The Great Trans-Syberian Adventure

Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 36
The Splash Squad planned their next offensive against Make Out Point #5 at the Omsk Academic Drama Theatre and headed out to battle. They found it would be quite the festive theatrical as Shakespearean-themed Pop Bots descended upon them. They would blast quotations from famous plays and attack with swords, Spears, axes, and muskets. While the girls find the wardrobes quite romance-inspiring, they are not hesitant to make them defeat them causing them to go into overly dramatic death throes. The Splash Squad got caught up in the moment and spoke in ways that would make Shakespeare quite proud. Dmitri exclaimed, “Verily! We shall strike at thee foul machinations till we find thy wicked Love Trial; and drive a stake through its heart!”

Polly coming up to a double door, spoke while switching to her Splash Cannon, saying thusly, “While I am but a humble demoiselle your ilk vexes me to no end and so I say unto you; FEEL MINE RIGHTEOUS FURY!!!” Polly fired her cannon and blasted the Play Pops and the door open. Team Splash was changed into Shakespearean garb for the battle that was to come by Fashion Pop Bots from the backstage wardrobe. Dmitri and Nicolai were dressed in knight and archer clothing and armor, while Polly and Ann were put into beautiful medieval ballroom gowns. Inside they ran, yet unbeknownst to our heroes, the Trial of Love was there, and the stage lights shone brightly upon it. It was revealed in all its glory to be the Love Inn, a mobile pink robot modeled after a hotel. Of course, this hotel was not very inviting or hospitable, and they began to fire weapons from the windows that opened.

Occasionally robot guests and staff would pop out of the windows and throw luggage and shoes at Team Splash. Ann yelled, “Forsooth! We be not cats! Quit throwing thine cobbled shoes!” Ann fired her custom paint AK48 at the windows and managed to destroy some of them as the Inn moved around on its two treads. Suddenly Polly was grabbed by a rope that shot out from the front door and was pulled inside. Polly then had to navigate the traps and enemies to get back out, and while that was happening on the upper balcony, a Pop Bot dressed as Juliet emerged while a Romeo Pop Bot came up from the ground below. A sappy narrator, Pop Bot, started telling the tale of Romeo and Juliet while an audience of Pop Bots listened intently. However, when Team Splash was doing well, they would boo and hurl various things onto the stage, trying to hit them.

Polly having blasted a Play Pop Bot to pieces, was confronted by a Pop Bot swordsman with who she began sword fighting. The Love Inn opened lengthwise, revealing the three inner levels Polly had to fight through to get to the fourth floor. There was a wall made of transparent material, letting everyone look inside but also preventing Polly from escaping by simply jumping out onto the stage, and it made it look like an excellent side-scrolling adventure game. Forward she bravely advanced, dodging one dastardly trap after another, mostly. After getting tied up to a vertical platform, she had to think fast to free herself before it spun around, and she was taken behind the wall while Sword Pop laughed maniacally. She managed to free herself and continue onward, battling the dark sword-bot.

Dmitri managed to rush inside the Love Inn, narrowly avoiding tomatoes tossed in his direction, and began heroically battling through the evil devices. Polly pushed the Sword Pop to the balcony when it gained the upper hand and sent her over the edge. Polly hung on for dear life as Dmitri began to fight the Pop Bot while Pop Juliet took out her noticeably large ax to punish Dmitri for interrupting her scene. Dmitri ducked, causing the ax to cleave the Sword Pop in twain giving him time to run to Polly and pull her up. Pop Juliet would not be denied, however, as Pop Romeo scaled the wall of the Love Inn to join his beloved in combat. They ran into the Love Inn as the fourth floor changed to a ballroom. Gracefully they danced divinely while fighting against the two mechanical lovers and their fellow Play Pop Bot dancers.

Dmitri and Polly had suddenly found themselves in a deadly dance competition. They figured Sachi and Candy originally intended this setup for dancing with Double Trouble, but now it was being used to destroy them. Polly remarked, “This is ridiculous! We have to out dance those robots or the floor area we’re standing on will electrocute us!” Dmitri, annoyed, said, “I don’t think we could fight them if we wanted to the floor is booby-trapped, but if I must dance… I’m… glad… its… with… you.” Polly, slightly blushing, replied, “Is it that hard to say that to me? I must make you really nervous my good sir. So I guess this is the part where I take your hand and we’ll make it?” Dmitri answered, “Well I guess it is and together we will win my lady.”

Dmitri and Polly danced, fought, and eliminated their competition couple by couple until only they and Romeo and Juliet remained. At this point, the pretense of frivolity came to an end as the declared winners were Dmitri and Polly. Romeo Pop and Juliet Pop took out their weapons and charged the two back out onto the balcony, where they hoped to fall their rivals. But alas, they were defeated by Dmitri and Polly and sent over the edge, crashing to the floor below. Holding hands, they happily proclaimed throughout the land, “Real love need not be manufactured and emulated by the masses. When you say how you truly feel that is romance at its most powerful.”

The silent theater erupted in massive boos and hisses as multiple objects were thrown at the two. This unexpectedly damaged the Love Inn, making it easier for Team Splash to finish it off in quite a dramatic fashion. As the Love Inn sparked, belched smoke, and collapsed onto the stage floor, Team Splash bowed and curtsied to the crowd as they all exploded in their seats, sending springs and gears safely raining down around them. They all exclaimed, “Truly we have triumphed and have victory! And now we shall go on our merry way!”

The KDS had officially dropped VCG popularity to 30%, and people were throwing off their number ratings in large numbers. VCG propaganda forcefully showed a static image of Sachi and Candy while repeating slogans to instill a sense of normalcy. But the people were not fooled, mostly, and the VCG was going to make their final stand at the Giftedness Development Center. And why not? After all, who was more gifted than Sachi and Candy. Certainly not Polly, Ann, or blech Patty. As they took the Book of Love and readied for the coming assault, Sachi started ranting on air. Sachi furiously yelled, “They are cheating! It’s not fair! They keep running up walls and ceilings and using those stupid gum bubble shields to protect themselves! If it wasn’t for those gummy paint powers, we would have won by now. Then Double Trouble would be taking us out on hot dates!”

Candy, just as upset, lamented, “The people of Omsk have failed us! It’s too bad and so sad! But worry not dear citizens the VCG has a final solution! We are going to send all the swans we caught at Bird’s Haven to Make Out Point #6 and arrange our beautiful party game ballet dance mix party! I even added a second party to the title to make a party sandwich whether you like it or not! HAHAHAHAHA!!! We’ll be sitting pretty in our throne chairs while a wonderful performance commences and then our Book of Love shall proclaim us the most loving girls ever!” The VCG made it clear this would be a live transmission on VILE TV; they may have forgotten to ask permission first. The swans were held in cages spread throughout the Make Out Point to make the scenery more romantic. And if Splash Squad managed to make it to the ballet throne room, they would have their most powerful Trial of Love waiting; The Love Doll.

It was a gala event, and all the cool crime kids were attending especially fellow VILE classmates. But this did not deter Splash Squad as their recon unit gathered the information for the final assault. Dmitri said to his forces, “Now is the time to end their reign of sugarcoated evil! We will have victory and I will finally raise the KDS flag over the remains of their tainted love!” The rebels inspired ran off to face the VCG and defeat them once and for all. As they did, Galina told them the Owl would be watching over them, and their wisdom and diligence would not be forgotten. What they found on getting to the school was an amalgamation of all the Pop Bot forces they had previously fought.

Polly scanning the schoolyard battlefield, commented, “Are you kidding me? they’re leftover Pop Bots from places we’ve been already. Boring!” But suddenly, the army-themed Pop Bots marched forward from their camp tent-sized camo-colored dome-shaped bases. Pop-shaped-sized tanks, planes, and other toy military vehicles stood in opposition to the Splash Squad, and General Pop made it clear there would be no quarter. In fact, he repeated it, saying, “Bzzt! I repeat Splash Squad throw down your art supplies and surrender immediately! This. Is. Your. Last. Chance!” The Splash Squad remembering all they had been through, didn’t need to say anything.

As a light rain began to fall, they yelled as they charged forward. The Splash Squad and Pop Bots clashed with all the fury each side had to give. While the battle was raging, a messenger from Fleet Zeddelin delivered a letter from VILE Command. Sachi opened the letter and read aloud, “You two are in big trouble do you understand me? You are ordered to stop your silly games as of now….” Sachi stopped reading and passed the letter to Candy, who tossed it in the trash can. Sachi said, “She wants to ruin everything like always but we’re going to win now and she can’t stop it.” Candy added, “Like yeah! Plus I already have my first dance with Trouble picked out the waltz! What do you think about that Mr. Swan?”
The swan being a bird didn’t think too much of it, nor did any of his kind trapped in cages there. However, Splash Squad was taking time out to find and free all the caged swans that, strangely enough, the school’s Owl mascot murals kept leading them to. It was almost as if the murals were speaking to them in the back of their minds. As one might expect, the freed swans followed their liberators in a single file as they advanced through the school rooms. Ann observing the situation, said, “It’s nice the swans are helping us, but where did they get those cute army helmets from?” All questions like that would have to wait as the Army Pops’ second line of defense was activated. General Pop yelled, “Brzzt! Prepare to be annihilated, Splash fools!”

The Annihilator 300 was activated and began trying to annihilate the Splash Squad. It said, “Prepare to be annihilated. And you Air Pops over there, Get in de chopaaa!” The Air Pops did as ordered and began firing from near the ceiling. Dmitri brought them crashing down fast on top of the Annihilator, who, just before exploding, said, “I’ll be back!” The swans were indifferent to the situation as they saw the school pool and headed into the water. Polly yelled, “Protect the swans!” As the Sea Pops and their armada sailed forward.

Captain Pop declared aloud in typical sea jargon, “Bzzt! Avast ye Splash scalawags! You’re going to Davy Jones Jr.’s locker!” But try as they might, the Sea Pops couldn’t stop the invasion forces from landing on the opposite end of the pool. Captain Pops’ last words as his ship slowly sank made everyone feel the war was heck when he said, “Bzzt! I’ve lived an exciting nautical life, it would seem. And there’s no better end than death by the sea.”

It was pure chaos in the Ballet room as now the party-goers were directly in the path of Splash Squad. VILE kids were trying to find escape paths as they feared arrest while other villainous children revealed they only came because of the free candy fled. As Splash Squad blasted through the doors to the final line of defense, they saw that this school area had been turned into a game zone for the VCG party. General Pop and his forces made their last stand, but the Pop Bots were useless against the Splash Squad. As he was defeated, he yelled, “Bzzt! These guys are crazy! Deploy it now!” The rebuilt Trials of Love was the last thing to face the Splash Squad. It went without saying that the Splash Squad had to fight rebuilt Trials of love one after the other in the last effort to stop them, but unlike last time, after they were all defeated, they combined into a twisted mechanical monstrosity; The Love Conquers All

Dmitri yelled, “What is this abomination!? Even love can be used to hurt people and in the end, false love revealed becomes nothing more than a twisted version of its former self. Like my father always says; Evil will show its true form.” In a growling combination of voices, the Love Conquers All replied, “Spare me the “Fury of the righteous” meat bag. Your hateful blasphemy ends here. My love shall sweep over the world and you will know true affection.” Dmitri replied, “You’re right. My hate cannot beat a man. But it can beat a monster!” Dmitri fired at the Love Conquers All, shredding vital tubes, and oil sprayed violently as it roared while wildly swinging its arms around, trying to defeat the Splash Squad before it finally exploded.

Oily goo covered everything, including the swans, while a worried group of medics treated them as best they could. Polly screamed, “Nooo!” Before charging forward into the Ballet throne room. Team Splash saw Sachi and Candy laughing at the swans saying if they joined your side, they deserved what happened. Polly gazing angrily at Sachi, replied, “You heartless witch.” Sachi thinking only of their plans, laughed and said, “Oh please you don’t even know those birds. Now be a good girl and get ready to bow to your Love Queens.” Ann screamed, “Your horrible! We won’t let you get away with this!” Candy yelled, “And what are you going to do about it, history geek!? The best things are no more than a month old at best! Deal with it loser!”

Polly walked forward and stated, “Sachi Karin and Candace Corn In the name of ACME Crime-Net I order you to surrender now.” Sachi glared intently at Polly and coldly said, “How about our friends at court “entertain” you unworthy girl.” But much to the Vile City Girl’s shock, their friends who had stayed didn’t want to help after the swans were hurt. Sachi seeing no volunteers step forward, replied, “Fine. We’ll just skip right to the Love Doll crushing you. But first, the Book of Love has ordaining to do.” Sachi and Candy confidently waited, arms crossed and eyes closed, to be named “Most loving girls ever,” but the Book of Love finished its calculations and said, “As all the data has been gathered this book finds that Polly and Ann are the winners.”

The Book of Love floated over to Polly as an infuriated Sachi pushed a button releasing the Love Doll. She screamed, “WE are the most loving!!! That book is broken! Love Doll destroy them; especially Polly Tix!” The Love Doll stomped into the room, ready to destroy the Splash Squad. It was a 20ft. A robot that looked like a traditional Baby Doll with blonde curls and blue eyes wore a cute pink dress and black shoes. She looked down at the Splash Squad and said, “Game over brats! You’re the grass and I’m the lawnmower!” As Love Doll walked toward them, Polly impulsively threw the Book of Love at Love Doll’s face. The Book of Love exploded on impact, causing a chain reaction that led to the Love Doll self-destructing.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 37
Sachi screamed, “Ahhh! Why won’t you just give up Polly!? I’ll just have to handle you myself!” Ann commented, “Wow was that doll made in China? Now we got them where we want them! Hurry we have to stop them so we can save the swans!” Sachi and Candy, having all their options exhausted, prepared to fight Polly and Ann. They faced each other five feet apart, and just as Sachi was going to attack, a hand stopped her. “That is quite enough young lady. I am so very disappointed in you as will be Carmen.” Sachi knew a Larceny when she heard one say, “You would interfere like always Patty. Good luck for you two losers, you get to escape a well-earned beating today. Give my regards to the swans, may they Rest In Peace.”

Polly, desperately wanting to save her avian allies, tried taking the last of her gum and used its ability to remove the oil by spraying paint on the swans and washing it off. Ann shedding a tear, told Polly it might work as she realized petroleum and oil-based paint were similar enough to try. Many children started crying as they wanted the swans to get better, but they couldn’t remove the oil. Polly threw a paint spray bomb high into the air near the swans, and after paint showered down on every one of them, Polly and Ann then sucked the paint into a vacuum-like paint weapon, and just like that, the swans were as white as before. Everyone started cheering and celebrating with berries and cheese as Polly and Ann hopped up and down happily.

Now on the scene, Patty had to make it clear to everyone that this was seen live and everyone was siding with Polly and Ann. With tears welling up in her eyes, Polly referred to Sachi and Candy, stating, “You two cavities are charged with a laundry list of federal crimes!” Tenchi interrupted on hologram-screen, saying, “You two cavities are charged with a laundry list of federal crimes!” Patty trying hard not to smile, said, “You’re teaching her well, Tenchi.” Tenchi blushing and surprised, said, “P-P-P-Patty!” His guitar Djinn quickly added, “Bop-a-bow a doo, Patty Larceny.” Tenchi screamed, “Shut up Djinn! Ahem, This is ACME agent Tenchi informing you that serious crimes and misdemeanors were committed and will have to be addressed.” Polly and Ann were happy to hear legal consequences would be handed out to Sachi and Candy until they were reminded of the reality of the situation.

Tenchi knowing they needed to hear the facts, said, “Sachi and Candy are minors and there are no federal charges that will be levied against them as the Russian government is avoiding further offenses to VILE. As such general punishment will be issued at VILE’s discretion. All property damages and injured peoples will be handled by insurance firms specifically set up by various nation-states to address these types of situations.” Polly, hearing enough, interjected, saying, “You mean Sachi goes free after terrorizing the city because nations are scared of VILE.” Tenchi continued, “And as such, it is up to ACME and VILE to determine disciplinary actions taken from here.” Polly responded, “May I suggest tar and feathers then?”

Multiple holographic screens popped up at this point on ACME’s side and VILE’s. They represented concerned persons who were more than willing to settle this issue. The people present were either speaking for themselves or on behalf of others. Team TKT were all present and accounted for onscreen, with Galina there in person, while VILE members Vic the Slick, Lars Vegas, and Led Zeddelin were on the opposing side. Individuals representing law enforcement wanted to record legal punishments to be decided upon. Candy, however, did not seem too concerned with the proceedings being carried out.

It was made more evident by one of the faces that appeared on ACME’s side. He was a middle-aged man with dark yellow-blonde hair, a beard, and a stern expression. He wore a grey business suit with a gold pin in the shape of wheat and corn, and he was not interested in dragging this out for too long. Sachi and Candy were both upset that Polly and Ann had been the center of attention for the last five minutes, but they knew keeping quiet was a better strategy by now. All crimes the Vile City Girls committed were named off, and the moment of punishment finally came. Patty said, “For your unauthorized crime spree and disregarding orders you two are to be given a suspension from VILE Academy until further notice.” Sachi screamed, “What!? We did more than you ever did! It’s not fair!”

Vic yelled, “Silence brat! Ya caused enough trouble with your love crap! All that territory advantage for nothin’! Ya couldn’t even lose with dignity for cryin’ out loud!” Lars added, “What exactly did you take from people!? Nothing! The only thing you did was babble on about love this and that! Your childish antics have embarrassed us enough as it is! And since you don’t have enough money to pay me I’m not looking the other way!” Tenchi said, “Your “Love crusade” is not our concern girls this private hearing is to see justice is served.” The Colonel’s eyes closed and, nodding his head in agreement, said, “Truly shameful behavior girls.” Kylie quickly replied, “Yeah it must suck to be responsible for your daughter’s upbringing Colonel Corn.”

