Sorry my last mission took longer than I thought. I am back now, yeah? On to questions...
Shalom, Khalid! Love that you're back! On murder and subterfuge, what was your most creative kill, was it under ACME? (ACME's covert operations count, or like, whatever name you guys "don't call" yourselves.)
I have not taken any such missions under ACME.
If you are asking about my previous job I can think of one creative solution we had to come up with. There is a city in India where monkey attacks are quite common. A few years ago, a high ranking government official fell to his death from his hotel balcony because the monkeys were attracted to his breakfast. His bodyguards, being devout Hindus did not immediately open fire on the animals as they are believed to be sacred.
In this particular incident, the government official was using his political connections to send weapons to certain extremist groups in Indonesia. But this was not out in the open. If he were to disappear it would be not good, yeah? Because then people will say someone killed him for this reason or that reason. Big fight.
I was there with a team of three. Me and the second team member worked in the hotel laundry for three weeks, even before he checked in. Everyday we would soak the target's clothes with monkey pheromones. It could not be detected for humans, but it was very attractive to male macaques.
A day before, we broke the air conditioning unit on his balcony with a projectile, and our third team member was sent there to fix it. But his job was actually to drop a strong acid on the balcony railings.
The day that this all came down, we knew there would be temple celebrations. The loud noise and increased people drive the monkeys a bit away from their usual places to look for food in the buildings.
The monkeys came, attracted to both his scent and breakfast. As he tried to chase them away he grabbed onto a railing which broke immediately and he fell to the streets below. The official cause of death was serious head injuries.
To conclude. I believe this shows both creativity and the ability to plan and execute a multi-phase mission. I also worked well with the team. As you will see in the report.