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Joe Kerr

VILE Trickster
Best answers
Known Aliases
Joey, Joseph,
Color #
Joseph’s expression hardened beneath his mask; the bitter cold around him summoning memories of a different battle and a different hell hole.

Closing his eyes, the Jester concentrated his thoughts.

If you can hear me, I know this is a big ask, but...

Reopening his eyes, Joseph looked around him to see a whirlwind of red sand swirling around him. For a few moments, the sand tornado obscured Joseph from view; when it cleared away, it revealed the Jester standing amongst a dozen identical versions of himself.

One of the ‘Josephs’ stepped forward and addressed the ACME-VILE coalition, “I won’t pretend to know or understand what Maelstrom did to each of you, but I know that he messed with my head and tried to kill my family; I’m not letting him get away with that,” The Jester paused as the black sand around him began to rumble.

“This might be Maelstrom’s mind, but I fully intend to use it against him.”


Best answers
Known Aliases
Iv', Ives
Color #
Ivy’s question went unanswered, but that silence from Chase was enough. She watched Deric take the right flank and agreed with the decision. Getting Devineaux’s attention, she hooked her hands to her waist.

“Well, sir,” she said with a grim sigh as she looked at the horizon, “Whatever happens, it’s an honor serving as your commander.”

“Pleasure,” Chase replied and offered a handshake.

Ivy turned the shake into a quick hug. After the first set of hallucinations, this battle felt like a closing chapter, or the close of something anyway.

“I got left flank,” at the end of the hug she called out. Monaghan imagined she had an army of horsemen behind her, and from the sands was her own cavalry. She was meeting up with invaders on horseback.

“I’ll go with her,” Eugene Grovington indicated, and was off with the redhead.


The VILEiest VILE to ever VILE a VILE
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Known Aliases
Nebuchadnezzar (Neb) Ullyss (formerly Kid Kidman), Kitty, Seryy Pripyat
Color #
Neb would have taken offense to being designated a chaperone, but instead her mind raced through all the possible methods of distraction she knew, until she came upon one she felt would be impossible to ignore.

“Okay, so I just think this into being? Here goes!”

The tiny barbarian closed her eyes. The black sands around her feet shuddered, and then from it rose thousands of small, black pellets. They quickly gained a familiar form, and as they amassed above her, a distinct buzzing filled the air that soon bordered on deafening. Enthralled by the fruits of her labor, Neb threw her hands to the sky.

“For my distraction, I call upon...THE BEES!”

“You guys are going to need air support,” Neb called through the drone of her own winged army. “I’m coming with.”

Deric Storm

Best answers
Known Aliases
Farmboy, Calamity, Stormblood
Color #
Deric had to admit despite the circumstances… this was kinda cool.

Being able to run faster than his normal full speed, keeping up with a wolf pack that he conjured almost out of thin air while heading into battle against a megalomaniac in control of a magical device currently holding him, his friends and adversaries prisoner inside a hallucination…

All while dressed like a cross between Robin Hood and a ninja, complete with bow, arrows, some throwing knives, and a short sword...

‘Yeah… definitely kinda cool,’ Deric thought, a smile coming unbidden to his mask-covered mouth.

A sudden tremor caused the farmboy to pull up suddenly. The wolves with him stopped as well. An increase in the tremor’s intensity was the only warning Deric had to dive out of the way as a wall of black sand exploded upwards behind him, cutting him off from the rest of his team as well as those of Carmen’s henchman who were trapped as well. The wall stretched for a couple hundred yards in either direction before intersecting with more walls of sand, boxing him and the wolves in.

Deric approached the wall cautiously, the black sand rushing upwards like a reverse waterfall. The farmboy raised his hand to touch the wall before an image of a sandstorm grating the flesh off of an animal carcass came to mind. Thinking better of it, Deric grabbed an arrow from his quiver and held it out before gently placing the business end of it in the wall of sand for a few seconds. Once he pulled the arrow back out, Deric saw that the front four inches of the arrow had been completely sheared off.
‘Okay, new plan…’ the farmboy thought nervously, suppressing a gulp, ‘do not fall into the sand wall.’

Deric’s thoughts about the sand wall were interrupted by another rumbling; this one coming from the direction he had previously been heading before the sand walls rose. Turning his gaze in that direction, the farmboy was confronted by a landmass rising out of the black material. When it stopped, a small ‘mountain’ maybe 200 feet high stood before the Irishman. Pacing in various spots on the mountain were creatures Deric could only describe as a cross between a pit bull and a jackal. The real threat in Deric’s mind stood atop the landmass. Clad in black dress shirt, black dress pants and a black leather trenchcoat was the mad Norwegian, who seemed to just be surveying the desolate landscape.