The Colonel upset that pretending he had nothing to do with anything wasn’t working, responded, “My precious little sweet corn is clearly not the orchestrator of this love scheme! The Corn family also has its own punishment that will be carried out as well! Therefore, we can skip to the point where Candace says she’s sorry.” Candy, expectedly embarrassed, replied, “Ahh! Stop Pop! I have to find a way to make Ann suffer and get Trouble too! You’ll like him he steals for a living and is never around when I’m in trouble like now. Hahahahaha!” Colonel Corn, upset, yelled, “Young lady! You will apologize this instant, and stop speaking of some criminal boy!” Candy defiantly stuck out her tongue while Polly and Ann realized Candy’s dad was called Colonel Pop Corn.

Ann said, “This is getting weird so can we stop talking about Candy please?” Candy was incensed and replied, “Shut up history geek! My dads better than your dad, my dad is better so Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah!” Galina told Polly you should learn about people and places when you get the chance. Polly then asked why Candy wasn’t in trouble because of Colonel Corn. Tenchi told her, “Well Colonel Corn is here representing the illustrious Corn family. They are a British noble family descended from the ancient Grass family along with the Grain family.” As Tenchi spoke, Polly and Ann thought they would start to get a lecture about the food groups. They were partially correct as Colonel Corn clarified things to Candy and the uninitiated kids asking questions to which they should already know the answers.

In true military fashion, Colonel stated, “Attention you untrained grunts! Our family is beyond reproach! You are currently graced with my daughter Candace, I am the patriarch of the Corn family; her father Colonel Rye Corn a descendant of the Grass family. Her mother is the fabulous Kettle Corn, descended from the Grain family. Our children are Candace Corn who you’ve met along with her older siblings; Wheat Corn her brother, and her sister Maize Corn, followed by our youngest son Barley Corn. Candace’s actions will be dealt with and she can expect rigorous retraining in tactics by her Uncle Flour Corn as well!” Polly was hearing more about family, and it was making her hungry she asked why they let Candy join VILE only to be told families who were members of the secret world that existed above the public world saw ACME and VILE as two organizations. The fact that one enforced the law and the other stole things was not a huge concern.

The main goal was to learn martial techniques from either school to increase a family’s prestige in elite circles of nobles, military, politicians, and high-level business board members. Those who got accepted to ACME or VILE became immediately recognized, though, for obvious reasons, almost all tried getting into ACME Academy. For those who did pursue VILE, the excuse was learning infiltration and spying techniques. Polly realized what that meant and said, “Are you serious? She went to VILE to learn how to infiltrate enemy bases and acquire files or objects of importance and successfully escape with them?” The Colonel said that was precisely why she was allowed to become a thief in VILE. Polly and Ann started better understanding how outside people and groups saw the two organizations. Like anything, they wanted to use them for their reasons and agendas.

Since the Colonel valued his children above all and learned Candy wanted to do infiltration missions, he felt VILE was more experienced in the field. But he was upset to see her failure against the Jr. detectives Polly and Ann. “What have they been teaching you, honey?” He asked curiously. Candy replied, “How to be pretty and cute like Sachi. She’s my bestie daddy and we would have won if Polly and Ann didn’t cheat with their gum.” Polly and Ann shot back, “We didn’t cheat you cavity!” Colonel, upset with Candy, said, “You can’t blame the enemy for using their weapons, you must blame yourself. If you had been more serious and used friendship and teamwork you would have fared far better.” Sachi yelled, “Ahh! You sound like Patty! Peter told me to do whatever I wanted to get Double! He’s a way better person to put in charge until Carmen comes back!”

Patty, upset to hear that name, quickly asked, “What did he tell you Sachi? I guess we have to punish him too.” Sachi replied, “He told all of us you are a bad person who wants ACME to win and now all the kids know it! And Candy and I told the other kids about you trying to sabotage our love crusade so now they all hate you, Nyah.” Patty, in classic likable form, said, “You two need a timeout I’m sorry I let you run wild, your far too immature to handle what you set up.” Tenchi chimed in, saying, “Okay this “Peter” wouldn’t be a redhead would he?” Just then, a holo-screen appeared showing Double and Trouble, who had been the ridicule of endless jokes on the Crappy Tuna ever since the VCG got started. They hoped this would all go away on its own, but things had escalated to the point where they had to explain themselves.

But all Double saw when his screen came on was Patty looking at Tenchi as she began to say, “Yes he’s got red hair and I think he’s here and to be honest he kinda creepy.” Tenchi knowing this said aloud, “Peter! Get over here now!” A very excited Peter rushed over, who quite frankly was upset all eyes weren’t on him in the first place. Tenchi told Patty Peter was from a faraway place called Avalon and liked to creep girls out. But ever since the island’s enemies were beaten, he’s been kinda bored and resorted to all sorts of mischief to keep busy. Patty happily said, “Oh that’s a relief! I thought he was gonna be a crazy psycho we had to deal with! You’re the best Tenchi!” Double hearing enough yelled, “He is not the best! I am! All he did was tell you some carrot top was a harmless prankster! How does that make him great!?” Led Zeddelin, who had been eying Tenchi the whole time, wisely added, “I feel Masaki’s overabundance of knowledge was actually useful this time. Of course, Patty winning the golf tournament… on MY air golf course was far more exciting than hearing him talk.”

Tenchi’s eyes narrowing responded, “Don’t make me move this screen over there Zeddelin.” Zeddelin’s eyes narrowing shot back, “I like to see you try Masaki.” Patty interrupted them, saying, “Down boys, what’s important here is Peter isn’t a homicidal maniac, just a mischief-maker and a fan of Tenchi.” Peter shouted, “Mr. Tenchi! Your house is really cool! There’s so much stuff to do there and I love your airships but not the Jolly Roger, that one is dumb!” Peter was a fan like most boys his age though there were rumors he was much older than he appeared. Double grumbling in frustration saw the conversation was being led by Tenchi, Led, and Patty, and some guy with a corn cob pipe he started to light. He decided to simply say what should have been obvious.

Double and Trouble said to everyone, “We are not their boyfriends.” Patty suspiciously replied, “Really? Are you sure about that? They seem awfully sure that you are and… how old are you two?” Double, quickly realizing he was under heavy suspicion of inappropriate behavior, tried to absolve himself, but Sachi was adamant they had a love to span the ages. Patty growing slightly disgusted, figured Sachi and Candy had crushes on Double Trouble, who had led them on not caring about their feelings. Her insight was on point; as usual, Double Trouble had, in fact, hung out with them, not caring if they were fans or had crushes, but had not told them clearly they were not their girlfriends. Tenchi simply said, “You should be aware of how young girls feel about those sorts of things but you probably were too busy thinking how cool you were.”

Double angered said, “Shut it Tenchi! I’m not responsible for those two kids. If they have feelings that’s their business I don’t have to care how they feel.” Sachi, upset her dreams were shattered, stood silent, wiping away tears. Patty was now in a tough spot as well, angered by Double’s lack of empathy, appearing to be her usual bubbly self, and sternly punishing Sachi and Candy, who were clearly led on and hurt by Double Trouble. Galina remarked, “Oh my, it seems a new kind of twin vulture has been found.” Kylie and Tatyana were likewise upset by Double’s stupidity seeing him value appearing to be in control and emotionless to appear professional but acting like a party man with his brother off-camera. They found themselves getting more upset than Patty, knowing his criminal file and personality information were still accurate.

Kylie, upset though deciding to focus on the two little terrors, said, “If we have decided how they are going to get punished can we send them to bed without dinner already? That way we can stop hearing him talk.” Tatyana added, “Yes I believe I’ve reached the point where I don’t want to hear anymore as well.” Double was again finding himself in multiple crosshairs and did what he always did, disengaged. Why waste time dealing with what other people think of you when you can choose not to. He felt it was a wise defense strategy if one or more people had an unfavorable opinion simply stop wasting time with them to show them their opinion didn’t matter. Unfortunately for him, this was highly insulting to people, especially girls, who cared whether their thoughts were being considered. But in the end, Double decided his image, public or private was far more essential to maintain, and if it was at the expense of others’ feelings, then so be it.

Double growing tired of what he felt was people targeting him for jealousy or trying to have the final word, he said, “I’d love to continue wasting time caring what ACME thinks, but I never did. We are here as a result of those two causing a public incident. I and my brother appeared to inform you that their claims of dating us are false, and no more. While individuals here unsurprisingly chose to use it as another attempt to attack me it instead shows your true colors. And having said our peace on the issue we will be leaving for more important things and preparing for Carmen’s return. So Patty if you all can actually focus on efficiently assigning punishment and getting this over with we can get to the point where we break ACME together.” After this patronizing lecture, Double Trouble switched off their holo screens.

Led had been noticing the staticky transmission the whole time and said aloud, “Hmm they must still be on Dirk’s ship The Crappy Tuna that explains the bad reception. Now that the “Double Dorks” are gone we can get back to groovy kitten.” Tenchi actually picked up on the girl vibe in the room, which was rare indeed in his case, sighed under his breath, and said, “I feel unlike the misguided little pickpockets, Patty has been handling her responsibilities admirably. Sadly the two vile-ettes here could not follow her example. I for one have to begrudgingly admit it makes her quite special.” Patty excitedly replied, “You’re the choiciest Tenchi!” Vic responded, “Ha! Begrudgingly my a-.”
Patty choosing to cut Vic off and being quite happy to get support for Sachi and Candy and not a veiled pick-up line, told the VCG, “You will be suspended, grounded, and sent to bed without dessert. But we want you to know that your ability to subjugate an entire city has been totally noted, and you are both exceptional and shouldn’t feel bad about Double Trouble. You’ll meet exceptional guys one day and will… find yourselves not caring about them. In fact, I think when you find those special guys, you’ll forget about the meanies and creepy ones too. Kylie added, “But girls, you should be aware other girls will consider those boys special too and probably won’t give them up without a fight.” Sachi feeling a little better and wiping away tears, replied, “We’re young, not stupid; stop talking about each other.” However, Vic and Lars had missed the boat and had no clue what was being said.

Vic said, “What special guys, us? Look all I got for ya is a .50 cent off coupon for my Sushi Spot restaurant.” Lars added, “No way ladies my money is for ME.” Tatyana replied, “Ugh! You two are so dumb it’s amazing.” Vic retorted, “Like we CARE what you goodie goods think!” Tatyana smugly ended the exchange, saying, “At least we CAN think.” As punishments were properly dispensed, Polly and Ann turned to the Kids Down Street, who thanked them for their help. Dmitri said, “You and Ann were great allies to have Ms. Tix. It’s too bad we have to say goodbye.” Polly and Ann were a little sad to know their adventures with the Kids Down Street were at an end. They exchanged hugs and personal email addresses.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 38
Tenchi and Kylie informed them that as a result of their exemplary actions in freeing Omsk, they would be granted access to the Gardens’ art and educational facilities. Tenchi said reassuringly, “So you’ll be in the same school system now kids. Try to study instead of socializing.” The KDS was thrilled to hear about learning from ACME detectives and couldn’t wait to tell their parents. Customary eye rolls from VILE affiliates were to be expected, but the kids’ over-enthusiasm balanced everything out. Team TKT told Polly and Ann to head to the airport for a return flight to them Romansburg. After bidding their friends farewell and receiving two final gift baskets of berries and cheese from Galina, Polly and Ann returned to their plane. The Kids Down Street returned to civilian life and began public speaking events at playgrounds, parks, playgrounds, public areas, and former Make Out Points. And in all, things returned to normal in the city of Omsk.

A very indifferent character was observing the Omsk situation purely out of boredom. He had escaped arrest simply by not showing up at the rendezvous location. He chose to be very careful with his decisions in that regard. It was one of the main factors that gained him his immense wealth. And what had it gotten him this time? Two distraught personal assistants named Lash and Frenzy. They were infuriated and quite bratty about the events that unfolded and demanded revenge… and shopping trips. Valmont told them he could provide both until their employers returned to them. LLP was away on business, and Koga Shuko was in prison, so not only did Lash and Frenzy feel upset that they didn’t feel pretty, and that was no good. Lash cried, “It’s not fair! If we’d have won we’d be ruling Los Angeles and everyone would have to give me gifts!” Frenzy was even whinier, shrieking, “I want chocolate and expensive things now, now, now!”

Luckily Valmont loved gifting as it showed he was a wealthy, successful tycoon. Of course, Tenchi would say he was a dishonorable crime lord, but he never cared what Tenchi thought. At least that’s what he kept telling himself anyway. It was him that had interfered with his plans and cost him a lot of money, and that was why Valmont considered him his main nemesis. As a result of going into other criminal activities besides enforcer training, his men increasingly encountered Tenchi. And so he knew to take Tenchi seriously, unlike the other Golden Lords who initially saw him as a temporary problem. Too late, they realized that due to initial encoders due to circumstances, Tenchi had decided to pursue them intentionally. This led to massive enforcer requests pouring in from multiple divisions and further lined Valmont’s pockets.

But that didn’t help him from losing more than he gained, and the only thing he could think of was to take a step back and let other bosses handle him. There was nothing wrong with waiting for an opportunity to arise, even though it came with risks. But in the end, he decided that throwing everything at Tenchi was a worse move than being patient. And in that, he ended up being correct, plus he acquired a special ally who gave support when needed. It was what allowed Valmont to survive as long as he had against Tenchi’s assault against Golden Corporation, as even the 700s were no match for ACME Detectives. But the Shadow Khan was a bit better, and they continually regenerated later when defeated.

This meant nothing to Lash and Frenzy, whining as sore losers tend to do. They just needed financial support and goons with guns to boss them around. Valmont assured them, “The Dark Hand will provide for you and can consider yourselves on holiday ladies.” Having heard this for the 50th time, Lash and Frenzy decided to actually listen instead of drowning out all other sounds with their whining, and they started to feel a bit better. Lash and Frenzy squeaked, “Yay!” And started to return to their usual devilish diva selves. But they were never going to forgive Carmen for thinking she was prettier, and after seeing Patty, they were even more determined to recruit her to their corporate cause.

Frenzy said, “Oh! It’s obvious why didn’t I think of it before? Just let her spend LLP’s money!” Lash quipped, “Why? So she can end up on a cereal box? If she wanted to be a model she would have auditioned already. Though maybe she doesn’t want to go through the… process of getting the job, tee-hee.” Frenzy replied, “Oh please you’ve seen how she looks she must get men following her around everywhere. She is just expecting to be asked to model as a true blonde would. And once we get her hooked on the finer things she’ll have to join us in order to finance her shopping sprees. Hahahahaha!” Lash, annoyed, demanded Frenzy stop laughing at weird times, only for Frenzy to respond, “I’m thinking outside the box dear. It catches people off guard and says “I’m different,” and I’ve even made videos teaching people to do the same!” Lash wondered why anyone would take those videos seriously and when she could buy new shoes.

Lying in bed after calling a sleepover and watching events unfold on tv, they were upset to see the bad guys lose in Omsk, but they had to worry about their own evil schemes. Frenzy wondered what schemes they had left as she said, “Didn’t our scheming end with Shuko’s arrest?” Lash answered, “Um I think we are supposed to care about getting that converter thingie, and Valmont works for the same guy as my boss. So maybe this can still end with my whip choking out that Sandiego wench.” Frenzy replied, “I’ll just have LLP run a negative promo campaign against her. Problem solved, now let me braid your hair.” As the braiding commenced, the Clockwork Train changed routes from the Golden Eagle and headed to Romansburg to continue the search for Syberia Island. Valmont would send The Dark Hand to observe from a distance as best they could.

The Peaky Blinders were on their trail as well though maybe that wasn’t as threatening as they would like to think it was. Maggie kept morale high as their losses kept piling up, and her handmade head bandages made all the defeated crooks feel better. In her cockney accent, Maggie cheerfully said, “Cheer up lads we just ‘ave ter stick together! Where we garn na Tommy?” Tommy could only think to follow Tenchi on that blasted train, and so the Peaky Blinders hopped in their cars customized for traveling on snow and ice and drove alongside the train tracks in the direction of Romansburg. Tommy blazing through the snow, half standing in his seat and driving like a maniac, yelled, “The bloomin’ Peaky Blinders will defeat ya Tenchi!”

As the train rolled into Romansburg, Team TKT and Kate Walker were eager to resume mammoth tracking. Kate felt she had come a long way since Valadilene and was glad she had met Tenchi, Kylie, and Tatyana to go along with Hans, Oscar, and herself on the journey. The plane carrying Polly and Ann had to land outside the town near the Clockwork Train. Once they had been dropped off, the plane returned to base while Polly and Ann headed into the train. Tenchi told them to be proud of their accomplishments in Omsk and try not to get in trouble around town. After exchanging customary raspberries at Tenchi, the girls headed downstairs from the train station to look at the town. But they saw the gate was locked and decided to wait on the grownups to fix the problem.

Having spoken to Oscar, Kate saw that coal was running low and chose to look for the coal loader. But it wasn’t working for some reason. Team TKT, having donned winter clothes, went into a nearby store on the upper level and saw a man inside. Kate seeing the machine that operated the coal loader was down on the lower level, knew she needed to unlock the gate, so she went inside the store to ask the owner if it was possible to get the machine working again. Looking around, she saw it was a typical local store minus any technology; even the cash register looked like it came from one hundred years ago. The owner was at the checkout desk behind the register and asked if they needed anything. He was a man of the state with a peg leg and a cane to help him walk more easily. Retired Colonel Emeliov Goupatchiev now managing a General Store in a cold Siberian town.

He told them he was the Guardian of the Imperial Marches and also the store manager, a fact the detectives had surmised quite easily. They figured he said that as a part of a rehearsed introduction, whether anyone knew who he was or not. However, a public address system cut off the introduction, saying, “Welcome to the city Romansburg.” Polly and Ann were outside and had either kept pulling the lever, carving initials in the gate reading, “P+D and A+N 4ever!” or pulling the handle on the coal machine just to keep seeing it do nothing. They saw a machine at the front of the train and went to curiously touch buttons. But looking down, Ann saw a girl walking below them. When they spoke to her, she said her name was Malka, and she, in proper child form, wanted candy. Feeling inspired, Polly and Ann finally went inside the store.

