Fan Fiction A very Secret Santa

Joe Kerr

VILE Trickster
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Joey, Joseph,
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ACME HQ, San Francisco, CA

The second floor of Accolade consisted almost entirely of multi-purposed function rooms; each room was segregated by soundproof partitions which could be removed to create a huge, exhibition hall-sized venue for larger events.

A pair of black pumps graced the rich grey carpeting of the currently combined hall; a young woman dressed in a simple but elegant black dress continued to cross things off the black clipboard currently held in her well-manicured hands.

“Hey Renee, lighten up. You really should be enjoying the party.”

Blue eyes hidden behind a pair of rimless glasses looked up to be greeted by the smile of a blond-haired young man. Said young man was sharply dressed in a navy suit and tie and was busy enjoying his plateful of hors d'oeuvres.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Mr Monaghan, but I am in charge of this party and I need to make sure it continues to run like clockwork. However, seeing as you seem to be a big fan of the pigs in a blanket,”

She paused to glance down at his plateful of the bacon-wrapped sausages.

“I probably should go and check that the caterer has enough left for everyone else.”

Zack had the good graces to blush slightly at that remark. He was about to utter a reply only to get cut off as a slender hand came to rest upon his left shoulder.

“Give it up little bro, you know how seriously Renee takes her duties. The party’s going great, by the way, Renee. Thanks for organising it this year.”

Ivy Monaghan, field commander of ACME’s main tactical unit, had ditched her usual windbreaker and cargo pants for a stunning one-shoulder emerald dress that perfectly accentuated her fiery red tresses; her signature tactical boots had also been put aside in favour of a rarely worn set of black strapless heels.

Renee smiled gratefully at the older Monaghan sibling and was about to return the compliment before she was rudely interrupted by a crash from the other side of the room. Taking a deep breath, she pinched her nose and sighed.

“I apologise but I need to take my leave.”

Not needing to further explain, the personal secretary to the Director of Operations turned on her ‘heel’ and stalked towards the guilty culprit, a sheepish and profusely apologising waiter, all the while muttering under her breath about incompetence.

The Monaghan siblings shared a toast as they were joined by a dark-haired young man with an exuberant smile on his face.

“Hey Mr Zack, Commander, great party huh?”

“Hey Nevon, my man, no need for formalities here, just call me Zack.”

“And tonight, we’re off the clock, so you can drop the commander title. Good to see you, Nevon, nice suit.”

Nevon was, much like Zack and most of the other males in the room, dressed in a suit and tie; unlike most of his peers, Nevon was perfectly comfortable with the formal attire and it showed in his confidence.

“I am just so excited right now; I can’t wait till we get to the secret santa bit and we all receive our presents.”

The siblings shared a laugh at Nevon’s unbridled enthusiasm as they all glanced at the big pile of gifts placed under the huge Christmas tree in the corner.

“So Nevon, speaking of secret Santa, who did you...ouch!”
Zack rubbed the back of head right where his sister’s right hand had slapped him.

“You know the rules little bro, no spoiling the fun.”

The trio shared a laugh at Zack’s tomfoolery before a thought occurred to Nevon

“Hey, just wondering, who do you think got the Director? He’s playing right? Must be real stressful having to shop for him.”

Sharing a conspiratorial smile, the siblings pulled Nevon aside to educate him.

“You don’t have to worry about Chase, Nevon. His secret santa is always the same every year.”

“Wait, what? That’s like insane odds. Whoever that person is really ought to go to Vegas, not that I’m advocating gambling or anything.”

Ivy laughed knowingly.

“Oh, I’m sure she does go there once in awhile.”

“She? Oh you mean Renee? Makes sense that his PA would be the one drawing his name. She’d know him best.”

Zack shook his head.

“No, not Renee. Its someone else, someone who knows him better than anyone of us could. Best person to shop for him really, if you think about it.”

Nevon was now officially befuddled.

“I don’t understand.”

Instead of enlightening him, the siblings opted to converse with each other, wanting to see if Nevon would pick up on their hints.

“So you think she’ll show this year?”

