Of Ninjas, Sailors, and Shakespeare
Disclaimer: Same as before...
Author's Note: I figured I'd go with a lighter hearted and silly vibe for this particular installment.
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The Pit, Ninja Dojo
Todd Tolansky
18 February 2002, 0808
Todd sneaked around the white walls of the square shaped building, with its blue tiled roof giving the impression of an ancient Japanese castle. He had snuck away from the training area when Roadblock had been called away for a quick huddle.
I want to see so much of this base. But here especially, where the ninas are. Real live ninjas! Whoa! Todd thought.
He silently crept in and then had some second thoughts. I shouldn’t be here. They probably eat little toads like me for breakfast and use my leg bones to pick their teeth and…
He ducked behind some boxes, watching two ninjas, one in white and one in black. He watched their fluid movements. They were so graceful. Perfection itself.
If only I could be like them. So swift. So silent. So graceful. Todd thought as he watched the two ninjas. If I was, I wouldn’t ever be afraid again. I can see it all now! Todd the Ninja! The most dangerous mutant in history.
The boy continued to daydream.
I’d kick Mystique and Magneto out of a jet and see how they like it! Then I’d trash the Brotherhood and the X-Geeks! Ooh! Ooh! Even better! I’d create my own army of mutants and let them beat them up! Why should I do all the work…
Inwardly Todd thought about it. His own kingdom, a grand palace. Duncan Matthews, as a court jester/punching bag. Rogue as his personal secretary. He had just day dreamed about the moment in which he had found the most terrified, weakest, and seemingly hopeless mutant, making him his squire and…
Todd looked up in time to see the ninja in black crouched down over the top of one of the crates, looking back down at him.
“Eeep!” Todd said and started hopping away, out of the dojo. He tried heading towards the training area but he had no idea where the place was. But he knew he had to get away, and as he hopped over a hedge row he found himself face of face, or nearly face to foot, rather, with Agent Caitlin Todd…
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The Pit, Airtight’s Stage
Conrad, Kate, Scarlett, and Airtight
16 February 2002, 0744
“This is something you don’t see on a typical Army base.” Kate remarked as they stepped onto an open quad near some hedgerows.
It looked like the set of a play was afoot. And she noticed quite a few soldiers in tights and Elizabethan costumes.
“What light through yonder window breaks...Tis...tis..”
“Tis the east, and Juliet is the sun.” A brown haired fellow with a receding hairline said, “Dusty, remember, East and Juliet as the sun…”
“What’s this?” Kate asked Scarlett, who had been walking with her and Conrad earlier.
“That’s Airtight’s Theater Troupe.” Scarlett replied, indicating the fellow with the receding hairline, “It’s one of his many hobbies. And our Romeo is none other than Dusty, our very own desert warfare expert.”
Kate couldn’t help but wonder about why a tough looking fellow with a fairly tanned complexion and a rugged disposition was wearing tights and an Elizabethan costume. Then she got her answer when she saw a Eurasian woman in a beautiful dress.
Ok, that answers the question. Kate thought.
“Well, why else would any man volunteer for a theater troupe?” Conrad observed, noticing Kate’s line of sight.
“I just came to that same conclusion and…” Kate began, noticing a shadow cast over her, and turned around in time to see Todd Tolansky leap right over the hedgerow.
Before she knew it Todd had collided with her faster than she could blink, his hands colliding with her shoulders and and knocking her to the ground on her back.
“Oops...I’m sorry...I’m sorry.” Todd said.
As Todd stood up, Conrad reached down to help Kate stand up, “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, thankfully that grass is soft.” Kate replied, brushing the odd stray blade of grass from off of her clothes.
“And Todd, I thought you were at training today?” Conrad added, “I presume
Monsieur Roadblock is looking for him.”
“If he was supposed to be at the training area,” Kate observed, “Then how did he wind up almost all the way across the base from there.”
“He probably decided to do a bit of exploring.” Conrad offered.
“My thoughts exactly.” Kate replied.
“What are you doing here!?” Beach Head demanded as he stormed onto the quad, “You’re supposed to be on the training ground!”
Todd went to hop away but Beach Head swiftly grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, picking the boy up as he did so.
“Beach Head, put him down!” Scarlett replied, turning from Kate and Conrad, “Can’t you see the kid’s scared of you.”
Beach Head let go of Todd who had his hands up, as if expecting blows.
“Now, Todd,” Scarlett said in a much more gentle tone, “My name is Scarlett. What are you doing here? I’m sure Roadblock is looking all over for you. Don’t be scared, kid, just tell me what happened.”