As they came in, they started to overhear the conversation and heard the Colonel saying he was in charge of the administration. Kate paying attention to what the Colonel was saying, suddenly heard from below, “We met a girl and she wants candy… we want candy too… give us candy.” Kate walked to an area past the Colonel and saw a broken candy machine and saw a key. Kate saw candy machines that she hoped were working near the door and headed over to them. Then she grew annoyed as she didn’t have any roubles or kopeks, just dollars and cents. But maybe…she thought to herself as she approached the machines. The machines all had drawers that could be pulled out, and checking them, Kate found… nothing in the first one, and then the second one came on… she said to herself as she pulled out the third drawer. Success! Petty cash! Kate used the money to buy candy for the girls she knew and the one she didn’t. The drawer on the third machine stuck open, but everything went great with the candy acquisition. That is until Ann suggested Kate should have just asked Tatyana for kopeks instead of problem-solving. But in that regard, Tatyana, having observed the situation, was happy to see Kate solve the problem herself in a way that showed her deductive skill.

Of course, Kate was happy to get the candy, and the unexpected legwork made her want it for herself. But she had prior promises from five minutes ago to keep, so after hearing the rest of the Colonel’s customary introduction, she headed outside towards the front of the train. She looked down to the ground underneath the platform they were standing on and saw a girl around Polly and Ann’s age. Kate asked, “Excuse me little one, do you know about the gate and how to get it open?” Under the assumption that sweets would rain from the sky, the girl simply walked off disillusioned. Kate seeing Oscar in the engine room, went to ask him when the train would be ready to leave. Oscar was quite annoyed at the thought of being there in the first place. But he said to Kate, “Oh Ms. Walker it’s such a bother, but the train needs to refill its coal car and has to be wound. The winding machine just has to be set up and activated but we’ll still be here since the coal dispenser is not functional.”

Realizing help was needed, Kate started the winding machine, positioned the shaft and wheel in the proper position, then began the winding process. Once that was done, all that was left was to get the coal machine working. Kate wondered why a windup train needed coal, but her growing experience in problem-solving made her understand there must be a reason for it. Going back to the general store, the Colonel told Kate the repairmen would take a week minimum to show up. Holding in a frustrated scream, Kate chose to use patience and go over her options. She realized the little girl below their location might know something and went to ask her. Seeing her walk by, she called down to her again. Malka replied she would give Kate the key if she gave her candy. Kate decided to toss down the promised treat, and in return, the girl tied the key to a balloon and let it float up to Kate. With a key and balloon in hand, Kate opened the gate and the gate on the lower end of the stairs as well.

Polly commented, “Hey! Why did the bottom door open for free? Oh well lucky us!” As they headed to the bottom, Team TKT left the store and headed in their direction. Kate saw Malka, spoke with her again, and learned that a man named Cirkos was taking care of her. When Kate inquired about the machine, the girl said, “The Bourgoff brothers could help but they probably won’t.” Kate saw that the machine needed fuel and hoped the Bourgoff brothers would help. Kate spotted a fuel can on the left of the machine’s generator, and of course, it was empty. So it was off to the Bourgoff residence, empty can in hand. There was a tavern along the way, and Kate decided to stop in to see what she could see. Inside was a quaint, warm, and inviting environment with a small stage for performances, though on the stage currently were mechanical horses.

The barkeeper Cirkos, Malka’s benefactor, welcomed Kate and Team TKT to his tavern to enjoy themselves and said that the horses didn’t work until they were fixed. Tenchi was disheartened to hear that, having seen they were invented by Hans. Since he was on the train, fixing them then was out of the question, but maybe something could be done later. As Kylie tried to console Tenchi and Polly and Ann asked to ride the horses, Kate and Tatyana went outside to see the Bourgoffs. When they reached the fence gate to their residence, Kate rang the bell. A figure on the other side pulled a sliding area back on the gate as he asked, “What do you want?”

Kate explained the generator situation only to hear him say they had no fuel. He promptly shut the sliding peephole cover, and Tatyana asked Kate how she felt about that. Honestly, she felt pretty defeated though she did hear a machine running, and as Tatyana let her do the thinking, she realized what that meant. “They do have fuel!” She exclaimed. Tatyana, nodding, replied, “Yes that they do, in fact from the smell of things I’d say it is the same fuel used for the generator as the fuel cans smell the same. I wouldn’t be surprised if they took it just to be selfish and cruel.” Kate knew more investigation was needed and looked for a way inside their yard along the fence.

Kate spied a poster sloppily covering a hole in the fence, revealing a hole they could crawl through once torn off. Once inside, they saw the yard looked like a typical mess with crates piled up everywhere and an open sheltered area with a fire going. This was a good thing since they could hide more quickly, but they came across a cage with a small white animal trapped inside. It was done out of cruelty, and Kate wondered if she should free it or not. The two brothers focused on doing nothing, which they preferred most of the time. The brothers Bourgoff were quite villainous-looking as Igor was a big lumbering oaf with the limited intelligence to match, while the shorter older brother Ivan seemed to be the brains for both of them, which still wasn’t saying much even in his case. Kate saw a fuel can sitting on a barrel next to the open shelter area and decided an idea forming in her head might just work.

She thought, “If I free the animal it could distract them.” When Kate unlocked the cage, the animal ran off, causing Ivan to chase after it. Not being very aware, Igor remained seated, and when Kate and Tatyana tried speaking to him, they saw words carved on the table. “VILE to the end!” Tatyana realized they had likely retired as VILE henchmen as she said, “Ah, that explains the striped shirts they wore under their overcoats and those masks hung up over there as keepsakes.” Kate added, “Not to mention their bad attitudes, why do VILE henchmen act like stereotypical cartoon villains?” Tatyana said, “It was self-fulfilling the lower level functionaries are upset that they are not given higher-level training and are mean and ruthless to compe; they. It’s a product of the selfish nature in VILE higher-ups they withhold knowledge and pit members against each other to find thieves who rise despite those conditions.”

Kate thought that was a terrible way to find talent but knew it had to give at least limited results. ACME used patience to try to bring out the best in everybody, which led to them having enough detectives spread around the world to go after VILE wherever they struck. But since VILE was a focused group of thieves, they simply went where stealing was needed and did not require a bunch of high-level thieves. Kate then got ACME and VILE members completely as she now knew highly skilled VILE operatives were specializing in specific skills based on what they were taught, and then as their reputation rose, they had the chance to get trained in other areas. Only the naturally talented could hope to make it through this selective process, with members who worked hard being very rare.

On the other hand, ACME trained detectives in everything and expected them to master it. It took longer in general, but hardworking members could rise just like the gifted members, which led to temporary skill gaps in VILE’s favor at the beginning with new members as they had learned only a few skills and mastered them faster. But as ACME continued training, they learned all they were being taught and closed the gap quite fast, ultimately surpassing the majority of VILE members. Kate felt this had to happen around the intermediate level, which led to a shocking conclusion. It was like a cartoon show in real life! Beginner and intermediate members would face off against each other, having wins and losses based on their skill sets. VILE members specialized skills would let them get away at first, but then higher-level members would come in to help either side, building further tension and drama. In the end, rival detectives would learn enough to catch their thieving enemies. Either through the usual way of chasing them down by outsmarting them or very rarely through combat.

“So the good guys win in the end.”, Kate remarked. “Mostly,” Tatyana said in response though she was clear to point out it was the dedication to training, and VILE combative masters could also beat ACME. It’s our approach to training, and who gets it all that is needed is the will to learn and work hard whether you are naturally gifted or not. Kate then felt that if you were VILE rank and file, you must have been surrounded by thieves with better training, and some would just project their hostilities on others. While it didn’t excuse their actions, Ivan and Igor were mean to others as they were treated meanly in VILE. They didn’t seem to resent the organization and were fine with their place in it. But Kate rightfully felt those in VILE must be a sorry bunch of crooks.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 39
She took the fuel and noticed the empty can she had shown, “Ivan and Igor,” scratched on the bottom. Kate, upset, said, “Those dirty crooks stole the generator fuel can and replaced it with their empty one! Of all the lousy, two-bit, rotten things to do!” However, Kate’s condemnation was cut short as they heard Ivan returning and quickly fled the scene. Once they were back outside the fence, they returned to the coal machine and poured the fuel into it. Kate pushed a red button which began a crank and readied the machine for operation. Kate and Tatyana went upstairs to operate the lever to put coal in the train. But as they were watching coal tumble into the coal car, Oscar came hurrying towards them. He told them Hans had disappeared suddenly and he didn’t know where to start looking.

Kate said, “Calm down Oscar he couldn’t have gone far we’ll find him while you wait here okay?” Kate went to the General Store to see if Hans was inside, but she only found the Colonel. She asked, “Excuse me Colonel, but have you seen Hans? He’s an old man with glasses and likes to talk about mammoths. I wanted to check here first before we went back downstairs.” The Colonel said opening the gate without permission was illegal, and the intelligent thing to do was wait on the machine to be fixed. But it was fine anyway, as he knew Malka was the one who gave them the key. Kate didn’t understand until he said, “You took the time to fix the candy machine and take the money I left in the drawer to buy candy with. Then you gave Malka her favorite kind otherwise she wouldn’t have given you the key.”

Kate starting to piece this all together, replied, “You knew the coal machine was out of fuel because the Bourgoff brothers occasionally steal it and anyone who wants to leave and not wait on the maintenance crew has to give Malka candy. Once they get the key they then have to find the gas downstairs and if they do all that they deserve to get coal. Honestly, this is ridiculously complicated for such an easy task.” The Colonel smiled and said, “Welcome to Russia devushka.” Going back downstairs, Kate and Tatyana saw Malka, who told them she had spoken to Hans before he left in the direction of the Tavern. Kate thanked Malka for all her help and went to the Tavern where the rest of Team TKT was waiting. As they entered, they saw that Hans had repaired the mechanical horses, and they were quite the sight to behold.

But suddenly Hans collapsed and had to be taken back to the train to rest by a very worried Team TKT. Back on the Clockwork Train, Hans had a fever and was a little delirious as he rested under covers In bed. Kylie told everyone, “He is repeating the same things over and over and that dumb bot Oscar can’t do anything other than state the obvious.” Kate hoping the General Store had some medicine, told everyone she was going there with Kylie to talk to the Colonel. But they were out of luck; the Colonel had no medicine to treat Hans and told them a monastery in the mountains could help him. But it was frigid on the way and up on the mountain even worse. Kylie said in her usual professional tone, “Don’t make me come over the counter, comrade. We already have warm clothes and just need medicine you goof.”

However, the Colonel made it clear that their warm clothes would not work. He told them people said the area was enchanted by ice spirits and only special clothing would protect against it. Kylie responded, saying, “Well that makes no sense but whatever, we are in Russia. So we take the Colonel’s clothes in the attic and use those.” The Colonel let down a ladder leading to the attic for the girls to climb up, and upon getting the clothes, they went back to the train to change.

The problem was there weren’t enough for everybody, and on closer inspection, Tenchi’s glasses saw they had a circuitry layer woven into them. Tenchi said, “Well this is interesting, the layer responds to the cold I don’t think it absorbs heat, but rather generates a field-based on a lower heat radiation signature that is detected. I think more investigation of the area is needed to confirm.” Polly looking up at Tenchi, said, “Stop being a smart guy, I wanna go there and build a snowman!”

Tenchi replied, “That will have to wait Polly we need more of this technology to make clothes for everyone.” Team TKT felt the converter could replicate the clothes, but they had turned it over already. Ann commented, “We should have been more greedy, now we’re stuck again.” Kylie informed them the converter was not theirs and belonged to the Voralberg family. And finding the source of the clothes would make more sense, given their location. So Team TKT went downstairs to the city and asked Cirkos for information. Cirkos said, “Those clothes come from the Youkols, a mysterious tribe that appears and disappears without a trace.” Tenchi said he saw members of their group at Mid Market, but they slipped away in the chaos.

Cirkos, nodding, replied, “Yes they do not like socializing and only appear to speak to people when it is important. But you do not need to worry where the clothes come from as they provide them and left them for you in that chest over there.” Kylie, relieved, said, “Well that was convenient they must be thanking you for what you did at Mid Market Tenchi.” Tenchi and Kylie felt a little flattered about all this complimentary gifting and went over to the chest and opened it. Everyone had a coat in their size but needed somewhere to change. They decided the train was the best spot and made their way back to it. After changing, they were ready to head toward the mountain monastery.

The way looked normal enough, but there was something off about the area. It was as if a field of some kind was acting on sentient life forms but not any plants or wildlife. As they made their way to the side of the mountain where the entrance was, Kate pulled a cord that rang a bell. No one opened the door, but a monk from up high looked down to see who they were. Kylie remarked, “Well that was pointless, can we call in a medical drop from Mobile Command now?” Kate felt this was not over yet and wanted to figure out a way to get inside. Kate looking determined, said, “I’ll go ask Cirkos for some advice!” And off she ran back to the Tavern only to hear from Cirkos that they needed a shroud and had to place it over Hans’s face to get an imprint. “All you have to do is ask my little Malka for help.”

Kate taking Cirkos’s advice, went to find Malka playing nearby. Malka gave Kate a token for the box at the bridge leading to the monastery. Kate saw the frustrations of a private eye loud and clear, nothing but the runaround. The lack of information meant having to double back to previous places and people once new clues and leads were discovered. But by gosh, it was exhausting! Kate dashed back to the bridge and saw the box; she inserted the token and took a shroud. She then prepared in frustration at what lay ahead, but it was for Hans. Racing back to the train, Kate placed the shroud over Hans’s face. “Just hold on Hans you’ll get better in no time.”, was all she could think to herself while the imprint was being made.

After that process was finished, Kate ran back to the monastery up to the bell cord. Before Team TKT could say anything, Kate rang the bell, but as before, the door stayed closed. Kate robotically continued down the path and came across a monk sitting near a pond. Kate asked him why the monastery won’t let them in, leading to the monk simply saying, “Because you are all wrong. You are pulling the bell cord too hard and it is frightening the birds; also women are not allowed inside the monastery.” Kate expecting further resistance, simply responded, “Ah, so your archaic rules are the problem then, gotcha.” Kate saw all the monk wanted to do was wash the clothes in the pond, and then she got another idea, “I’ll just disguise myself in one of their outfits and lightly ring the bell!”

Tatyana and Kylie decided to take Polly and Ann back to the train while Tenchi and Kate went in to see the Priest Healer. Kate waited until the monk was distracted by some birds, and when he chased after them, Kate took one of the outfits and put it on, then went back to the others. When Kate rang the bell correctly, the monk sent her down the elevator, making everyone realize the door wasn’t the way in. Once the elevator had transported them to the top of the tower, they inspected the room. They saw a machine to the left but knew not to fiddle with it; even though Tenchi wanted to, they headed further into the monastery to find the Priest Healer. They passed through a cemetery they thought at first was a garden and saw a gravestone reading 1895-1996, but there wasn’t a name anywhere to be found.

Next, they tried the library only to see rooms full of books and candles but no Priest. Upon exiting and heading into the chapel, they walked past a statue of a man holding a book which Kate couldn’t help but comment on. At the far end of the room, as they knocked on the door, a curtain opened, and the Priest Healer came into the room. Kate told the Priest that they needed his help to cure Hans, only for the Priest to remain indifferent. The Priest said they have a particular way of doing things and will not change their traditions for outsiders. Kate presented the shroud, and the Priest, trapped by his own words, said he would see Hans. But Kate knew that, saying, “Now we have to go back to the monastery elevator, down the mountain, and back into the city! I wanna cry now.”

Tenchi replied, “Save your tears, Kate, I already prepared for this. This is agent Tenchi Eddie come in.” Eddie responded, “Gotcha Tenchi sir, we’re commencing the airdrop.” A robot transporter was dropped down next to the Clockwork Train, where Oscar proceeded to help place Hans in the cylinder tube-shaped midsection of the machine lying down. The robot then sped off using its treads and reached the monastery in no time. However, the Priest refused to allow the mechanical abomination into the holy area. So Hans was taken out and brought up via the elevator to be placed in a room to recover. Once there, however, the Priest said that Hans could not be cured and to prepare for the worst. Neither Kate nor Tenchi were ready to give up and decided to help Hans themselves.

Kate got to thinking again while Tenchi detected an eavesdropper outside the room. Hans told them there was a monk named Alexei who studied with the Youkol Tribe, a mysterious group of people who, according to legend, lived in Siberia and to find him wherever he was. Tenchi caught the monk and told him to say why he was there. The monk nervously revealed that Alexei had passed away but had left a letter and memento for Hans, the Stained Glass Mammoth. When Kate opened the letter, she divulged a clue; “The key is in the light of the mammoth’s eye.” Kate said, “Well, it seems” The mystery of the mammoth eye” is afoot, my dear Tenchi.” It was true that the monastery had an unusual host of secrets to reveal, but Tenchi had figured out the cause of the cold. Tenchi said, “This is an ancient relic location, and something in the mountain is causing the cold field in the area around the mountain, and the monks here are wearing clothes that shield against it. I think I’ll go have a look in that room in the chapel again.

While Tenchi tracked down the source of the cold field, Kate returned to the monastery’s outside area and saw a brush with a bucket of paint. Heading into the monastery, she saw Tenchi returning from the room of the Priest Healer. Tenchi said, “Well the machine is buried deep in the mountain I believe people stumbled across the area and only those with special clothes were protected. So it led to a monastery being built here.” Kate replied, “That makes sense they couldn’t explain the phenomenon going on and decided it must be a miracle.” Tenchi told Kate that Alexei must have left clues as he was likely someone who realized the same thing. He studied science to figure out what was going on in the area.

Tenchi adjusting his glasses, said he must have left clues all over for information he learned about what was going on. Then at some point, he met Hans, and after many mammoth-based facts, both realized they were chasing things everyone else wouldn’t believe. So they dedicated their lives to figuring their personal mysteries out, and I think Alexei succeeded. We just have to find what he left behind, and we probably should start with those two paintings on the wall. Kate eyed the walls, saw two exact paintings of Saint Peter the Great, and, knowing his relevance to Saint Didacus, felt it was a great place to start. Tenchi’s glasses detected something on both in the same area; a blue book held by the Saint. Kate took the brush and bucket from outside, saw clear paint inside it, and proceeded to paint both blue books.