“Maelstrom,” Deric growled under his breath, drawing another arrow from his quiver and nocking it on his bow. The wolves growled as well, eyeing the beasts on the hill and readied to attack.

“Ah, ze farmboy… I almost did not recognize you,” The mad scientist said, after scrutinizing Deric. He gently massaged his left temple. “I couldn’t see you as one of Devineaux’s…” Maelstrom said, a grin stretching across his insane features, “Usually she is the one who collects the broken ones.”

“Whatchu mean ‘broken one,’ Doc Giggles?” Deric asked, eyeing the villain down the shaft of his drawn arrow. “I’m not the one a couple fries short of a happy meal.”

“The ones that society has discarded…” Maelstrom replied, rolling his hand negligibly. As he did, figures rose out of the black sand; upon a closer look, the figures resembled members of Carmen’s crew as well as the woman in Maelstrom’s employ known as Patty Larceny. “The ones who have no real place in ‘normal’ society.”

“This place…” Maelstrom continued, spreading his hands, gesturing to their current environment, “allows me to see the heart of you. There’s a dark rage bubbling inside you, simmering beneath the calm demeanor and the jokes. The world has taken so much from you and you feel powerless at times to do anything about it… that’s where the rage comes from.”

Deric let the bowstring slacken slightly as he pondered the Norwegian’s words.

“In fact,” Maelstrom spoke in almost a conciliatory way, “you and I are very similar…”

Deric didn’t even bother hiding his disbelief. “How in the bluest of blue hells do you figure that?”

Maelstrom flashed a grin as if he was a professor giving a lecture and his favorite student asked an insightful question. “It’s so obvious, young man… We have both been betrayed by the woman in our lives. For me, it was obviously the red woman. This place and my new power showed me for you it was…” Raising his hand, Maelstrom conjured another form from the ebony grains.

The sands settled into the form of Cali as she had appeared in Deric’s previous hallucination. The Irishman felt his blood boiling in his veins.

“I have an offer for you, Irishman,” Maelstrom said, “Join me. I’ll spare your life and then give her back to you. I can use the power I’ve gained here to reshape the world in my image. I can do anything; I can be anything. No one will be able to stop me; not the red woman, not Devineaux, not anyone.” Maelstrom’s tone grew more frantic as he succumbed to the madness within. “All who oppose me will be cast down and made my puppets. I can…” His ravings suddenly ceased when he was struck by a sharp pain on his face. Concentration gone, the sandy figures dissolved back into the substance they were cast from. Maelstrom raised a hand to his left cheek which the pain originated from and saw a line of blood on his palm when he pulled the hand away from his face. His gaze then fell on the ACME agent who was nocking another arrow on his bow.

“Sorry,” Deric deadpanned, cobalt eyes cold and laser-focused on the maniacal scientist, “I’m allergic to monologuing.”

Deric saw Maelstrom’s eyes widen to the point of bulging with rage. “Impudent child,” the villain nearly roared, some flecks of spittle visibly flying out of his mouth, “I offered you the world.”

“You offered me nothing you could actually give,” Deric spat, drawing the arrow back on the bowstring. “Besides,” the farmboy continued, “I already got a job.” Deric loosed another arrow at the madman, which he dodged.

“So, be it,” Maelstrom said coldly. “You’ve obviously chosen oblivion. Such a shameful waste of talent.” The mad scientist nodded at the monstrous hounds around him, and they began their descent down the outcropping towards Deric and his wolves. Deric began to approach in response, the wolves falling in beside him. The wolves let out a defiant howl and the battle was on.

Deric Storm

Best answers
Known Aliases
Farmboy, Calamity, Stormblood
Color #
Deric swore as he dove for cover behind a small outcropping. Half a dozen arrows dug into the terrain where he had just been. Deric grabbed the two nearest him, preparing to try and hit the target the arrows had originally been aimed at.

‘Worst game of catch ever…’ Deric thought as he nocked one of the arrows. After taking a few moments to steady his breathing, Deric sprung out from behind the rocks he was using as cover and fired. Unfortunately for the Irishman, the arrow fared as well as the previous ones he had loosed… i.e. not well. The arrow stopped a foot or two before they could hit Maelstrom, who grinned that sadistic grin, before sending the arrow, along with a few of the ones he had stopped previously, back at the archer.

“Yep,” Deric grumbled after taking cover again, “this game sucks.” A small tremor got his attention, and it alerted the ACME agent to the fact that the walls of sand continued to inch closer on both sides. “When it rains…” Deric grumbled, as he peeked around the rock to check the rest of the battle.

