I first had it when one of my VILE friends offered me a piece at lunch.

(@Chase's friends share their drugs; Jacqueline's friends share their Pocky. Incidentally, copain could also mean 'fishing buddy.')

(Je n'ai jamais cousu une robe. Probablement Jacqueline en a cousu.)
 

Morgan

ACME
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My best learning experience was a girl I met...
Many of your stories seem to start this way. To dispell any confusion, you were the necessary 'Token American Boyfriend' to a young Parisienne, congratulations. It's the perfect no-strings-attached relationship.

Je n'ai jamais cousu une robe. Probablement Jacqueline en a cousu.
(Out of turn, but I wanted to note that I've always been impressed with @Neb's narrator's sewing skills.)

Je n'ai jamais eu d'animal de compagnie.
Idem. J'aurais pu être responsable de la mort de quelqu'un... un poisson... pas exprès, bien sûr. Mais, c'est pourquoi @Joe Kerr prend soin de Carmine.


Je n'ai jamais volé quelqu'un.
 

Jacqueline Hyde

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Many of your stories seem to start this way. To dispell any confusion, you were the necessary 'Token American Boyfriend' to a young Parisienne, congratulations. It's the perfect no-strings-attached relationship.
Oh mon dieu. Cassé!
Je n'ai jamais volé quelqu'un.
Vous avez beaucoup d'adjoints pour le faire, n'est-ce pas? Moi incluse...

Je ne suis jamais allée à l'Antarctique.
 
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Neb

The VILEiest VILE to ever VILE a VILE
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(Out of turn, but I wanted to note that I've always been impressed with @Neb's narrator's sewing skills.)
Awwwww.... <3 Je dois faire un meilleur album de mes affaires

Je n'ai jamais volé quelqu'un.
Cela ne me dérangerait pas d'être volé par Carmen....

Je ne suis jamais allée à l'Antarctique.
J'y ai vécu avant que quelqu'un n'explose l'endroit pour se venger

Je n'ai pas explosé quelque chose pour m'amuser (/mensonge évident)
 

Morgan

ACME
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Êtes-vous sûr?
J'ai remarqué que tu me vouvoyer... tu peux me tutoyer ça ne me dérange pas.

Cela ne me dérangerait pas d'être volé par Carmen....
Fais attention à ce que tu souhaites.

"Je n'ai jamais été amoureux."
Mm, es-tu sûr?

Je parle français et espagnol, mais je n'ai jamais vraiment appris aucune autre langue.
Je recommande fortement d'étudier l'italien, tu feras très bien.


Je n'ai jamais dormi dans une voiture.
 

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