A secret code appeared showing ten dots, some white and others black, arranged in a circle with a holy cross in the center. Kate drew the code into her Techo, and Tenchi snapped a picture with his glasses. Kate then walked around the grounds back to the library, trying to find what it meant. But looking up, she saw a circular arrangement of ten candles hanging from the ceiling and a faint picture of a cross on the ground. Kate decided to wander downstairs looking for anything to reach the candles, like a ladder or a rope, but then she saw a long pole with a hook on its end and figured it must be used to reach the candles. Going back upstairs, Kate pulled the candle representing the code’s top. She then went clockwise, skipped two, and pulled the next two down. Then she skipped three and pulled the following two again.

Kate and Tenchi then searched the library for anything that was different and, upon reaching the documents section upstairs, saw a window was now open. Looking outside, Kate saw the town of Romansburg, and then she took out the stained glass mammoth. Once they had configured the panels in the glass properly, the light created a shadow of a mammoth on the other side of the floor they were on. Walking over to it, they both saw a circle on the wall that now was the eye of the mammoth, and when Kate clicked on it, a secret room opened. Inside they found what they were looking for; the Book of Alexei, the Youkol Relic, and notes and sketches from the frozen north.

Reading the book gave some interesting information as Kate stated, “Okay the book says there is a plant called the Scarlet Bramble which only grows on a tomb of one whose soul is at peace. It can then be used to make healing candles. I guess that means back to the cemetery then.” The two headed outside the library to find cutting tools for the bramble and acquired some nifty shears out of a wheelbarrow. They then headed into the cemetery to find brambles and unsurprisingly found the plant growing on Alexei’s grave. Once they had cut the vines and brambles, they took the herbs to the machine they saw near the elevator. The herbs and brambles were mixed with wax, creating an herbal candle to help Hans.

Kate, relieved at their progress, felt that, finally, they were getting somewhere. The machine was actually a stove and candle maker combined. The two put the herbs and brambles in a pot and turned the stove on; they opened the wax mold and took a wick from the supply there. Once everything had been heated to the proper temperature, they poured the herbs and wax into the mold and made an herbal candle.

They took it and the Youkol relic to the room Hans was resting, placed the candle inside it, and lit it. After a few hours, Hans fully recovered, and the three wanted to leave, but the monks weren’t about to let that happen. The Priest revealed who they were, saying, “Fools! We are followers of Zalmoxis! And after receiving his divine orders, you are to be kept here forever! Mwahahahahaha!” Kate and Tenchi feeling quite unthreatened, told the Priest they would be leaving when they were done investigating the monastery for mammoth clues. Kate wondered and asked the Priest, “Did you have to add that laugh at the end? It was really quite childish.” The Priest responded angrily, shouting, “Silence! Guards take them away!”
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 40
But the” guards” were just monks and weren’t really up to the task of doing anything in this situation. Tenchi and Kate mostly ignored them as they chose to follow them at a distance and yell if they thought they were going to go for the door. Tenchi remarked, “This is ridiculous. I feel like getting these guys tapioca pudding and shuffleboard sent down from Mobile Command.” Kate couldn’t help but laugh as their “captors” were all old men too weak to do anything but constantly remark how they mistrusted the young and able. As the three continued their investigation, they sometimes heard, “Stay away from my medicine!” Or “Stop walking so fast; we can’t keep up with you!” Needless to say, the monks were just background noise at this point though the three did decide to arrange for individuals to help take care of the would-be cultists and confiscate their relic technology.

Since the Priest Healer was stubbornly blocking access to the elevator, the three decided to leave a more fun way. Briskly walking back to the cemetery, the monks were left in the dust leaving the three alone to set up an empty coffin outside a hole in the wall. After they all got inside, they began sledding down the side of the mountain back to Romansburg. The rest of Team TKT was quite upset to hear of their fun ride back to town while they had to walk. However, Polly and Ann said they built a snow cult family to keep the monks company until the police arrived.

Having gotten more mammoth clues, the group decided to separate into two groups in preparation for what was to come. VILE was getting ready to finalize Carmen’s plan, and everyone and everything was resuming as expected, especially Carmen Sandiego. She, having returned, began her game once again and was waiting for Team TKT to show up; if they were good enough. Kate, Hans, Oscar, Polly, and Ann would sit this showdown out as Tenchi, Kylie, and Tatyana would go into Kukoboi and catch Carmen Sandiego. Patty was unbefittingly running behind schedule, and Carmen mysteriously didn’t seem to mind at all. Kneemoi had brought the meteorite stolen from Chelyabinsk and had been randomly floating around the fairytale kingdom ever since. Sarah Nade was releasing her new album “Fairytale Rock” and gave pre-release interviews to unscrupulous reporters who wanted the latest scoop.

Yin and Yang were two Chinese henchmen flown in to give a propaganda summation of the Fairy Nation’s victories. As children, they learned to speak in unison whenever they needed to drown out others making noise and became so adept at it that people would stop everything just to see it happen. They began their announcement by saying, “People of the Fairy Nation! Your princess has returned to you in glorious victory! The Golden Corporation tried to challenge VILE, and they FELL!!! The police and the spies tried to challenge VILE, and they police FELL, and the spies FELL!!! No power on earth can stand against us now! All hail our triumphant princess Carmen Sandiego!” The crowd began cheering loudly as they waited for Carmen to become the first Fairy Princess of the Fairy Nation.

Carmen had decided, for reasons unknown to most but were quickly figured out by some close friends in VILE, to extend Patty’s timetable on her heist. Patty took the unexpected news quite well and decided to go on a shopping trip. She had received a new credit card in the mail, and it said its limit was unlimited because she was so nice. While Patty was thrill-shopping, VILE was getting ready to possibly confront Team TKT. Vic speaking to everyone, said, “Those “dumb-shoes” probably won’t even get here! We could be going on vacation to Fiji.” The Contessa replied, “Don’t get ahead of yourself darling, Carmen’s game must be finished first. Though I wonder why I didn’t get a limitless credit card too.” Lars fearing someone else would get things instead of himself, quipped, “Oh please you have enough things already! More for me I say.”

VILE kept themselves posted on updates as Team TKT made their way to Chelyabinsk to track Kneemoi’s trail. Dee Cryption commented, “Hey! How’d they get there so fast!? I refuse to believe they’re playing fair.” Vic, frustrated with Team TKT’s success, yelled, “Gah! Send another VILE henchman to throw a knife at them! Where’s Igor and Ivan when ya need ’em!?” “I pretty sure they retired and may we never find better thugs than them.” All VILE members nodded in agreement at that statement as soon as the reason for Team TKT’s rapid progress in Chelyabinsk was apparent. While Carmen sat on her Cherry Fairy Throne, Kneemoi was floating around the royal hall, being her usual excited self.

Carmen asked the alien if she left too many clues, only for Kneemoi to say, “Yay! Carmen, I remembered what you said, “Be careful not to let those detectives know what you’re doing.” So I made sure to tell everybody else so they could know what I was doing Ms. Carmen. I made sure not to tell ACME anything.” Carmen rubbing her forehead in frustration, said, “……Well, at least you followed my orders precisely.” Vic, getting fed up, suggested, “We need to trade Kneemoi to ACME to give VILE the advantage pronto!” But everybody suggested that since Kneemoi had extraterrestrial connections, he was just trying to eliminate competition in the black market of space. While this was true, he still wanted things done about this major slip-up.

But that would have to wait as Team TKT had successfully gotten a warrant for Kneemoi’s arrest. That meant, finally, all the crooks’ warrants had been issued correctly, and the VILE henchmen were a little jealous as they realized Kneemoi, not being an earthling, couldn’t legally be jailed regardless of whether she was in a position to be arrested or not. Mostly cops just robotically put her in a jail cell for the sake of procedure, and Kneemoi would just leave when she felt like it, not fully understanding the concept of earth jail anyway. Why did the walls have spaces you could slip through unless they wanted you to? Earthlings must be willing to take punishment and leave on their own when they have enough. Of course, VILE wasn’t interested in jail and was making their exit options known as Team TKT was on their way to Kukoboi.

Many a thief left for safe houses, minus the henchmen proper, who had to remain and monitor the premises. VILE henchmen were on patrol around the clock, which most of them didn’t mind. There were fairytale-themed buildings and storybook objects strewn about the area. Sarah Nade and Kneemoi remained to help Carmen. Sadly their “help” wasn’t the best Sarah was focused more on her singing, and Kneemoi just wanted to hover around Carmen, oblivious to the situation. So as Team TKT came into Kukoboi, they had quite an easy time sneaking through the place. The townsfolk were doing their regular business and didn’t mind VILE’s new fairytale additions.

Tenchi, Kylie, and Tatyana were caught up in the moment of opposing worlds in Kukoboi. Known for its temples and churches, the town had become the home of Baba Yaga on the fairytale map, and now Carmen had made it the capital of the fairytale world. True to their educational form, Team TKT was happy to see the town bustling with tourists. Tatyana said, “The fairytale map is the best thing to happen since borscht was invented!” Tenchi added, “Definitely! So much tourism has come into the Siberian region as a result!” Kylie replied, “The fact that we have to go buy holy water and candles to enter the izbushka is so surreal.” The detectives traveled to Baba Yaga’s house, but one of the small children listening to their educational exposition followed them this time.

When Team TKT reached the library, she asked them if they wanted to read scary stories. They told her they would love to if they weren’t here to catch Carmen Sandiego. The girl wore an old-fashioned white bonnet and a lovely dress with dress shoes. And while Team TKT followed the clues, she followed them. They all headed to Baba Yaga’s house and saw a friendly face, Galina Lebedev, visiting Kukoboi to see the story-inspired attractions. They joined her at a table and finalized their plan while eating the famous Kukoboi pies and tea. Which was basically charge into the Fairytale Castle and catch Carmen, or at least it was the plan until they saw Sarah blocking the way. As she rocked the stage, the crowd of people dressed as storybooks and fantasy characters refused to move and, as a result, formed a barrier preventing Team TKT from getting through.

Sarah, between songs, would taunt the ACME detectives and make it clear her crowd shield was impenetrable. Team TKT, undeterred advanced above the crowd causing Sarah to sprint away over the crowd as well. Tenchi yelled, “Give it up Sarah! And come quietly!” Sarah, laughing, replied, “Bite me! I don’t go anywhere quietly!” After saying that, Sarah slowly lifted one hand and used her fan appeal to raise parts of the crowd forming a teeming mass of devoted fans, all trying to touch her or holding out things to autograph. Team TKT had to navigate the fans being raised as obstacles while trying to catch Sarah, which wasn’t easy. Galina had taken the opportunity to wander onto the stage and, seeing a free microphone, decided the best thing to do was talk about birds, much to Sarah’s annoyance.

Sarah screamed, “Hey that isn’t a hot mic you bird freak, So stop squawking!” But even Sarah knew that wasn’t going to happen. As Galina talked of feathered friends, Sarah smiling sinisterly and slowly walking back using both hands, started to cause the crowd to ripple like waves on the ocean as Sarah flung balls of fans in Team TKT’s direction. But the detectives were too quick for her and soon had her surrounded. Spinning around caused a fan tornado to keep them at bay while the fans enjoyed such an immersive concert experience. But try as she might, Sarah couldn’t stop Kylie’s aggressive charge forward, and even as Sarah yelled, “Crowd Requiem!!!” Sending a cascade of adoring fans at Kylie, trying to crush her, Kylie leaped over the cresting wave and began surfing down the fan wave on a concertgoer who simply yelled, “Greatest concert ever!” Straight toward Sarah, who was out of options. As Sarah tried to escape, she was caught by Team TKT and arrested.

As defiant as ever, Sarah said, “I give you ACME’s 3/10 for this arrest only because there’s three of you. Just plain LAME!” As Sarah was carted away, Team TKT learned the final information needed to get a warrant issued for Carmen Sandiego. Eddie and Delores radioed Team TKT with the good news saying, “All the information you sent in has been verified sir and Interpol is issuing a warrant for Carmen Sandiego!” Kylie said, “It’s about time we get to arrest that thief.” Kylie was slipping more into her professional cop mode, and maybe prior events between Tenchi and Carmen also had something to do with it. Carmen, true to form, came out to give a speech to her adoring fans, who noticed a lovely head of hair begging for a tiara to sit atop her head.

Carmen sitting outside on a throne atop stairs overlooking her subjects, began speaking to them, “Prepare for my reign as ultimate fairytale princess; and greatest thief in the world. ACME’s efforts to challenge my power will be futile, and they should figure out what gifts they will give me as tribute. Lee Galese and Judge R. B. Traitor were going to place the tiara on her head, coronating her as princess of the Fairy Nation. Paige Turner was holding the pillow on which it rested and was already imagining a new fairytale being told to future generations. Moe Skeeter was doing his best not to look like a bungling idiot and managed to take decent photos and videos of the moment. But having seen the red light of death in the battery icon, he was forced to nervously say, “Um,… the batteries are out….”

Lee Galese, angered and annoyed, said, “Then change them, you moron!” Everyone freezing mid pose waited for him to replace the batteries to resume the event. Once that awkward couple of seconds was over, Lee lowered the tiara slowly. But before the crown was on her head, a familiar voice could be heard saying, “ACME agent Tenchi put your hands up now and this can all end happily ever after.” Carmen holding back a laugh, replied, “Oh really well I’d like to see you try that Tenchi.” Kylie having enough of Carmen, stepped forward and said, “I am going to stop you, Carmen. Try not to take it too personally.”

Carmen motioned with a hand for the crowning to stop and rose from her throne. The chase was on as the thieves scattered about the courtyard. Kylie was on the back foot as Tenchi and Tatyana had no problem catching Moe Skeeter while Paige Turner and Lee Galese ran but to no avail. They were cornered by Tenchi and Tatyana as Yin and Yang leaped down from the roof, saying, “Prepare to face our Dynamic Attack!” Unfortunately for them, Tenchi and Tatyana were quite prepared with cable rope, and as the twins charged, they were caught and tied up in it.

Okay.”, Kylie thought to herself, “So she is good but so am I.” But Carmen was a little too good to catch until Kylie realized that could be used to her advantage. She deftly chased Carmen over a grated floor where a well of water was flowing under it.

Kylie pretended to be tired, and Carmen couldn’t help but mock her as she felt she had used too much energy to attempt to keep up with her. However, Kylie had dropped a device that would increase carbonation exponentially, and seconds later, the water erupted like a geyser engulfing them both. While Kylie expected this, Carmen certainly did not and was caught by complete surprise. Kylie grabbed Carmen’s hand with hers while the other half of the cuff she had fixed to her wrist clamped onto Carmen’s and said, “Carmen Sandiego, you are under arrest for multiple counts of stealing, robbery, and burglary.” Moe, being taken away, abruptly turned his head and said, “You mean they’re all different crimes!?”

As the arrested members of VILE made it clear they would not be sharing a cell with Moe Skeeter, Carmen simply ran towards a thin wire, leaving her hand behind, cuffed to Kylie’s. Seeing just a hand where a thief had been, Kylie commented, “Well that’s a little extreme… Oh, pity it’s a fake hand with a note in it. Dear Kylie, I commend you on your efforts to catch me and if you had been Tenchi; I might have decided to stick around. Better luck next crime. Yours truly, Carmen Sandiego.” Kylie let out a scream saying, “You are so dead Tenchi!” Tenchi nervously explained that he didn’t do anything scandalous with Carmen, to the suspicious stares of Kylie and Tatyana.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 41
Mobile Command hovered over Kukoboi while the Russian authorities came in to regain control of the town. This was mainly for image’s sake, as there were no VILE henchmen around by that point, but people liked watching a show. Team TKT wrapped up their transmission to ACME and received congratulations from a very pleased directors’ board and the Justices. All that remained was the original case of finding Syberia barring any unforeseen events. But if there was one man that would throw a wrench in Tenchi’s mission planning, it was Valmont. Having felt the time was right to reappear, he decided to play the role of brokering a financial deal on behalf of Lash and Frenzy. The Corp and Shuko Industries would co-finance The unlimited credit cards sent out to the unlucky citizenry.

Typically they would be handled by a single company, but Lash and Frenzy’s whining made it clear that their bosses would once again be burdened by their whiny whims. Lash exclaimed, “Finally I get what I want!” Frenzy added, “We always get what we want! tee-hee. “And they both wanted Patty to join them in evil doings. And there was no better way to hook the youth than financial dependency. Soon Patty would be theirs to mold in their image of vapid superficiality.

Patty, meanwhile, was shopping away until it was time for her heist. She looked at her watch, a Graff Hallucination Christophe Claret Margot hybrid that was the envy of the luxury world. Mostly because Patty decided to have them fused together after buying both in a move both controversial and daring, at least that’s what she told herself anyway. And maybe “buy” was used liberally when it came to the Graff Hallucination. Some would say “borrowed,” but at least she could purchase half her timepiece fashion idea with her new card. As Patty marveled at the immaculate timepiece now bejeweled with the Hallucination’s rainbow-colored assortment of diamonds sparkling in the light, she almost missed the report of VILE’s misfortune in Kukoboi.

She was saddened and, wide-eyed, exclaimed aloud, “This is terrible!” Then realizing people heard her added, “That it didn’t happen sooner!... I like kitties!” The kitten adoration being shared by most of those passing by ensured that Patty was safe from suspicion. However, Patty felt entirely alone, knowing her house had fallen to ACME. But being a sore loser is such bad form. Patty didn’t even consider it an option, and gosh, her new watch was pretty. She couldn’t help admiring it even during such sad times as multiple arrests. They would be fine anyway and as “It’s so sparkly.”, Floated through her head as she walked on playing, “He loves me, he loves me not” on her watch, she felt things would return to normal soon enough. Everyone would be back together at VILE HQ, and she would organize an “After Prison Party.”

However, an email concerning her spending habits popped up on her phone, and on reading it said, “Dear Ms. Larceny, your card spending limit has been reached and you are required to pay all of your balance and fees promptly.” Patty, shocked, replied, “Hey! This card doesn’t have a limit and I should have a month to pay anyway! Waaah!” However, the card Patty received, unbeknownst to her, was a card with an unlimited interest rate that could be set by the issuer to any number they felt comfortable with. Using this card led to massive bills being owed by the user, which was the point. Soon a black limousine came up, and out of it stepped Lash and Frenzy, who had been making their way to Patty’s location. They wanted her to return with them so they could help her pay her bills.