To his relief, the wolves were still holding their own against Maelstrom’s hounds. He spied Inky taking out two hounds who were trying to corner Clyde. Ghost grabbed one by the scruff of its neck with his jaws before hurling it into another batch of the mutts, turning the beasts back to the sand from which they were spawned. Deric couldn’t see Pinky or Blinky but he could hear their growls and barks. The man let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

Deric’s moment of pride was interrupted by an alien snarl coming from behind. The detective turned around to see one of the hellhounds eyeing him hungrily. ‘Googly,’ Deric thought while slowly reaching into his quiver for an arrow. Despite moving deliberately so as not to spook the creature into attacking, the growls intensified as it dipped deeper into an attacking crouch.

“Oh, cr…” Deric began as the creature burst out of his crouch and sprinted towards him. He fumbled the arrow trying to nock it. As Deric picked it up, the hellhound leapt at the detective. Deric frantically drew and loosed.

As Deric’s grandmother would say, fate smiles on fools, little children and Irishmen named Storm; the arrow buried itself right between the creature’s beady eyes in mid-leap. The dead creature turned back into the black sand it had been formed from, covering the young detective from head to toe.

“Blech,” Deric said, spitting black sand out of his mouth. Shaking himself like one of the wolves, most of the remaining sand fell off the detective. Rustling a hand through his hair, Deric was able to get some more sand out. “I will never feel clean again,” the Irishman spat with a shudder. His reverie was interrupted by another arrow burying itself into the sand near his feet. Deric dove back behind the safety of the rock.

A growl of frustration bubbled in the young man’s throat. Things were only going to end badly if they stayed the way they were. The sand walls continued to inch closer; it was only going to be a matter of time before they shredded the entire battlefield, stone, psycho and sheamus alike. Deric needed to put down Maelstrom and figure a way out before that happened.

Riiiight,’ Deric thought, rolling his eyes, ‘such a simple plan… Wonder why I haven’t done that already?’ Every time he popped his head out, Maelstrom launched arrows at him from atop the rocks. Even without those, it would mean trying to make his way up through a horde of bloodthirsty mongrels. Another rumble in the distance reminded the ACME detective again that he was also on the clock as well.

Deric growled again as he tightened his grip on the arrow he pulled from his quiver. His options were extremely limited and the chances of success were damn near anorexic. A glow suddenly appeared from the tip of the arrow he held, causing Deric to drop the arrow.

‘What the hell?’ Deric thought as he reached down to touch the arrow which no longer glowed. Picking it up, Deric decided to test a theory. Focusing on the arrowhead, Deric was pleased when the tip began to glow even brighter than before. ‘Great googly moogly’, Deric thought, trying not to burst out laughing, ‘All this time, I was thinking Robin Hood when I should have been thinking Zelda.’

Nocking the arrow, it glowed even brighter. After taking a steeling breath, Deric stood and loosed the arrow at Maelstrom. The madman held the same self-satisfied smirk on his face as he reached out to stop the arrow like he had all the others. However to both the detective and villain’s mutual surprise, the arrow exploded when it was stopped, eliciting a scream of pain from Maelstrom.

Deric’s brief moment of triumph was dashed as Maelstrom fired back by unleashing most of the arrows he had floating around him at the young Nebraskan. Deric dove back behind his cover as shaft upon shaft rained down upon him. When the rain subsided, Deric let out a small chuckle.

“Well, that was different,” Deric thought aloud. Well, now he had a way to distract, now he just needed a way up to where Maelstrom was. Deric placed a hand on the rock to boost himself up when the hand sank into the rock. The detective yank his hand away like he had touched a hot skillet.

‘What the hell?’ Deric thought as he looked at the stone, a small wave still rippling from where his hand had touched. He reached out tentatively and touched the stone again, sending out more ripples. Seeing his hand was unharmed, the farmboy decided to take a chance and stick his head into the rock. After taking a deep breath, Deric took the plunge. Sticking his head in, it felt like he was poking his head above water. Looking around, Deric could tell he was near the top of the outcropping. Taking a look up, the detective could see Maelstrom hovering only a few feet up.

Quickly pulling his head back through, Deric quickly started to formulate a plan. Reaching into his quiver, he grabbed an arrow and aimed it right at the portal in the stone. However, a thought popped in his head: “what if he missed?” If he missed, Maelstrom would be able to figure out where the arrow came from and Deric would have nowhere to hide. If Deric was able to get Maelstrom distracted, he’d be able to sneak up and take the madman out. But how to do it…

A bark from one of the wolves sparked an idea. Deric created the wolves out of the sand, maybe...