“Maybe. But it’s more likely that she already came and went. She’s about as much of a party person as Chase is.”

“True that.”

Nevon watched as the siblings shared another laugh at the apparent inside joke before continuing.

“You know, it really is impressive how she always manages to slip in and out each year, especially considering that it’s hostile territory for her.”

“True Zack. But she wouldn’t be worthy of her title if she couldn’t pull this off.”

“Ivy, is that admiration I hear in your voice?”

“Nope. Just giving credit where it is due.”

Finally Nevon couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Who is she? What are you talking about?”

The siblings froze at the loudness of his voice and quickly turned around to apologize to the other guests for the outburst.

Before Nevon could protest further, the siblings dragged him to one of the stairwells and addressed him in a hushed tone.

“We’re sorry for pulling your strings, Nevon. But I guess now that you’re on of us, you ought to know.”

“Know what?”

“Uh-uh. You have to swear an oath of silence first.”

Nevon was now even more confused.

“What my little bro means, is that you have to promise not to mention this to anyone else.”

Nevon nodded silently and even raised three fingers in a silent oath.

“Ok, Nevon. Before we fill you in on the details, make an educated guess based on what you already heard from us. Final hint, you would think she’d be wearing a red dress.”

Nevon went through the clues in his head - knows Director Devineaux better than anyone else...good at slipping in and out of the party...HQ or at least Accolade is ‘hostile territory’ to dress…

Nevon could have sworn he heard a record scratch somewhere as he did a double-take.

“Wait, you’re talking about Ms C…”

Zack put a hand across his mouth to stop his excited outburst.

“Shh. Don’t say her name out loud here, we wouldn’t want to cause a massive panic.”

Nevon nodded slowly as Zack removed his hand. Looking at Ivy, he quietly mouthed one word,

Ivy smiled as she began to reminisce.
“Honestly, we don’t know how it started. What we do know is that ever since we restarted the office tradition of secret santa around 7 years ago, the Director has always had a special present waiting for him under the tree, even when his name wasn’t included in the draw.”

Zack continued where his sister had left off.
“We kinda figured out it was her when we saw how agitated Chase was after finding the present each time. The director has of course, neither confirmed nor denied our suspicions, but he doesn’t really have to. Who else could pull something like this off?”

Nevon looked between the two siblings as he processed this new revelation.
“So, if we know to expect her to arrive, why aren’t we setting some sort of trap for her? Isn’t she like one of our most wanted?”

Surprisingly, it was Ivy who shook her head.
“Despite what the Director might utter under his breath, he wouldn’t want us to. So, the few of us in the know chose to respect his unsaid wishes.”

“Yeah, besides, it’s Christmas dude. Goodwill to men, and all that jazz, remember?”
Zack added whilst giving Nevon a friendly pat on the back.

Nevon nodded slowly.
“Ok, I get it. Who else knows though?”

“I suspect Renee, since nothing escapes her. Sophie probably knows too, since Chase confides in her. And lastly, Tanya...cause I accidentally told her.”

Zack finished the last part sheepishly.

“Ok I understand. Mum’s the word on this.”
Nevon made a show of zipping his lip and throwing away the key, much to the siblings’ amusement.

Exiting the stairwell, the trio returned to the party just in time to observe Chase Devineaux give another exasperated sigh as he retrieved his present from under the tree.

The trio shared a knowing look as the Director whispered something to Renee before walking off toward his office.


In his office, Chase Devineaux nursed a small glass of scotch as he carefully unwrapped the parcel in front of him. Gingerly opening the custom wooden box, he extracted a silver-coloured watch from the box and the accompanying note that had been hidden under it.

To replace the one I borrowed last time.
Merry Christmas.

Chase Devineaux cracked a wry smile and turned his chair toward the window. Lifting his glass towards the night sky, he whispered to no one in particular.

“Merry Christmas to you too, Carmen.”



The VILEiest VILE to ever VILE a VILE
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Nebuchadnezzar (Neb) Ullyss (formerly Kid Kidman), Kitty, Seryy Pripyat
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You just a little fic Santa

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