Lash, feigning sympathy, said, “Oh you poor little thing! We’re here to collec- um, I mean make you feel better!” Patty asked, “How do you plan to do that? Are you loan sharks?” Frenzy, upset their looks weren’t being considered in responses, quickly replied, “We’re sexy sharks!” After raised eyebrow looks from Lash and Patty, the conversation resumed with Lash telling Patty she could work for them. Patty said, “That’s so nice of you! But I’m in major debt to some companies named Robotics Munufact and Shuko Industries.” Lash and Frenzy told Patty that they could get rid of the debt in no time if she worked for them. Frenzy gleefully said, “We’re going to be promoting you as a model for The Corp honey that way you can learn the wonders of being mass-marketed!”

Lash replied, “You’ll be working for Shuko Industries too dear, being the girl all the bad guys want is so much fun!” Already well-versed in popularity, Patty wasn’t sure becoming publicly known for being pretty would be fun. She wanted to be famous for being a great thief, but a career of tv commercials and being in a mean girl club was being laid out before her. Patty needed help if she was going to avoid a life of shameless marketing schemes. Lash and Frenzy could care less about selling out and just wanted to advertise their respective companies’ products shamelessly. This gave them extra shopping money, and now they could form a group like everyone else. And why be a team when you can be a club, it was so much cuter! Of course, the only people doing that were ACME, KDS, and VILE members, but being exposed to team naming by chance made them want to do it too.

Patty found herself getting educated in shameless marketing and wasteful spending habits of Club FLP(Flip/Flop). Patty felt things must really be bad for everyone, and she wasn’t wrong to think so. The Corp had spent massive amounts of cash on 3A’s, their main robots, and Shuko Industries’ money was tied up in their business dealings, legal or otherwise. In short, cash was low when it came to evil deeds, and ad revenue helped compensate. Lash and Frenzy did remember that money was no issue for either company. But after suffering repeated losses to “the good guys,” most of the extra cash was gone. Lash and Frenzy were the first to notice this as their requests for expensive things started to be denied by their companies’ payroll divisions.

All was not lost as Lash and Frenzy plotted during sleepovers, deciding randomly endorsing sponsors’ products was the best choice to go with, mainly because they got to flaunt their looks. Lash reassured Patty, saying, “Don’t worry dear using the power of product placement we will have more money than we could hope for!” At this, Patty noticed drones with cameras filming them and realized there was a feed, so whenever Lash and Frenzy endorsed products, it was caught on film. Lash told Patty, “For example, if you really want shiny hair like mine use “Shuko Shampoo” it’s the greatest!” Patty replied, “Seriously? That was completely random, and you’re even posing with the bottle.” Regardless of how cringing this was, Patty saw that it must be done until she could be saved from this financial crisis.

Patty thinking fast, raised her wrist and said, “When I need to know the time I ask my friend Margot. She’s always there to help keep me on schedule, especially where boys are concerned. Margot helps me decide if a boy loves me or not. And I always listen to Margot’s advice.” Patty’s promo completely absorbed Lash, Frenzy, and everyone in hearing distance. To be sure, she had the “It” factor, but hopefully, someone she knew in ACME would be getting her veiled message soon. In the meantime, however, it was shameless plug after shameless plug worked into Club FLP’s conversations. Patty asked why their group was named Club Flop, only to be quickly corrected that it was Flip Frenzy clarified, “Flip not Flop! Because we will um, turn the tables on the good guys! Yay!”

Frenzy followed up her club promo by saying, “And Patty honey be sure to use Corpaste “The toothpaste of winners!” Not only does it give you shiny white teeth, but also lubricates all of your machine parts!” Lash explained to Patty that they would be a happy trio of blondes, and nothing could stop them from rising to the top of the pretty mountain, not even Carmen Sandiego. Frenzy added, “Yeah, she’ll be #2 or lower!” Patty wasn’t sure why they needed to oppose her boss, but she figured the usual jealousy was to blame. After recommending Shuko Flakes to brighten their breakfast mornings, they headed off to endorse various products for cash and establish themselves as the most fabulous girl group ever. And with a bit of luck, a certain someone would catch her commercial cry for help.

Team TKT ensured that the major work in Kukoboi was finished before transferring the rest to the Russian authorities. Mobile Command continued scanning the airwaves for any VILE-related news while Eddie munched on victory chips. Delores, messaging on the video screen, told him, “Eddie stay alert and eat healthier victory snacks. We gotta stay fighting fit after all.” Eddie replied, “Chill out D, you know I’m always thinking healthy.” As he said that while wolfing down a large handful of chips, Delores looked on helplessly as the only option next was slurping soda. Fortunately, Eddie was rarely such a pig with junk food. He indulges himself only after victorious final battles and maybe while successfully deploying booby traps during video security monitoring. Proud of ACME’s recent accomplishments, Eddie said, “After stopping VILE there’s no way well be seeing their faces anytime soon, so we shouldn’t be too worried about them.”

As his words finished being spoken, Patty’s promo about her custom Margot watch started airing. On turning his seat, Eddie saw Patty Larceny and immediately lost control of his snacks. While Delores found herself wanting a Margot watch, Eddie promptly forwarded the commercial to Tenchi. Eddie, radioing Team TKT said, “I think your gonna want to see this guys.” Team TKT saw the whole commercial, and while Kylie and Tatyana both wanted a Margot watch, Tenchi analyzed what was said by Patty. Tenchi sure more was being said than just an endorsement, replied, “I think Patty is calling for help guys.” Kylie and Tatyana agreed she was trying to send a message to them. But the reason wasn’t apparent until further investigation could be done.

Or Tenchi realized he could just go see Patty; it was strange that she wasn’t in Kukoboi with Carmen, and he felt something might be wrong. Calling Chez Acidophilus, Tenchi asked Dazzle if she knew anything. Dazzle said Carmen sent Patty away, but Lash and Frenzy trapped her in debt with an unlimited card. She felt that was the case as the grape-flavored yogurt vine said those cards were very suspicious. So if Patty had one, it couldn’t be good for her. Tenchi said, “And then suddenly she’s doing random luxury watch commercials.” Dazzled answered, “Bingo. It all adds up from what I’ve heard about the cards from my customers.” Tenchi thanked Dazzle for her help and began tracing the card’s transaction history, which was comedically easy.

Tenchi smiled as he realized what Patty had done. Like Carmen, she had left visual and audio clues, and even if he could only hear the ad, he could still figure it out quite quickly in this case. Tenchi said, “Glasses, Info-scan the Margot watch.” As the information started coming up, Tenchi already thought to himself, knowing full well that “There are only twenty Margot watches made by the designer Christophe Claret, and Patty had just bought one. So tracing the transaction history and her whereabouts should be very straightforward.” And sure enough, it was! Tenchi forwarded the commercial to Kate back in Romansburg, and while Kate, Polly, and Ann suddenly wanted a Margot watch, Hans smiled and said, “Kate, my dear, the game of gears is afoot!”

Tenchi felt the trace to a company owned by Valmont was both good and bad news. On the one hand, Patty’s watch was fabulous, and he had one to match; the “Poker Soprano” given as a gift from a grateful client was what he wore to subtly intimidate Valmont. He had found himself buying the “Blackjack,” a watch that lets you play a limited version of the game. And along with his bad attitude, he flaunted it everywhere he went. He considered it one of the things that would intimidate potential rivals. This was only effective against people he felt the need to personally visit to relive his early years as an enforcer known for his intimidation tactics. The details were paramount in the minds of people like them. Aside from the techniques that actually worked, they would convince themselves the personal things they did also worked to personalize the fear factor.

And so it was for Valmont, the enforcer turned leader of the Dark Hand who was highly feared and respected by his victims, until Tenchi, that is. He could deny his memories of the first time they “met” as they had already become aware of each other beforehand. However, none of his enemies expected him to personally show up and say hello. Valmont had no problem being hands-on with certain people, but Tenchi still didn’t care; it was like he was some random stranger. Tenchi accepted this could happen like he was a nobody. And that got to Valmont in a bad way when he tried to initiate an intimidation tactic; Tenchi would stop it cold, whether it was verbal, body language, or positioning, all the while being quite polite and courteous. But now it was Tenchi who would go see Valmont, and that wouldn’t be too hard except for the transportation to him. When Valmont wanted to be found, he was direct about where he would be.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 42
In this case, at a restaurant on the way back to Romansburg, his three main goons, Finn, Chow, and Ratso, were operating the helicopter, and on Valmont’s exit, Finn asked, “Hey boss this meeting is kinda anticlimactic. If you two start fighting do you want people to know you were defeated in Romansburg?” This was convenient as the Golden Eagle was getting ready to depart on the rest of the slightly delayed Trans-Siberian trip back to Ulaanbaatar. The next move by Tenchi was obvious, Team TKT would go back to Romansburg while he stopped to see Valmont. When Tenchi arrived at the restaurant, he walked over to Valmont’s table, who was not expecting him but grinned nonetheless at seeing him turn the tables. When Tenchi sat down, Valmont made a point to let Tenchi know what he thought of him.

Valmont began playing blackjack to himself on his watch to set the tone, then, eating his meal and occasionally sipping his glass of cognac, said, “The thief girl is indebted to the Golden Corporation, and I will not release her from said debt. You think you can always prove something, that you are so good, and everyone trembles at your very name. But you are nothing but a thorn in my side. I have effortlessly picked up the pieces of the mess you made. And when I think of you, I see you as something like a fly, a button, or dust on my bookshelf. All annoying things are easily removed, and as I have dealt with all of my enemies in time, so too will I deal with you and Kylie. So tell me, detective, what it is you see when you look at me?” This was said to lay all of Valmont’s cards on the table. He wanted to let Tenchi know he would oppose him, and it would take a very good reason for him to change his mind.

Valmont eyed Tenchi’s Soprano watch and had seen him act his usual professional self. Not a single thing had fazed him, and then Tenchi began to speak. Tenchi said, “I’m going to tell you a story Val. Once there was a wise scholar who met a troubled orphan boy and though he had a wife and children opened his home to him. The boy had been considered a lost cause by those who had known him. You can stop me if you’ve heard this before.” Valmont replied, “Oh no. Please carry on.” (Stop me if you know this one) (Valmont Oh no. Carry on).

Tenchi continued, “When this good man opened his home, the boy stole from him. The man forgave the boy, and when he failed in school the man showed understanding and patience. When the boy lied and cheated, and clawed, and fought, this good man showed compassion and love until the boy who never knew what love felt like; finally did. But then one night intruders broke in and killed the man and his wife. Authorities said small things were stolen something a child might steal.” Despite being unnerved yet hiding it behind an air of calmness, Valmont responded, “It’s a well-known story.” Tenchi asked, “They ever catch who did it?” Valmont playfully and smugly returned the question saying, “Did they?”

Tenchi continued, “Occasionally, the answer is right in front of you; maybe they were looking in the wrong places. [Speaking Russian] I think the boy killed them. Probably because he feared losing their love if they realized he wasn’t worth it. Everybody else had, so why not them too? And then he would be thrown out like a button or dust on a bookshelf.” Valmont trying to take control of the conversation, uttered, “You always struck me as a nostalgic man Mr. Masaki, and that’s astounding. I feel that emotion can only lead to weakness?” Tenchi continued unabated, saying, “The men I arrested your men, I gave them a chance and they made their decision. Now I’m doing the same for you.” Valmont sarcastically returned, “Thank you.”

Tenchi patronizingly replied, “Your welcome, Valmont now you let me know when you make your decision. You asked me what I saw when I looked at you. What do you see when you look at me?” Valmont clearly saw someone who was not in the mood to be trifled with, and whoever this thief girl was, she was obviously important, so he resigned to skulking back into the shadows. As Tenchi got up and walked away, Valmont decided to cancel Patty’s debt, and an upset Lash and Frenzy decided not to tell Patty just yet.

The major baddies were dealt with, and now the not-so-major ones trying to get to Romansburg. The emphasis was on trying, as the Peaky Blinders had learned, don’t go wildly driving into the cold Siberian tundra. Their car engines had suffered from the freezing temperatures and snowdrifts, so now they were walking into town. Tommy had it the worst as his insistence on open-air driving had given him a head cold. The only one in good spirits was Maggie, who had worn proper layers and was marching ahead of them all. As the rest were shivering into town, it was clear they would need rest and recovery time. Luckily the Colonel wasn’t new to incompetent tourists underdressing and welcomed them into a warming room; for a fee.

While the Peaky Blinders did their best to take control of the situation by claiming they were feared gangsters and to do what they said, it was all ignored by the Colonel. He decided it was delirium talking; who else would be dumb enough to bark empty threats from beds trembling from the cold. Maggie, however, being just fine and dandy, thanked Emeliov for his help, much to the chagrin of Tommy. Team TKT was called in to visit them as Emeliov felt they could contact their tour group they must have gotten lost from. He said, “It happens all the time foolish tourists decide to wander off and get lost from their group so we had to set aside this place to help them if we find them in time.” They all saw it was the Peaky Blinders, and Tommy sneezing away, did his best to tell Tenchi, Achoo! Your ours na fools! We’re gonna- Achoo! Make ya pay a big nickel and dime[time]! Where’s my chicken Loop de Loop[soup]?”

Kylie looking at Emeliov, said, “Take care of them while we go mammoth hunting it’s only going to get more treacherous from here and they already got in enough trouble.” Tommy interjected, “But not as much as you’ll be in. We won’t George Best[rest] until we’ ave the chuffin’ converter and our revenge!” On running into the room, Polly and Ann saw the scene unfolding and said, “Hey it’s the Dummy Gangsters!” Tommy, upset, yelled, “We’re the bloody Peaky Blinders ya brats and soon ya will kna our wrath! Achoo!” Polly returned, “Well you should be called the Dummy Gangsters and we don’t have time to play anymore. Hans needs mammoths so we’re going to find them.” Tenchi told Kylie, “Once they get better they can return to England.” Tommy continuing his empty threats, said, “Once we get YOU, we can return!” Team TKT ignoring Tommy’s whining, discussed the situation further.

Tenchi said, “The Golden Eagle is going to depart today while we can go into Siberia to find the Youkol Tribe. Maybe they know something about Syberia Island.” Tommy acting more like a sick child, asked, “Is anyone listenin’ ter me?” Kate agreed that was an excellent place to start and felt delving into the Siberian secrets was a great way to get experience. Everyone agreed on the action plan and began to go over the supplies they needed. Eddie told them all equipment would be delivered within the hour while Tommy said, “Aw your plans will be for nuffin’! And your ignorin’ me is ‘urtin’ me feelings.” Maggie, having enough, sternly said, “Oh for Pete’s sake be quiet Tommy! Cant ya clock[see] they’re busy tryin’ ter help Hans and ya too?” While Tommy didn’t want to admit it, he was not in a position to do anything the least threateningly. But thinking fast, he said, “Ya fin’ [think] you’ve beaten me but your Pete Tong[wrong]! Our Maggie will Scapa Fla[go] wif[with] ya[you] ter[to] stop… whatever it is your doing. Ha! (Cough!)”

Ann, concerned, said, “Quick! I think he’s really sick he’s not making any sense!” Maggie laughing cheerfully, replied, “It’s okay ‘oney![honey] Tommy speaks cockney accent English loike[like] the bloomin’ George Best[rest] of us! ‘e said I’m garn[going] wif[with] ya ter[to] ‘elp[help] ‘ans[Hans] while they get better ‘ere!” Polly, having enough, said, “…Tenchi! What are they saying!? I thought I knew English, but I can barely understand them!” Tenchi replied, “You know English Polly but not English English.” Polly said back, “What’s the difference?” Tenchi told her, “You’ll find out when you use your Techo notebooks to translate Maggie’s words from here on out.”

Or in short, this was an opportunity for cultural lessons to be taught firsthand. Whenever Maggie or any of the other Peaky Blinders spoke, for that matter, it would be translated by their notebooks, and with good listening, they wouldn’t need those for long either. Ann said, “Hey, I can see a chat log of the stuff they said. There are meanings of the words inside these “[ ]” thingies. So when she called me “‘oney,” it says it means honey!” Kylie said, “Well if we’re done tearing down language barriers and hearing Tommy whine, we can go now.” While all the Peaky Blinders were out of commission except Maggie, there wasn’t anything more that could be expected from them for the time being.

Maggie was thrilled to be going along on a “nice cold trip,” as she referred to it. Ben wished his sister well in her travels, and he and Tommy would be well soon enough. Tommy made clear that the converter would be theirs and to watch out for the return of Ben and himself. And so, after another challenge from the Peaky Blinders was easily overcome, Team TKT readied for their search for the Youkol Tribe. Kate was very much in agreement with Kylie’s ongoing, but as they headed outside, they heard the train leaving the station! Apparently, Ivan and Igor also wanted to go on a trip, just not with Team TKT. Ivan had decided, why just steal the town’s gas when you can also find mammoth ivory. All they needed to do was find Syberia Island, and it would all be theirs!

They just had to find it, and a free train would do nicely to assist them. Kate, however, wasn’t having any of it. Apparently, more and more detective initiative was rubbing off on her. And along with her resolve to solve problems when they came up meant, Kate was quick to pursue them. She eyed a gang car but saw that it was powered differently, unlike a regular one. Emeliov told Kate the gang car was powered by a Youki, an animal that ran around the area. Malka brought the furry creature up to Kate, who saw it was a part seal and bear with dog-like features. Kate had never seen an animal like it and saw it was pretty friendly with everyone. Team TKT having air support, wasn’t too concerned about getting the train back. But Hans being on the train created a potential hostage situation.

They decided it was best to discreetly go after the two crooks and monitor them from Mobile Command. Kate decided to go after them directly and quickly hopped on the gang car as the youki ran inside the large hamster wheel and began powering the gang car, sending Kate speeding down the railway tracks. Mobile Command had reported excellent news: the bridge the train was traveling on wasn’t stable enough, and it collapsed under the weight. Ivan and Igor, driven by endless ivory, wandered into a cabin nearby and, seeing a snowmobile, stole it without a second thought. However, Hans was quite adamant about all the rampant theft he witnessed. He tried to reason with the two crooks, but they ignored him completely. Team TKT called Kate and said they would rendezvous at the train and work on lifting it back onto the tracks courtesy of Mobile Command sending cables to hoist it up.