“Answer her boy.” Beach Head growled.
“I got lost,” Todd said, “I-I wanted to take a look at the ninja place and then I saw this ninja all in black and then I freaked and got lost…”
“Oh he just wanted to see the ninjas. He wanted to watch human killing machines...you are without a doubt the second most troublesome maniac to set foot on this base!”
Kate turned to Conrad and softly asked, “I wonder who the first is…”
“ALOHA!” a voice sounded as a bearded man, in a sailor’s outfit wearing sunglasses and a lei.
“Right on cue.” Beach Head grumbled, “What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to stay in Hawaii another week?”
“I was, but then I missed all my wonderful compadres…” Shipwreck, the bearded man, replied.
“Translation: You all got kicked out again.” Beach Head replied, feeling another headache coming on, “I won’t even
attempt to figure out what you guys got into.”
“Well, if you insist, actually we…” Shipwreck began.
“Shipwreck I said I don’t want to know!” Beach Head shouted before stalking off, darkly muttering about troublesome menaces.
“And for you, lovely lady,” Shipwreck said, removing the lei around his neck and putting it on Scarlett’s, “in celebration of your recent promotion.”
“Why thanks, Shipwreck.” Scarlett said, as the bearded sailor turned his attention to the two agents and the kid with the mop of dirty blonde hair on his head.
Scarlett checked Shipwreck’s line of sight, and said, “Shipwreck, I want you to meet Agent Conrad Hart, ACME Detective Agency, Agent Caitlin Todd, US Secret Service, and Todd Tolansky, codenamed Toad. He’s the one Roadblock’s looking after.”
After Scarlett had introduced the two agents and Todd Shipwreck’s features lit up with recognition, “Oh yeah, I heard about the kid and the two suits...uhm, no offense…”
“None taken.” Conrad replied.
“Welcome aboard, in any case.” Shipwreck said.
“Hi,” Todd said, weakly, “You a sailor, yo?”
“Why that’s like asking a seagull if he’s a bird.” Shipwreck replied.
“Shipwreck is quite possibly the craziest sailor you’ve ever heard of.” Roadblock said as he walked towards them.
“Oh, you’re the one who has the record for joyriding on tanks?” Todd asked.
“It’s not polite to repeat gossip, kid,” Roadblock replied, “Or go running off when my back is turned.”
“Rude, unprincipled, and nothing but trouble. I like that in a man. Come here, kid, I’ll show you the best places to lie low when you’re in trouble!” Shipwreck said.
“Oh no!” Roadblock replied, “I am trying to teach this kid right from wrong. Around you he does not belong.”
“Hopefully Roadblock’s will remains strong.” Conrad commented to Kate.
Kate turned to Conrad and said, “Or Todd learns to play along.”
Damn it, now I’m doing the rhyming thing too. Kate thought. Despite her mild annoyance there was the trace of a small smile on her lips.
“Roadblock, you wound me.” Shipwreck protested, “You know I’m perfectly qualified to look after the kid! After all my own…”
“SHIPWRECK!!! WHY IS THERE A TARANTULA IN MY DESK DRAWER???!!!” Beach Head’s voice could be heard echoing from the HQ building.
“Sorry, I’d love to stay and chat, important business to attend to and all…” Shipwreck replied and made a rapid exit, stage left.
“Bye!” Todd waved at Shipwreck before turning to Roadblock, “I like him, he’s funny.”
“Oh Lord give me strength.” Roadblock said, rolling his eyes, “Two of them on the same base. Now the question remains, what were you doing wandering off like that?”
“I wanted to look around…” Todd fidgeted and with the piercing glare Roadblock gave him, he added, “I-I wanted to see the ninjas.”
“The ninjas!?” Roadblock declared incredulously. “Kid, do you have any idea how dangerous that is? They’re not the most hospitable people in the world. And have you any idea what they do to people they catch snooping around their dojos? Forget it, I’m not gonna say any more, you have enough nightmares as it stands.”
“I just thought they were interesting…” Todd replied.
“I find tigers interesting but I don’t go wandering into their cages to watch them.” Roadblock replied, “Come on! Back to work! I’ll need to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t get into anything else…”
Once Roadblock and Todd were out of earshot, Kate turned to Conrad and asked, “Is it just me or is this Shipwreck character about to add even more to the insanity around here?”
“Perhaps. He certainly seems to have an interesting sense of humor and a lot of resourcefulness, what with the tarantula and everything.” Conrad replied.
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