The farmboy closed his eyes and focused on creating an image of himself. When he opened his eyes, a near perfect double crouched before him. Deric sent the clone out to start firing at Maelstrom; the clone lasted about 30 seconds before he was hit by a returning arrow, collapsing back into the black sand.

Deric then created about ten more clones and ordered them to fan out and continuously fire arrows. As his squad fanned out, Deric sank into the stone portal, quietly emerging at the other end atop the outcropping. Seeing Maelstrom occupied taking potshots at his doppelgangers, Deric realized his plan might work. Drawing the short sword at his back, he stealthily made his way towards his target.

When he was only a few feet away, the young detective pounced on his quarry. As he flew through the air, Deric caught what seemed to be a smile on the madman’s face. When he was inches away, Maelstrom suddenly spun and buried his own sword into the detective’s left shoulder and slammed him roughly into the ground at the outcropping’s peak. Deric screamed in pain when he landed, though the scream was cut short by Maelstrom’s weight landing on the man’s torso, expelling the breath from his lungs.

Maelstrom wrenched the sword from the Irishman’s shoulder, drawing another hiss of pain. The villain clenched the sword in both hands and drove it down at the detective’s sternum, only to be stopped at the last moment when Deric caught the Norwegian’s wrists, keeping the blade from striking home. Maelstrom looked down at the boy, his face locked in a grimace of agony doing everything he could to stave off his fate.

“You should have joined me, boy,” Maelstrom snarled, putting all of weight into trying to plunge his blade into Deric’s chest. “Such a waste of potential.”

A snappy comeback died in Deric’s throat as fresh pain rushed from his bleeding shoulder.

“What’s the matter, boy?” Maelstrom said, a wide sneer on his weathered face, “No witty comeback? No inane joke?” Maelstrom put even more strength into his attack, pushing the tip of the blade even closer to Deric’s chest.

Deric strained as hard as he could against the madman. If he had been uninjured, it wouldn’t have been a contest; Deric was bigger, stronger, and much, much younger. It pissed the detective off that a simple stupid misstep was going to cost him everything here. Another rumble drew his eye away from Maelstrom. The sand walls were dangerously close now, probably about 20 yards from wall to wall remained of the battleground.

Also appearing in the edge of Deric’s vision was something that gave him a flash of hope.

“Last words?” Deric rasped with a snarl. “Yeah, I got your ‘last words’.” Taking as much of a deep breath as he could with Maelstrom’s weight across his torso, Deric let out a shrill whistle.

A confused look momentarily crossed the Norwegian’s face before a grey and white blur knocked him off Deric’s chest.

Deric gasped, finally able to take a full breath now that Maelstrom’s weight was removed from his diaphragm. The action elicited a sharp lance of pain from his wounded shoulder, almost taking that same breath away. The young detective directed his gaze in the direction the blur had headed with the mad scientist. He saw the dust settling around Ghost who stood hunched over the prone form of Maelstrom, jaws wrapped around the Norwegian’s neck.

The madman’s eyes blazed with fury as he ranted and raved; in fact, Deric thought he saw literal foam at the corners of Maelstrom’s mouth.

“Release me at once, you foul beast,” Maelstrom bellowed. “I am the master of this realm; all that happens here must be according to my will. Without me this place would be nothing… Release me or I will obliterate you and all who…”

Deric had had enough.

“Ghost…” Deric barked. The giant wolf looked up at him, Maelstrom’s neck still firmly grasped in his jaws. The motion caused the wolf’s quarry to turn his attention and his insane ravings towards the detective. Deric heard none of it.

“Kill him.”

The command cut through the space as sharply as the blade at Deric’s side. It had the secondary effect of cutting through Maelstrom’s insanity as the finality of the situation dawned on the madman.

“Wait, wait,” he pleaded. “I can…” Maelstrom’s words were cut off by the violent snapping and wrenching of Ghost’s massive jaws on the fragile bones in his neck. As his life was violently ended, the Norwegian’s body exploded into the fine black powder that formed the matter of the hellish dreamscape. Deric could hear the whimpers and whines of the mongrels he and his pack had struggled against as they too faded from existence.

With that done, Deric returned to a prone position and looked up at the red sky. The sand walls were getting taller as he could feel the outcropping beneath him melt back into the sand from which it had been formed. Deric could feel a slight breeze rush through the canyon that had been his battlefield. The scouring walls were close enough now that the farmboy could see the individual grains of sand as they rocketed skyward.

Soft footsteps broke Deric’s reverie as Ghost padded into view and laid down next to his master.