Kate knowing the train was soon to be returned, focused on tracking down the now-stranded thugs and making them pay. Once the gang car reached the stop point in the forest, Kate let the youki out and saw it dash off back to Romansburg while Kate headed in to see the collapsed bridge. Kate saw; fortunately, the engine car managed to make it across, but the passenger car had fallen into the shallow river ten ft below. Kate was concerned significant damage had been done, but once Team TKT arrived, Tenchi assessing the scene, saw superficial issues that could be fixed. Oscar was a little worse for wear but would be fine. Relieved, Kate continued into the woods and came across the cabin. She saw no one was at home but did notice the snowmobile tracks.

As Mobile Command lifted and repaired the train, Kate relayed that the only clue was the snowmobile tracks heading off into the distance. Tatyana informed her the thieves most likely took the snowmobile along with Hans, which means they think he knows where Syberia Island is. Oscar was reactivated and quickly started up the repaired train. Team TKT told Kate they would be coming along the tracks shortly to try to find other clues to the thieves’ whereabouts. With closer attention, Kate scanned the cabin and saw it was well-built. There was an outer area leading down to a lower floor overlooking a river. Walking out onto the balcony, Kate realized it was a relaxing fishing area with a lovely view. The cabin proper, therefore, was actually a multi-floor dream house with owners who mostly lived off the land.

Kate wondered if leaving city life meant living in a place like this. But she had to stay focused on finding Hans. Kate saw that the home was not ransacked, and knowing the Bourgoff brothers meant they didn’t search the house for things to steal. She knew what they hadn’t done, but what did they do? “Ah!” Kate realized they had to have found the keys to the snowmobile, so where were they left? Kate looked around and saw a wooden plank with a row of hooks on the wall. The house keys were gone, most likely with the owners.

But Kate saw a hook was missing and, looking down on the floor, discovered it lying there. “Hmm.” thought Kate. “They must have ripped the keys off, no Igor did. From the height of the hooks, Ivan would have trouble reaching, let alone the leverage needed to dislodge the hook. So it seems Ivan must have ordered Igor to get the keys, and Igor yanked too hard.”

A picture frame was askew, and Kate realized from the unsettled dust it had recently been moved, most likely by the Bourgoffs. It showed an image of a strange statue, and Kate had a hunch this was where they were trying to go next. She quickly wrote a note to explain to the owners what had happened and how to contact ACME, then posted it on the outside of the entrance door and left. Outside waiting was Team TKT, who was happy to see that Kate had figured out everything again. Kate told everyone the Bourgoffs were on their way to a statue nearby, and it was decided to pursue them by train. All supplies they needed were airdropped courtesy of Eddie and Mobile Command. Oscar had fully prepared the Clockwork Train for departure, and they headed off.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 43
Polly and Ann were happy to be back on the train and continued looking around for anything the brothers VILE might have taken. Maggie was quick to put a kettle on as Polly and Ann began asking her all kinds of questions about the Peaky Blinders. Kylie asked if weren’t they searching the train for signs of theft only to hear back that, as consummate Jr. Detective professionals, they deemed the train secure. Maggie informed the two that after her famous tea, they would feel “Snug as bugs” and let the grownups deal with the thugs. Maggie knew all too well their type; desperate and bitter. Once they got an idea to take something they felt entitled to, anyone or anything that got in their way would be in danger.

Polly and Ann felt Maggie was really nice for a felon which caused a laughing fit to erupt Maggie. She said, “The chuffin’ most we’ve ever been is shady loves. Tommy tried to up the ante but it Scapa Fla[didn’t go too well] courtesy of Tenchi and Kylie at Mid Market. We only got that red jewel cause Tommy told the peaky’s ter[to] charge and while they were busy gettin’ flogged; we got out wif[with] the stone. They didn’t expect us to attack loike[like] that since most wouldn’t have, but Tommy is Tommy.” It went without saying the Peaky Blinders were bad at being bad, but maybe a little practice would pay off eventually. But for now, the adventurers were out to save Hans and stop the Bourgoff brothers.

They tracked them to the statue, which was quite large. Kate confronted Igor, who it seemed wanted to go home. Igor told Kate that Hans disappeared shortly after they got to the statue and all Ivan talks about now is ivory. While inserting an earpiece, Kate let Igor know Ivan would answer for what he did, but that was easier said than done.

As Maggie feared Ivan wasn’t in the mood for talk and after Kate approached the statue’s base, he ambushed and trapped her. Ivan said, “You think you can keep me from my ivory!? Well, I think it’s time for you to meet a sticky end.” On saying this, he pulled out a knife and lunged at Kate, but the ice beneath her began to crack. Kate fell underground as Ivan failed to escape and was also sent falling into the depths below. Team TKT hurried toward the scene and lowered themselves down with ropes to the scene below.

Down on the ground, Kate woke up in a bed; looking around, she saw it was someone’s house. The lady told Kate her name was Aqakuktuq and said she was walking along when all of a sudden, she saw Kate had fallen into the snow. She realized Kate had fallen from above since large ice pieces were scattered around. She took Kate home by calling her friend Panan and the village chieftain, who started nursing her back to health. Of course, people were more curious these days and wanted to see the outsider. And as a result, they started calling her Aput Arnaq, “The Snow Woman.” She said it was done in jest as she had prayed to Asiaq for good weather and then came across Kate. Kate said it was charming, but there was an ivory-crazed maniac named Ivan Bourgoff, who was a dangerous thief looking for trouble.

Aqakuktuq laughed and said there was nothing to worry about; the village men hunt polar bears for sport, so they aren’t worried about some local criminal. He, like Kate, was an outsider and would be easily spotted when he showed up. Kate wondered why she could understand Aqakuktuq, then remembered her Hobonichi Techo was doing translation duty and sending the words to her earpiece. She asked how the Youkols knew about Ivan and Igor and was told the Youkols were everywhere watching the world. And they were wary of those seeking the red jewels, not ivory. Kate responded that those in the Golden Corporation wanted them but didn’t know the full extent of their power.

The tribal council had mentioned them along with the Peaky Blinders. Both were of no concern; however, the Peaky Blinders had gotten a red jewel, and the Youkol Tribe wanted it returned. Kate asked if a man named Hans was in the village, and before she could finish her question, Aqakuktuq told her he was in the Shaman’s hut with Panan. Kate thanked Aqakuktuq for her help and left to see the Shaman, and as she came outside, she saw the village chieftain, Nootaikok, who told her he was happy to see her well had informed the Shaman to expect her. As she walked onward, Team TKT had descended and had been speaking to the villagers about “The Snow Woman.” On seeing the village from a higher vantage point, they saw it was more like a city, a true sight to behold. Tenchi jokingly lamented they didn’t have this stop on the Trans-Siberian tour, only for Kylie to jokingly counter him, saying the Youkols could chuck their spears at random tourists for a more thematic effect.

Kate reunited with her friends, and they all headed towards the Shaman’s hut to see Hans. When they got there, they saw him lying in bed, being taken care of by Panan. The Shaman named Arnaaluk told them he would get better soon, but until then, they would have to wait. Tenchi’s glasses, and his Globe for that matter, were going crazy as relic readings went off everywhere. Tenchi realized what was happening; the golden blip on the Globe marked a spot, in this case, Youkol village. But to see all the relics, you had to zoom in. This unlocked a feature where the entire village was displayed on one hemisphere of the Globe, giving them a detailed map with all relics marked accordingly.

Tenchi saw relics were the norm here, and the people didn’t think much of using them in everyday life. The villagers were using the relics and so had to have a basic understanding of them. So Tenchi decided to go around town to talk to people about the relics to start cataloging their functions. Hans was lying in a bed that was really a relic apparatus that was putting him in a kind of stasis and healing him, but he still wasn’t waking up. Kylie would follow him and keep him out of trouble while Maggie explained to the council that the Peaky Blinders gave the jewel to ACME. The council member Ahna informed them that all was well as the council had decided the jewels must be protected from Zalmoxis anyway.

Tatyana wandered around until she came across a large boat frozen in ice and, knowing that was something that didn’t happen very often, inquired about it. The keepers of the boat, Amaqjuaq, and Amaruq told her it was a relic being misused that caused the boat to end up that way. They said it was a shame, too, as it was supposed to lead the chosen to Syberia Island. Tatyana’s eyes widened as she exclaimed, “Bozhe moi!” She knew she had to tell the others about this, but there was nothing they could do to melt the ice just yet. Kate had learned from the Shaman that special items would be needed to hasten Hans waking up. So she had decided to gather the things needed from around town and saw they mostly were all relics which made sense. However, there were plants, bones, and other things that sure didn’t. When Kate called Tenchi, he informed her that the organic materials most likely contained things needed to power the relics, like a lemon powering a lightbulb but way more advanced.

This news still didn’t thrill Kate, who had to catch twitchy bugs and put them in jars. Once the yuckiest part was done, Kate gathered the needed things and returned to the Shaman’s hut. The adventurers went over what they had seen around town and realized there were train tracks near the frozen boat. Kate called Oscar and told him to bring the train into the village and park it at the end of the tracks near the frozen boat. Oscar said he’d arrive as soon as possible to begin the procedure.

Confused but knowing Oscar had his reasons for saying that, Kate ended the call and finished arranging everything the way the Shaman wanted. The Shaman Arnaaluk told them only one could enter his dreams, and if they reached him in his dreams, he would immediately awaken. Kate and everyone else looked at Tenchi to get the scientific answer. Tenchi put on the spot said if they read his daily lessons on things, they would know this already. Polly said no one reads those cause they’re boring and to make them more fun. Ann, however, thinking about the lessons she had been reading, said, “Tenchi is it like a simulacrum?”

Tenchi, happy to hear such a question from one so young answered, “Exactly Ann! a digital simulacrum caused by the relics virtual simulation software. Whatever Hans is dreaming will be represented in digital simulacrums and whoever volunteers will have to navigate cyberspace in order to reach Hans in his dream which will most likely be a digital simulation created based on the biometric data of Hans that the relic analyzes.” Polly wanted to know why her Techo didn’t auto-translate the words that came out of his mouth. Tenchi told her she would find that out after reviewing the instruction manual and the lessons she was given.

As Polly yelled an adorable “Boo!” Kate volunteered as she decided to take responsibility for Hans. Kate laid down on a similar bed, and Pana finished preparing the items she had given him. Kate fell asleep as the relic beds began to emanate golden energy in a circuit board pattern, and when she awoke, she found herself in a cave in Valadilene, Hans’s hometown. “Oh boy.”, Kate thought to herself as she grabbed a mammoth doll she saw and began to wander the path leading into the city streets of this digital recreation. There were no signs of people except a woman standing in a courtyard. She introduced herself as Kate Walker from New York when she got closer. The young woman said she was Anna Voralberg, and they began to talk about all the things that had happened.

Kate was told that Anna’s father was Rudolph Voralberg, and he owned the Voralberg Factory. When Kate asked about Hans, Anna was reluctant to say anything and told Kate her father would be at home at this time and visitors weren’t allowed in the factory. Her brother Hans was sent to the attic after he had an accident, and Anna was told by her father not to speak of him, but she still loved him. Anna said her father goes to the factory at 7:15 and complains that Hans makes automatons without “Discipline or purpose” Luckily, Kate had already been to Valadilene and knew where the factory and Voralberg mansion were located. She hurried towards the gate to the Voralberg estate and went inside, turning right at the series of paths leading to the factory, garden, or mansion.

It was as if she had just been there; everything was where it had been decades ago, and she had to keep telling herself this was the past Valadilene of Hans’s childhood. As she entered the mansion, she walked into the first room on the right and saw Hans’s and Anna’s father, Rudolph Voralberg, sitting on a couch. She said hello, and Rudolph assumed she was the new chambermaid and to wait for him to return for instructions. Kate said she was not a servant and was a friend of Hans, only to be told by Rudolph that Hans has no friends. It was clear that Rudolph wouldn’t allow Kate to see Hans claiming the boy that was once his son now only cared about being a misfit and making strange inventions.

Kate said goodbye to Rudolph and entered the hallway, where a grandfather clock was ticking away. Kate figured it was worth a shot and began to set the clock to 7:15, but it was broken. Sighing, Kate saw the time on another clock and set the grandfather clock to 3:15, hoping it would work. “Come on… Yes, it worked!”, She thought as she set the clock to 7:15. An alarm started ringing as Rudolph sprang up and headed for the factory. Before leaving the room and bidding Kate farewell, he left something on the table.

After taking it, Kate re-entered the room and saw it was a key, and headed for the attic. Kate unlocked the door and entered to find a small boy standing at a desk. When she called him, he refused to answer and, as Kate remembered, took the mammoth doll and showed it to him. Hans immediately took it and asked if she had come a long way to see him. Kate, laughing, replied, “Yeah you could say that.” Hans suddenly changed into his adult self and said, “I am tired, Kate Walker. I will never see the island of Syberia or the great mammoths.”

Kate told Hans not to give up and that they would see Syberia soon enough. Hans changed back into a child and asked Kate if she thought automatons were made to help people when they needed it. Kate told him that she did as he kept changing from child to adult versions. Hans told her as a child that she had to open Oscar’s heart if necessary. Kate was a little confused by this but felt she would figure it out when the time came. Then suddenly Hans was gone, and all Kate saw was a mechanical heart on the desk. The heart opened when she touched it, revealing a glowing golden light covering the entire room.

Kate awoke and saw Hans suspended in midair by the relic bed he was in, and suddenly he woke up as well. Kate told everyone that she had to awaken Oscar’s Heart when the time was right. Maggie said, “Trust in the chuffin’ glamour Katie, and ya [you] will kna [know] chicken pen [when] ter [to] act.” Kylie replied, “This is all very mystical but since Oscar is at the frozen boat, Hans is awake, and that idiot Ivan is still out there somewhere, can we go now? I gotta get the Youkol ice cream I bought in the fridge before it melts.” Kylie’s level head was right as usual; they had mammoths to find, so once everyone was ready, they headed to the Clockwork Train to see the “Procedure” Oscar was talking about.

Hans built the train with this in mind as they saw it transform into a mode to melt the ice. Tenchi, quite impressed, wanted to know how long this boat was on the ice, only for the village chieftain Nootaikok to tell them for almost two centuries. Everyone climbed aboard as the Clockwork Train melted the last of the ice. All except Kate, who needed to look at Oscar and find his heart. Oscar said it was for Hans when he needed help, but someone else had to activate it.

Kate began to understand the chosen one thing she had met Hans and managed to get here, and no matter what obstacles they encountered, they overcame them. Now Kate had to figure out how to access Oscar’s heart and saw a panel after opening his chest panel. It had a shield-shaped emblem with buttons arranged in a circle and arrows coming out of the center pointing to each one. “And here we go again.”, Kate thought as she tried to figure out which buttons to push. Then she remembered the time of 7:15 and pushed the seventh and fifteenth buttons. Then, a catholic cross-my-heart pattern of north, south, east, and west.

The lock opened, and Kate received the Voralberg Key and, with it, the ability to open Oscar’s heart. Oscar was quite pleased with Kate as she allowed him to do what he was built for. Afterward, Kate and Oscar got onboard the Ark ship and disembarked. The Youkols waved farewell as they sailed into the distance, searching for Syberia.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 44
The trip was very serene… and cold, but the team had been through enough adventures to go over to pass the time. Suddenly the boat ran aground on Penguin Island as Polly and Ann yelled, “Yay we’re there already!”. No one wanted to think it was that easy except Polly and Ann; looking overboard, they saw they had sailed into an island with many penguins inhabiting it. The team went to the Ark’s lift and lowered themselves onto the island to investigate the situation. Kate walking towards the north, came across the bones of a narwhal. Kylie radioed Kate saying, “The ship’s anchor is stuck over here to the south of your location.” Kate replied, “Copy that, Kylie I’m on my way there now.”

Kate figured she should take something to help with the anchor, but all she saw were bones. After taking a bone, Kate returned to the ship and the south, where Kylie was. She saw Polly and Ann playing with the penguins and marching in single file. They stopped in front of likenesses of the Peaky Blinders and began throwing snowballs at them for fun. Meanwhile, at the scene of the anchor, the team was doing more sightseeing than anchor removal. Kate walked over to the anchor and tried to lift it, but it was far too heavy. So Kate tried to leverage the anchor with the bone she grabbed and found success as the anchor dislodged and gave way. The team headed back to the Ark, but when they got there, they saw it was being hijacked by Ivan! He planned on getting to Syberia by stowing away onboard and now was taking control of the Ark!

Kate hurried to find a way to get to the ship without wasting any time. The penguins were quite upset about this, too, as they gathered at a certain point on the island. Kate noticed ice that had broken away was flowing towards the Ark and stood where the penguins had been as they returned to their nesting area. The ice cracked, and Kate used the Narwhal tusk to break away from the island and drifted on an ice floe, slowly making her way to Ark. She entered through the door on the lower level and had to get up to the top deck. She saw a picture of a man riding a mammoth with symbols next to the drawing and a barrel barring a doorway. Kate made a note of the picture and symbols and headed for the blocked door, where after moving the barrel, she saw Oscar.

He told her Ivan was standing around on the deck and not doing much else. Kate searched the area, climbed up a ladder, and found an ivory hook which she took back down with her as the rest of team TKT were making their way into the Ark. Kate saw a lever that she realized would move a beam up above, but first, she needed to affix the hook to the metal attachment and then tie the rope laying nearby. Now all that was required was patience, and when Ivan moved into the correct position, Kate pulled the lever causing the beam to suddenly swing, knocking Ivan overboard. Ivan screamed as he fell into the freezing water and climbed onto an ice floe. He had been defeated by Kate and was finally out of the team’s hair for good.

Ivan began cursing the team as he floated back to land. With time he would float back towards the Youkol Village, and they would deal with him as Mobile Command would monitor him and fish him out of the sea if need be. Eddie and the rest of Mobile Command would love to go further, but some strange force was draining the ship’s power. If they didn’t turn around, they would fall like a rock. Eddie discussed options with the crew about simply sailing on the water like the Ark was, but they still had to monitor the situation in Siberia. Eddie and Delores wished Team TKT Godspeed and said they would go by sea if support was needed and to be careful out there.

