Mistaken Trust

Pitya Ivyr

K-9 Unit Manager and Trainer
Known Aliases
Ivyr, Ive, Crystal, Lira
Color #
#00EA8
#1
Mistaken Trust
April 2014


They always say to think before you act. They say everything is not always as it appears. I was so desperate to make new friends, to have a life again I disregarded that. And paid dearly for it. I had been 14 for a while… and lost my mother more recently. I had scars to remember that dreaded day. One cut across near my brow bone, the other hidden under long sleeves. It was a day I will always remember too.

I had made one to two friends over time. One of them stuck with me through thick and thin. Though over time we lost contact as I threw myself tenfold into my work. wanted to keep my mother alive… her memories. I became even more independent than before. I just wanted to try my very best at life. ACME had accepted me into the academy and I instantly fell into line of working with the dogs and K-9 Unit. Sure, I was outcast from a good chunk of the group but that wouldn’t deter me from my love of animals and my work.

The one friend, Myra, had become like an older sister to me. Always helping me out and looking after me. Though… as soon as I drifted apart she became more needy. I told her, very clearly, I could take care of myself and was more interested and keeping an open-mind. I could think for myself. Myra didn’t like the lack of control over me… and the money and wealth I had. She refused to even admit then too. Her words were hurtful… saying I was nothing without her, and she hated me.

I guess you live and you learn every day. I still am hurt by those words to this very day. Useless, not welcome, dumb, brat. These words haunt me still. I work through it… my job with ACME has helped me come a long way. I have my three dogs… and I will adore them all. Zienna and Xena helped me through the tough times. I would never have made it this far without the two friends I have. I learned my lesson, don’t give trust easily. No matter what. Everyone can wear a mask.

I wear a mask currently. Pretending everything is fine, when in reality it isn’t. I have self-doubt big time yet I guess you can say I fight it. I am willing to try my very best. Well, I do try my best. I am judged for my clothing. Though when I work I wear entirely different clothes than when I am called to make an appearance. I am a singer after all. Well, my trust in general needs to be earned. And I will not make it easy. My trust is a treasure. Like gold, or jewels as precious as a cut sapphire or emerald ring. I guard it with my life as of now. I am afraid to give it... afraid to be hurt. something as precious as a jewel should be guarded... and treated with respect.

Takeaway from this... trust is something simple yet complex. I learned that the hard way. I struggle... I may not show it but i do indeed struggle. Though I have gotten better at it. I am thankful to those in ACME I have met... those i will meet, and those who have welcomed me with open arms. My way of coping may be different. Such as writing journals, or working... but we all have our quirks. It's my flaws that make me work... I may not be flawless. However, i am me... and I am unique. So I have made a mistake on this day... but I will learn from this mistake and keep working forward.
 

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*has some hot chai tea, naan bread, and chicken mulligatawny that she ordered from Kennedy's Irish Pub & Curry House, because they deliver.* ;)
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A: I'm in a cent.

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