[Chat Log] April-May 2019

[Invader]

Closest I can come up with is inadequate

 

[Claire Yeon]

A therapist once told me "If you can't sleep, don't try and force yourself to. Get up. Read a book. Take a walk. Do a puzzle. Something."

 

[Claire Yeon]

Closest I can come up with is inadequate

That is the darkness talking, beloved. You are a delight and a blessing unto us. I know it may not seem that way sometimes, but that is a belief I hold to be true. If you would like to talk about it, I am here. If you would like a distraction, I can provide that, too.

 

[Invader]

I just struggle with all things, I dont want to be left behind again.

 

[Claire Yeon]

When you say left behind, what does that mean to you?

 

[Invader]

Everyone for the longest time was far more skilled than I was, and hated me for it.

 

[Invader]

No one wanted to walk with me or show me how to get better.

 

[Invader]

(I just get mad at myself, for not getting things easily)

 

[Claire Yeon]

That is their failing, not yours. And yes, it is very frustrating to not understand things easily. Just today I indulged in a moment of self-pity looking at my two newest staff members and observing that it took me months to get to where they had progressed in weeks when I was a newbie. You do many things well. I am amazed by your knowledge of the natural world, particularly your affinity for bees

 

[Claire Yeon]

(As would I, to be honest, and call myself coward all the while)

 

[Invader]

(I am just trying to undo a lot of damage, and just never allowed myself to feel things at the time, survival came first)

 

[Invader]

(I dont blame myslef any more that is good, and last year was a lot of surgery and healing dreams)