Kate was thrilled that the Bourgoff brothers’ threat was over and done with. And Team TKT. Made Kate aware that she would be recommended to ACME Detective Agency for her sterling work in the field. Kate had a hunch they were intentionally staying out of the way to let her solve puzzles and find ways through or around obstacles. But she didn’t think this could be one of the reasons, but they assured her that she had what it took to be a detective if she wanted to. Kate decided to put another career profession on her bucket list as the ship sailed towards an island in the distance.

As the island got closer, everyone saw it was, at last, the island of Syberia. Unlike the frigid scenery they had seen up to this point, it was warm and lush with plant life. It was as if they were closer to the equator instead of the North Pole. As the ship stopped at the dock, everyone saw a series of ancient fortifications and realized they were connected to the Youkol Tribe. Hans hopping in the air and clicking his heels together, was overjoyed by finally reaching the fabled land. Maggie was happy to experience a tropical climate after all that frosty chilly air. Team TKT felt investigation and exploring were in order, as well as keeping a sharp eye on Polly and Ann, who were looking for the first opportunity to run off.

But of course, the team’s adventures wouldn’t be complete without token opposition from old friends. They had managed to get better and pursue Team TKT as they always had. Even reaching the Youkol Village didn’t deter them as they simply built a boat and sailed after Ark. Though they did find it strange that a man was sitting on an ice floe and exchanged looks saying, “Yeah we know we’re going to lose, but we’re on autopilot at this point” with each other. They had managed to get past Penguin Island and wondered why penguins were enthusiastically throwing snowballs at them. They finally came into Syberia Island dock next to Ark., And as they crept in the bushes, they planned their ambush against Team TKT.

It didn’t matter that all was forgiven by the Youkol Tribe, nor that Maggie was having a wonderful time traveling with them. Maybe it did a little, but they wouldn’t let that show during their attack. Kate had climbed up to a watchtower and saw a watchman looking out over the sea for danger. Kate approached him and tried to talk, but he crumbled into dust, leaving behind a Youkol Medallion. “Well that was gross.”, Uttered Kate under her breath as she picked up the medallion and placed it in her pouch. Kate climbed down a ladder and rejoined the others as they walked downstairs towards a pathway. They saw a chest which, when opened, contained three stone plates with strange symbols on them.

As they continued walking towards an area filled with flowers, the Peaky Blinders saw their chance. But maybe the scenery, the fact they were on a mythical island paradise, or a growing sense of familiarity caused a very awkward feeling. Tommy imagined himself and Ben leaping from the bushes to defeat Team TKT once and for all. Instead, they found themselves forcing their way out and walking alongside them. Digging deep into the shrinking wellspring of villainy he had left, he casually spoke to Tenchi and demanded, “Give me the converter.” To which Tenchi simply replied, “No.” As Tommy finished by saying, “Okay.” Polly and Ann celebrated by exclaiming, “Yay! Conflict resolved!”

Kate welcomed the two late brothers to the group as she started picking some of the Syberia flowers with Polly and Ann. Team TKT was beginning to understand that the location had been without visitors. Since the watchman died. Yet they knew there was someone, something watching them. Kate wouldn’t be able to handle it. As they continued north, they came across a large gate and Hans, who told them they needed to find a way to unlock the gate using the Youki. Kate wasn’t aware that the Youki ran back and boarded the Ark but trusting Hans, she went to the ship, and sure enough, in the hold, there he was. Once he smelled the flowers, Kate picked him up, ran towards the gate, and hopped right into the box. This caused the gate to open, and on the other side, a hooded man was standing before them.

Removing his hood, he said his name was Zalmoxis as Tenchi and Kylie calmly walked up toward him to face him. Tenchi said, “We’ll handle this.” Zalmoxis smiled as he readied to fight the intruders saying, “I am your doom.” To this, Tommy and Benny yelled, “Oh ya[you] are are you!? ‘eaven and ‘ell[Well] just because we made amends with Tenchi, doesn’t mean we won’t attack you!” They proceeded to fire bazooka-like weapons built by Ben at Zalmoxis. It exploded, covering him in foam that quickly hardened, trapping him. Hans began to run forward and try to get past Zalmoxis, but he easily broke free of the foam and was now quite angry. Removing his cloak, he revealed a bald head and body adorned with metallic gold symbols as he bellowed, “You fools! I am a god! Bow to me and surrender the luminita!”

Tenchi said, “Your just a vessel for the Zalmoxis program, and we won’t be bowing to you anytime soon.” Kylie added, “Just so you know, we eat gods for breakfast.” As they began fighting, Hans told Kate, “Now is the time my dear!” Kate realizing what that meant, took out the Voralberg Key and opened Oscar’s heart. Oscar’s body opened up, revealing he had a power armor mode, and he attached himself to Hans. Hans began fighting alongside Tenchi and Kylie in quite a dramatic fashion. While the Peaky Blinders kept using their mostly useless gadgets made by Ben, who was noticing a slight gap in his and Hans’s technical capability. They would cause at most distractions and annoyance from Zalmoxis, which Tenchi, Kylie, and Hans would capitalize on.

Finally defeated and enraged, Zalmoxis yelled, “You insignificant worms have only delayed the inevitable! The luminita will be mine and then, the world!” The vessel body Zalmoxis was inhabiting glowed brightly and then vaporized into spherical light particles that faded away. Hans hovered in the air exclaiming, “That was fun! I never thought I’d get to use the rocket punch function!” Kate replied, “And I never thought I’d see a man beat a god in a clockwork power armor suit, Hans.” Hans shot back, “What old man? I’m the stringiest chicken you’ve ever met!” Polly said, “Where are the mammoths? Did Mr. Zalmoxis scare them away?” Tenchi answered, “I doubt that Polly we just have to keep going.” And so everyone headed up the stairway to an upper area overlooking a vast expanse of land covered in mist.

Hans looking at the device that lay before them, saw it was a musical apparatus. He told everyone they would have to call the mammoths with the large horn overlooking the expanse ahead. Kate saw a stone circle on the ground near the device’s operating controls. Some pieces were missing, and Kate taking out the stone plates, saw they fit in perfectly. Kate looked at the Youkol Medallion to line up the symbols on the plates to match the medallion. The stone circle rotated at Kate, twisting it with her fingers, and an ivory key appeared as the sand fell on one of the symbols. Kate making a note of the symbol walked over to the enormous musical pipe. She inserted the ivory key into the machine key slot.

Kate saw the machine had a panel with four rows of symbols, all the same as the stone circle and the medallion. When the machine activated, she took the key out and placed it in the position marking the symbol sand had fallen on. “No, that’s too easy,” she said to herself as she thought more carefully and decided that the symbol beneath it was the correct spot for the key. Finally, she tried turning a wheel on the right side of the device, and the machine started humming and taking in air. Kate walked over to the pipes and saw she had to configure the valves properly to create the right sound. Kate remembered the mammoth picture on the Ark and, turning to the page she drew in her Techo notebook, saw six symbols like there were six valves. She arranged the valves in an open, half-closed open, half-closed, closed, open pattern.

Team TKT had come this far, and whether anything happened or not, they were all glad to have had the adventure of a lifetime and made new friends across Siberia. All that was left was the lever on the right of the pipes to be pulled, and as Kate pulled the lever, the horn let out a loud low sound. After the horn sounded, it started to rain, and that was it. Polly and Ann said they wanted mammoths, not rain and Hans’s head sulked in sadness. The Peaky Blinders also wanted to see Hans’s dream come true. Some things were more important than climbing to the top of the criminal world. Tommy decided that maybe endangering his brother and sister in the name of crime wasn’t the best of ideas, and being adventurers would work out better.

While everyone was upset, they didn’t think to bring umbrellas and that Tenchi didn’t have an invention to help; suddenly, they heard a similar roar from the mist and could faintly make out shapes coming toward them. They all realized that it was a herd of mammoths heading toward the platform they were on. Hans was immediately overjoyed and ran to the edge to greet the leader of the mammoths. Kate was concerned about his safety but quickly saw they were friendly. The lead mammoth extended his trunk to Hans, who hugged it and then hopped on the mammoth’s back. As they started to turn around and go back to their grazing area, Kate started crying as she realized she probably wouldn’t see Hans again. She and everyone waved goodbye to Hans and the mammoths as they disappeared into the mist.

(Tenchi then released an umbrella drone that floated over him and Kylie while everyone looked on in annoyance. However, they all decided that one big group hug was needed to escape the rain, so they clustered around Tenchi and Kylie. Tenchi said, “This is not professional people; we need to give an example in ACME.” Maggie replied, “Ya just want ter be near Kylie but we need ya too love.” Tommy crying like his brother said, “This is so ‘eartbreakin’ but I’m glad we got outta that Zalmoxis Read and Write[fight] in wahn[one] Merlyn Rees[piece]. Na[Now] come to Frank Bough[off] that “Special Agent Tenchi bollocks” we got a god ter stop.” Fortunately, the rain calmed down to a light sprinkle, and everyone could let go and distance themselves as they reached the stairs.)

Everyone, minus Hans, returned to the Siberian dock and readied to return to Siberia. And as they were looking over the Ark, they started picking up transmissions from Mobile Command. Eddie was relaying information stating that the force draining power from the ship and everything else, for that matter, had ceased, but it was believed to be temporary. Eddie, therefore, had good news they could be airlifted out of Syberia and returned to the Russian mainland. And with that, the Siberian adventure was over; as they saw Mobile Command coming towards them, they made their decisions on what to do next. Kate felt the Ark should be returned to the Youkol Tribe and the Peaky Blinders wanted to help man the ship to apologize to her properly.

Polly and Ann were sad to see the group start to go their separate ways and knew. Before long, they would be back at the Academy. They secretly hoped for more bad guys to appear as they waited for the dreaded announcement. Of course, Eddie asked, “So who’s this Zalmoxis guy?” Tenchi informed them, not overthinking much about what he had learned with Carmen. After he was done explaining what Zalmoxis Zamfir was, the group was wide-eyed and noticeably taken aback. That is, except for Kylie, who, like Tenchi, took it in stride. Tommy, concerned, asked, “Your tellin’ me that blighter we fought is the bloody servant of an ancient Babylonian god that plans to come here and start tearin’ up the chuffin’ planet!?” Kylie replied calmly and in a matter-of-fact tone, “Dacian, not Babylonian; big difference.” Tommy bowing sarcastically, shot back, “Oh well pardon me, your ladyship.”
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 44
Kylie contacted ACME Crimenet and informed them they would investigate further suspicious activity. Team TKT, however, was going to go their separate ways for the time being. Kate and the Peaky Blinders boarded the Ark and set sail back to Youkol Village, while Tenchi, Kylie, Tatyana, Polly, and Ann boarded Mobile Command. The case Kate called them for was officially over, and Tenchi and Kylie were paid for their services by ACME Detective Agency. The Detective sent by Kate’s agency to find her had lost all leads to her location and reported to Kate’s employers that she had vanished. Tatyana had to be dropped off to brief Various Russian authorities about what had transpired concerning the mission’s parameters to protect the converter. Zalmoxis wouldn’t be mentioned until it became necessary to do so.

Which meant Tenchi and Kylie were back where they started, stopping VILE or, in this case, Patty Larceny. As they, of course, realized she was yet to steal her target, but maybe everyone else had forgotten that fact. Obviously, in ACME’s case, that was wishful thinking, so instead, they would thoroughly enjoy their vacation on the Trans-Siberian since they had to wait on Patty to make the next move. Patty, of course, had found out that her unlimited debt had been canceled, and she skipped away from Lash and Frenzy. They hoped Patty would choose them in the end, but that was highly unlikely. Patty chose VILE; it didn’t choose her. Carmen let her stay, understanding that a girl who effortlessly found their headquarters and just walked in was probably a cut above the rest.

Patty, realizing things as they were, meant she was pretty isolated. Being the “Princess of VILE” was one thing when you were around adoring fans. But when you find yourself apart from the people, it’s not much fun. Given all that had happened, Patty was the image of royal thievery in the eyes of the VILE regulars. In a moment of crisis, they could always be inspired by her words, golden hair, pretty eyes, and winning smile. But she couldn’t say or do anything she wanted and found being a responsible leader is definitely not fun but must be done nonetheless. She better understood the pressure on Carmen every day and just wanted to hug her.

She thought, “Princess of VILE, “Cool sparkles!” Leader of VILE definitely not on my bucket list. I don’t know how Carmen does it; kidding me! It’s cause she’s Carmen naturally!” But as the henchmen henched along on the ground, Patty and her attendant Paige Turner walked above them on a wall walk, observing their progress, she really wanted to put her arms out and pretend she was flying, but that wouldn’t be very “becoming of a leader.” Patty sighed as she saw the henchmen were likely to falter, as was the norm. Why was it so difficult for them? The target Jewel Beach was simple, take the beach and run. But as they rehearsed, they kept falling or spilling the jewels from the bags they were using. Maybe the beach could be vacuumed up using Led’s airships, but that would hurt the henchmen’s feelings to know they tried so hard to impress her but got left out.

Paige did find it so flattering that she could now stand within three to five feet of Patty that she immediately escaped from custody and went to her location. Now out of fairytale garb and following Patty like a lost kitten, Paige dutifully compiled everything happening on her tablet. She had light brown hair, glasses, freckles, a short jacket covering her favorite tan cardigan with a matching skirt, and platform oxford shoes. As she hurried along behind Patty, she was overly concerned about her performance. The Kukoboi operation was a total bust but maybe salvageable in principle. Paige wanted to say this out loud to Patty, but she was too shy and ashamed since she was there. She couldn’t do anything to stop ACME, but she could try to impress Patty.

The keyword was try, as she spilled her pens all over the floor and scrambled to pick them up. As she did, she thought, “Ahh! Why is this happening!? Oh god, focus Paige you can recover from this! Step one: Pick up pens! Step two: Place pens back in the case! Step Three: Look and hope Patty isn’t watching you because then you would die of shame!” Since her hands were full slight adjustment of things would have been wise, but she was far too nervous and managed to pick them up as best she could, one at a time. When Patty asked how she thought the henchmen were doing, Paige had only just gotten back up. She resumed her demeanor of inspecting the troops and commented, “T-they are d-doing as average as always ma’am. I’m sorry I’m not good enough to compensate for their lack of vision. Though I say that they seem to be sneaking looks at you.”

She continued, “They seem to be surprised you would visit them in training. And I’m surprised I get to be your retainer. But! Anyway, it would be nice if they had a leader to rally behind like Doub- I mean Rig Atony! His um, theme park is amazing….” Though it was true that Double’s presence was missed when it came to mission planning, he had made it clear that either you accepted his opinion of himself or he would not associate with you. Patty could care less and simply said earlier, “He is so not reliable.” But adapting to the whims of lieutenants was required of any assistants, whether they knew that or not. And luckily, Paige did though it made her job harder. Why did that argument have to happen? That was all Paige could think of as she drew up her plans.

Patty being a lieutenant, was akin to a manager of sorts, and Paige was assistant manager to her. But given VILE henchmen’s personality quirks, it was more like Patty was the boss of her own division. But the people under her command could vary from thousands to just one person. Namely, herself at this point, and the assistant was expected to give her freedom if it meant the lieutenant’s escape. Though an assistant could forget that expectation depending on the lieutenant, Paige was totally devoted to Patty. Her sterling record of thievery had made Paige a huge fan like many others. While her arrests by law enforcement had garnered sympathy from anyone who saw her pouty face. Or in short, all candidates for the position were giving Paige death stares at every opportunity.

And Paige loved every second of it. Paige was constantly checking the news for recent information and saw an interview about some enforcer who worked for Golden Corporation. He strode through the hallway towards his seat, ensuring the cameramen were forced to agree to his terms. They had to film him from multiple angles and play his theme song as he walked onto the stage. After which, he posed for five seconds as cameras flashed, took his photos, and sat down.

As she listened, she felt it might be important since Carmen was involved, but all she and Patty got was The Clock being The Clock. The reporter said, “So Mr. Clock what are your thoughts on the recent sting operation implicating your boss Shamus McMahon as a crime lord?” The Clock took out his custom microphone, even though he was already wearing one for the interview. He slowly raised it to his lips and, pausing for dramatic effect, said, “You are daring to ask The Clock what he thinks about these obvious lies and slanderous words directed at Golden Corporation? They must pay you to be an idiot because what you were supposed to ask was, One: “How do you plan on dealing with ACME Crap-net?” Two: “Gee The Clock, where did you get that fabulously expensive shirt?” And Three: “When is the world going to shout in unison that Tenchi Masaki absolutely stinks!?” But no, no, you had to ask such an easy question of The Clock.”

The reporter, feeling quite insecure, replied, “Well, they say he’s a crime lord. I didn’t say that, and I’m sure it must be proven in a court of law first-.” The Clock motioning with his hand for the reporter to be silent, began to speak again. “The Clock is quite upset that ACME has gone down this road. “What is ACME anyway? The Clock is confused here, like everyone else. Are they an agency? Or Private eyes? The Clock doesn’t even think they know what they are!”

“They must have thought The Clock would stay in jail on these false charges. But finally… The Clock… has come back… to society! To walk among his billions… and billions of fans! But I’ll tell you what The Clock heard while gracing the stone walls of prison with his presence. The Clock has heard all kinds of… rumors that ACME secretly likes My Little Pony and Kittens… meow.” And now the world wants to know what The Clock thinks about ACME’s false allegations?”

“Well, The Clock says this. He hopes those gumshoes aren’t too busy; because The Clock plans on kicking their pony-loving butts back to the Clue board game they should have never stopped playing!” The crowd was steadily growing and cheering as The Clock’s verbal assault continued unabated. “And now ACME geeks the holidays are upon us and The Clock wants to give you gifts from the bottom of his heart. That’s right everyone, to show that The Clock has no hard feelings towards them, The Clock shall give three gifts to ACME.”

“For the first gift, The Clock has now decided you get to be called “My Cheap Ponies.” Yes, I know you cheap ponies are jumping up and down right now screaming like little girls yelling, “Oh my God, The Clock has given us a name!” But know this is just one of three gifts The Clock will give you during this holiday season WHACME! The second is a special rendition of a song sung by The Clock you hold dear.”

“Ahem, mi mi mi mi! [Sings]Well, she sneaks around the world from Kyiv to Carolina! She’s a sticky-fingered filcher from Berlin down to Belize! She’ll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China! Tell me, “Where in The World is-“NO ONE CARES WHERE SHE IS!!!” And the last gift is, The Clock will bringeth my booteth down on Tenchi’s veggie butt! If ya taste what The Clock is bakin’!”

The crowd outside the station roared in a wild frenzy at The Clock’s showmanship. On the other hand, Patty and Paige found him to be the biggest blowhard they had ever heard. Why he had a growing fan base was beyond them. Paige quickly turned the video off as The Clock did his trademark sneer to the camera.

This was not what Paige wanted to see; the world’s villains referencing Tenchi. She knew he had already helped Carmen and was on “The Dependable Guys List,” a true mark of distinction. If anyone could help Patty’s heist now, it was him, but he’s in ACME. And why were all these other guys so upset with him too? Paige decided more research was needed, but maybe Tenchi was always stopping them from committing crimes? No, it had to be more to it; all law enforcement would be trying to do that. So it must be something about him that makes him stand out. His glasses, maybe Paige, blushed slightly, thinking they were nice to look at.
 
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Tenchi Masaki

ACME Ace Detective, Inventor
Best answers
1
AMA
findcarmen.com
Known Aliases
Tenko(don't ask), Kami Jack, Guy Smart, Tenten
Color #
035096
Chapter 45
Patty decided they would do their best with what they had when the time came. As they both walked on observing the training in progress, they knew they had to guard the Globe Carmen had gotten on her “Vacation,” and that at least would be easy. No one knew about it outside of VILE and ACME, but Paige advised Patty to be on guard. It was more likely they didn’t know who knew about it outside of VILE and ACME. Patty told Paige not to worry too much; they were on guard already and had an entire army of henchmen. Unfortunately, Paige was correct to be concerned as suddenly the ground lightly rumbled. Patty and Paige braced themselves from the sudden tremor and then quickly rushed to look at a storm cloud sweeping across the ground on the horizon.

On closer inspection, they saw an army of strange machines they had never seen before. Being led by three individuals who were the generals of these forces. The generals were all vessels of Zalmoxis Zamfir and had come for the Globe and the luminita. Patty rallied the henchmen to engage them, and the henchmen, not expecting to go into battle, were quite skittish. But inspired by Patty’s being there, they eventually found their courage and assembled. But as expected, they weren’t doing too well, and Patty and Paige knew it was only a matter of time before they were beaten. Patty, easily fighting through the enemy soldiers, confronted one of the generals and said, “Who are you and what do you want?”

The lead general and the other two were enhanced with cybernetics that adapted one for either land, sea, or air and had metallic golden symbols adorning their bodies from top to bottom. They resembled marionettes more than people and told Patty they spoke the will of the Zalmoxis program, saying, “We are Zalmoxis, and we want you and the Globe. Surrender now, resistance is futile.” Patty replied, “It is futile only if you believe it is, and I do not.” Angered and determined to win to please their master, the generals charged Patty. But true to thief form, she was quite hard to catch and, after evading all three, ran to the room where the Globe was.

Paige was doing her best to help this time, determined not to be so easily defeated. She figured VILE weapon, “The Big Thief Sword,” would do nicely in this situation. It was a two-handed sword with a blade as big as its name suggested, but in the hands of those given special training, it was as light as any single-handed sword. Then she grabbed the Globe, which began sensing the danger and began to pulsate glowing lines that separated the Globe into eight pieces. Paige was sweeping away entire groups of robots and falling back to Patty’s location. Once she got to her, however, they both knew they had to escape the area but not before a final act. Patty ordered the henchmen to retreat and form resistance groups to fight the Zalmoxis Army.

From the clouds, Led descended in his airship, The Hinderburg trying to get to Patty for evacuation. The Zalmoxis Army targeted the airship and began firing, to the shock of Patty and Paige. They both knew targeting was not supposed to be possible because of Sarah’s cloaking technology. But the attackers had no problem locking on to The Hinderburg and sending it veering off into the distance for a crash landing. Led was out of commission and quite upset; he wanted to continue the fight, but his injured crew came first. In a resolute tone, Led said, “Get those fires out! And make sure all wounded are moved to safety! VILE is down for now, but we’re not out!” Led knew the harsh truth, though; VILE had lost all control of the air, and all that was left was Dirk’s subpar airships.

Dirk seeing the carnage, yelled, “That fool! He shouldnot havet charged in showing off like that! Trying to play the hero!? We’re the bad guys’ idiot!” Dirk knew The Crappy Tuna was no match for the anti-air weapons, and while he wanted to help his fellow thieves, he ordered it and all his other airships to hold back. Led, however, had his ships repositioned for reconnaissance against this new foe and sent supplies to repair The Hinderburg as soon as possible.

Understanding enough of what was happening, Patty used her energy to float the Globe into the air and shoot all the pieces west of their location. Then it was time to board the customary escape rocket villains had in these inopportune times. At least for Paige, it was, as Patty set the countdown and then suddenly leaped out to hold off the attackers. Paige was horrified as the rocket lifted off without Patty, who chose to escape on foot. The generals were none too happy about this as now the Globe was in eight pieces, and the primary target was missing. When they reported the news to the true Zalmoxis, Zalmoxis Prime, he was not too concerned.

He cracked a smile as he knew Patty did not fully understand what had happened after the earthquake. And simply zeroed in on her location as she fled with some henchmen. Patty arrived at Jewel Beach, just not the way she originally intended. She was on the run from evil robots, not ACME detectives, and suddenly found herself cut off as an energy field rose to imprison her. Whatever the energy was, she couldn’t get through it and was trapped. The henchmen on the other side were easily swept aside by another of Zalmoxis’s vessels, a tall skinny pale green man with pointy ears, two slits on his face containing all-white eyes, and a horrifyingly wide smile who began to speak to Patty gleefully.

“Hee hee hee! It was, so easy to catch you and those three other fools said I would slow them down. Ha! What will they say now I wonder? Now they have to find the Globe and piece it back together, while I stay here guarding a most precious flower. Hahahahaha!” Patty finding this vessel quite slimy and disgusting, verbally confronted the fiend.

“I can see Zalmoxis doesn’t honor manners in his army.” Polidori, upset, yelled, “All that matters is power! Unlimited power! Which the master shall have once he gets the Globe! If you were wise you would fall to your knees and accept him as your god!” Patty, “I serve Carmen you creep, and this will end one of two ways: If she comes for me you’ll be in big trouble. And if he comes for me… You’ll be sorry you were ever born. Nyah.” Polidori, further enraged and losing his composure, shrieked, “We’ll see about that little girl! Whoever this “He” is well, “He’ll” be sorry “He” was born… ever… Ha!” Patty slowly and defiantly backed away from the sadistic servant and spun around and down into a cross-legged position to meditate, facing the ocean.

Paige was beside herself and a bundle of nerves. In her mind, she had let Patty down and didn’t know what had happened to her. As she started to cry, she thought to herself, “Is she safe or… Ahh! I can’t think about it! She’s fine, Paige, why am I so useless!? Think! There has to be something I can do for her!” But looking out the window, her heart sank as she saw the ground was lit across the Siberian region. Paige sat back in her chair and breathed deeply to calm down; suddenly, it came to her as she exclaimed aloud, “That’s it!” with a plan of action forming, she decided no matter what, she would help save Patty and stop Zalmoxis.

Team TKT was, needless to say, literally rocked out of their sleepy Trans-Siberian trip. Both trains had to stop when the ground shook to ensure the cars wouldn’t derail. Tenchi rubbing his head as he got out of bed, said, “Why does this keep happening?” Polly running into his room, replied, “Because life without excitement is boring! Now let’s go save stuff!” However, nothing would be saved if Tenchi and Kylie had their way. Hopefully, this was just a hyper-rare earthquake or another Tunguska-like event. But as Mobile Command informed them, there was more to it than that.

Soundly sleeping, Eddie was jolted awake, getting sudden priority alerts, calls, and otherwise panicked responses from multiple detectives outside Russia, the ACME Crimenet Judges Council, Russian intelligence branches, and generally everyone in particular who wanted to know what was happening. As reports started coming in about robots terrorizing the masses, Tenchi and Kylie were called to see what they knew about the situation. Having convened with the other chief justices already in a council meeting, Chief Magruder was now going to speak on their behalf.

She was quick to the point, saying, “While you two are considered “Ace Detectives” there are clearly situations that can’t be solved outright, such as this one. Reports indicate strange tremors rippled through the Siberian region, and soon after, machines are on a rampage. You are to find out what is going on as all communications are jammed in certain areas, and we don’t know why. Now, if you two would kindly get out of your pajamas and get to work, you can attempt to be as good as you think. Unless, of course, you already miraculously solved the case while standing there half asleep.

Tenchi and Kylie, not missing a beat even when half asleep, responded, “The situation is being caused by an evil ancient computer program that thinks it’s a god named Zalmoxis Zamfir. He was once human and was trained by a man named Pythagoras in the use of ancient technology. He furthered the understanding of ancient technology with the creation of the converters, red jewels, and the Elysian Mainframe. He ascended to “Godhood” by transferring his consciousness to the mainframe entering the cyberspace world known as “The Grey.” From there he set in motion his attempts to return to the world using simple statistical probability calculations to locate and utilize necessary relics namely The Globe to achieve world domination. We’re going back to bed now.” A noticeably stunned council attempted to recover by wishing the two sleepy detectives full support and sweet dreams from all parties involved.

The rocket-carrying Paige landed in the city of Irkutsk on the Trans-Siberian trip, and wasting no time, Paige headed straight to the station where the trains were. Team TKT was eating breakfast under protest of Polly and Ann, who, after learning about the situation, wanted immediate action to be taken. They saw no point in going through the daily routine like nothing was happening. But Tenchi and Kylie knew the real routine in situations such as these. The full analysis of the situation was carried out by Home 01 and Mobile Command. Not that Tenchi and Kylie needed that, but it was for professionalism’s sake.

All of Team TKT’s friends had reconvened after their travels to deal with this threat as best they could. But a sudden knock on the door was, however, unexpected. At this time, thinking it might be more Russian authorities, Kylie opened the door, already sensing the aura of VILE on the other side. The visitor introduced herself, saying, “Greetings respected enemy, I am Paige Turner and I come to you now at the turn of the tide.” Kylie replied, “No need for drama dearie. Now, this better is good or I will swallow your soul.” Back in the Parlor car Tenchi was explaining to Polly and Ann that patience was more important than running off impulsively.

Tenchi had heard from Eddie and Delores that the region had strange towers rising from the ground. It was believed they were responsible for the communications blackout in their immediate vicinity. Though a workaround had not been implemented, they would need to be disabled to restore normal operations. Tenchi’s Globe had morphed into a tablet-like mode and displayed a map of the region highlighting places of interest and marking eight relic locations as having been recently added. Tenchi said, “Hopefully there will be no time wasting fetch quests, please let this operation be easy.”

Only Eddie, too, as if on cue, humorously informs Tenchi, saying, “Sigh, this is not going to be easy. Based on preliminary investigation from land and satellite recon, you’re going to have to go to each of the towers and manually deactivate them. Your globe tablet thingie is showing the areas where the towers are as blank spots so we know where every tower is generally located. Once in the area, you can easily spot them since they’re extremely tall. Any hostiles will either have to be fought or snuck past using stealth. Though checking your tablets map data it seems to have ancient paths marked whether they’re still traversable or not will have to be cross-referenced.”

Tenchi hoped the intel briefing and preparation phase was sinking into Polly and Ann’s heads as reasons why patience and strategy are important. But just then, Kylie and Paige entered the room of adventurers, all readying for another exciting journey. Paige seeing Tenchi in person, quickly dropped her gaze to the floor to avoid eye contact and quickly bowed slightly. She told them what had transpired and that Patty’s fate was uncertain. Led would be leading a search, but the anti-air defenses of Zalmoxis’s army would make any air travel next to impossible. Of course, Tenchi, on hearing Patty was in trouble, was already in his room speaking to his guitar on the wall, saying, “Djinn, it’s time to rock n roll.” Djinn replied, “It’s about bloody time.”
 
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  • I (Guest) invaderhorizongreen:
    Deric Storm said:
    Invader, have you checked your spam folder. Sometimes, I've had password reset emails go in there
    yes I have checked spam nothing
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  • I (Guest) invaderhorizongreen:
    I even have the site white listed, for a wild shot can any of you post a new question in the guessing game I had set up
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  • I (Guest) invaderhorizongreen:
    I would like to see if that will get my email to ping
    • Interesting
    Reactions: Tenchi Masaki
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  • I (Guest) invaderhorizongreen:
    I know that might just be a shot in the dark but why not try
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  • Tenchi Masaki Tenchi Masaki:
    Sure why not?
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  • Lucy Lucy:
    I hope you get it fixed Invader!!
    • Like
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  • Dj Inn(Djinn) :
    Dj Inn(Djinn) has left the room.
  • Lucy Lucy:
    Good Morning everybody. I hope you all have a wonderful day :)
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  • Lucy Lucy:
    Did you know a group of Jellyfish is called a Smack? -Nat Geo
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  • Tenchi Masaki Tenchi Masaki:
    Smack O’ jellies is now a term
    • Haha
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  • Jon Eckart Jon Eckart:
    ((OOC: So, I am still here (at least, while ACP is still a thing, then I have to tether my phone to my laptop, send it's internet to Ethernet to my router and setup my other laptop to access that... I managed it once totally by accident)... updating stuff I'm working on is not a fun process (if anyone checks my stories folder on my Google Drive) anymore... the laptop at my desk is old (Core 2 Duo, 2Ghz, 4 gigs RAM, Win7 Ultimate)... Chrome won't update, Drive won't work... I'm stuck using FreeFileSync to keep stuff up to datep things synced. I have plans of getting a job and having money to have something better (a doorstop is better)
    • Love
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  • Jon Eckart Jon Eckart:
    [continuing] I'm sorry if any of my posts are/could be inflammatory or anything... some of them are stuff I've had in the pipeline for a while, and I messed with it enough to get it postable... that's why there are dates showing when I started working on stuff... I'm not, and never have been, trying to step on anyone's toes or say "this is how it should be"... I have no say here, not sure who does these days (like I posted... maybe this is a test to see if we devolve into chaos). Posts like Hierarchy were started long ago, and meant as a guideline and not because I'm the voice of Sauron.
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  • Jon Eckart Jon Eckart:
    [continuing] I don't have the time to be here a whole lot, I don't have much beyond mom to help with my rent (and once I have a job, that'll take up more time, though I will keep working on stuff (both for here and not) as often as possible, and post when possible on here. I have a question that needs some clarification... being that we are supposed to get permission from the person if we use their character in an addition/story/post, how would that apply if the character is core to the universe (like Carmen... I can replace @Chase, maybe cobble someone into @Ivy's place... but, like @Carmen, being that she's a major character, as long as I don't have her acting or write a major part for her, would that circumvent the rule at all?
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  • Jon Eckart Jon Eckart:
    [continuing] I'm just curious... the absence of the major's leaves a gap that I'm not sure what to do with anything... we (the Left Behind) could do a story together (or some stories separate), and that'd be cool, but without being able to use any major's, I'm not sure where to take anything. And, yeah... you can probably guess what my typing is like here (or anyplace else)... I type here or in Word, I type something (or notepad), and 15-20+ seconds later it shows up, so I have to stay on top of my grammar and spelling. I have to keep on top of all that, because I'm working on the big Carmen story at the same time, so I can't slip off my game.))
    • Love
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  • Julie Justice Julie Justice:
    @Jon Eckart Not exactly sure if I understand all your computer probs. I hope you get those resolved soon. Yes, I have many probs with my basic Google Chrome, too. I think it's fair to say we all have a love/hate relationship with technology. 😆 As far as your stories are concerned, you can use any cannon character you like, whether there is a person playing that role on here or not. Say the story is a fanfiction; and that the version of Chase, or Carmen (or whoever) from the computer games, gameshow (or whatever). We don't do Netflix Carmen, mostly because of the violence. And because it is fanfiction, you can also create other characters and situations to suit your story. Now, Chase, Carme, Ivy (or whoever) were here, of course, you would ask their permission; tell them your idea; and if they like it they might write it with you. 🙂
    • Like
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  • Julie Justice Julie Justice:
    @Jon Eckart Now, if you for a friendship with someone on--and off-site, you might form a partnership with them, and write stories together (like Chase and Carmen; or Chase and Ivy; or Lucy and I) and then you will just put a statement saying that this story is a co-write with whoever. In fact, if you collaborate with this person a lot, people will just assume they have your permission; although you should always say it anyway, just as a common courtesy. In fact, ironically, the only people whose permission you must always ask to use their characters are "original" characters, who are creations of their individual writers (which most of us on here, are) specifically because we are not cannon. I hope that makes sense. 🙂
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  • Julie Justice Julie Justice:
    @Jon Eckart Now, if you want to write something, but don't have a lot of time, I would suggest posting a status; or replying to someone else's status. Or you could start a guessing game. Look under Forums/Guessing Games, and look at some things other people have done, to give you ideas. I hope that helps. 🙂
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  • Lucy Lucy:
    Did you know that the Mockingbird is the state bird of 5 states? Florida, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, and Texas.
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  • Tenchi Masaki Tenchi Masaki:
    It seems the Mock-5 is unstoppable... Go Speed Go!
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  • Lucy Lucy:
    I just heard on the news they're going to have to remove the Sakura trees in Washington because of damage to a sea wall. They have to build a sea wall and replant new trees.
    • Like
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  • Lucy Lucy:
    They were a gift from the mayor of Tokyo!
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  • Lucy Lucy:
    Okay wait. Only 158 of the 2,500 have to be taken down. They are also taking clippings from the cut down trees to propagate new ones
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    Lucy Lucy: Okay wait. Only 158 of the 2,500 have to be taken down. They are also taking clippings from the...
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