“Good boy,” Deric said, scratching behind the giant wolf’s ears, which made the giant wolf’s tail wag happily. Ghost reached over and began to lick Deric’s face as the wolf disintegrated in fine black sand as well. The particles floated into the ether, probably to join the looming walls. “See you on the other side.”

Another rumble made Deric shift his gaze to the tops of the walls as the black sand crested and began to fall, rushing towards him in order to fill the space between the walls. As the black tide raced towards him, all Deric could do was close his eyes and wait for the sand to envelop him.

Joe Kerr

VILE Trickster
Best answers
Known Aliases
Joey, Joseph,
Color #
As he ran across the pitch black sand, Joseph was aware of several shouts of surprise interspersed with seemingly muffled explosions. Before he could ponder more, the sand in front of him exploded, cutting off his view of Deric and Patty.

Ominous laughter filled the area as Joseph gritted his teeth and opened his eyes to see none other than Dr Gunnar Maelstrom standing in front of him. The mad scientist was arrayed in gold armor with a matching silver cape and gold helmet; in his right hand was a beautiful gold-hilted sword that seemed to glow with power. The most startling change about Maelstrom’s appearance however was how he now seemed to have the physique of a bodybuilder or a Greek, no, Norse god..

“Foolish jester, you dare challenge me in my realm? Bow before Odin, king of the gods!”

Behind his mask, Joseph raised an eyebrow, “deluded much?”

“I see that you still do not understand your place. Allow me to show you…” without further warning, Maelstrom moved with surprising speed, swinging his sword and slicing through a third of the clones.

Joseph and the remaining eight doppelgangers immediately scattered and surrounded Maelstrom in a circle; each one eyeing the glowing blade warily.

“Allow me to enlighten you Mr Kerr, this blade is the fabled Ragnarok, almighty blade of the king of gods himself. With this, I shall smite you and your friends, and then finally I shall stand upon a heap of your fallen bodies, mocking Carmen as she bows in defeat before me.”

The mention of his employer and dear friend galvanised Joseph into action as he and the clones silently charged Maelstrom, each one flicking their hands to brandish daggers as they ran.

With great ease, Maelstrom dodged those that lunged at him; his armor deflecting the few blades that were thrown.

“Pathetic fool, you bore me!”

Dodging another lunge, Maelstrom spun with a stiff kick, throwing Joseph into a few of his clones; with another swing of Ragnarok, four more clones turned back into sand, followed by another two more after another swing.

“You’re not much of a challenge, are you? Perhaps my Valkyrie will be more certainly will be enjoyable to break her to my will…” he grinned sadistically.

Seeing red, Joseph and the remaining two clones charged at Maelstrom, this time weaving in and out of the fray, ducking the swinging great sword as they took turns delivered small slashes to the unarmored parts of Mael’s body.

“ do have some fight left in you, how typical of the cornered dog.”

Choosing to retort via actions rather than words, Joseph and his clones nodded at each other before once again weaving and lunging into battle.

This time, Joseph dived under the swinging blade, grabbed a fistful of the ebony sand and then tossed it into the madman’s face . As Maelstrom seemed to stumble backwards in an attempt to clear his vision, the trio of rogues struck hard and fast, strategically stabbing and slashing through his lower ligaments.

With the injuries taking their toll, Maelstrom fell to his knees, resting his weight on Ragnarok. Before he could move further, he felt cold steel against his jugular.

“Bravo. So you do know how to play dirty, how fitting for a rogue. A pity then...that you don’t have the guts to kill me.”

In response, the pressure against his throat increased while another blade simultaneously stabbed his spine. “Care to revise your bets, Maelstrom?”

Turning toward the rogue that spoke, Maelstrom stared straight into Joseph’s eyes and smiled. Suddenly, a figure began to rise out of the sand beside Joseph; it slowly morphed and changed shape until it became that of Carmen herself.

Joseph had to catch himself as he started into her piercing gaze. “Mr Kerr, I am highly disappointed with you. Have you forgotten your oath? I expected this kind of barbaric behavior from others within VILE, but not from you; you were supposed to share my ideals...or have I misjudged you?”

Letting out a growl, Joseph pressed the blade even closer toward Maelstrom’s neck. “Don’t you dare even try to use that trick. I won’t have you mess with my head again!”

Maelstrom smiled ominously before summoning another figure, this time into the figure of Patty Larcerny, replete with ‘puppy dog pout’.

“Joey, please don’t do this, it’s not who you are; don’t become a killer like Maelstrom.”

Joseph shook his head to clear his thoughts, but that simple moment of distraction proved fatal. With a mighty shove, Maelstrom threw Joseph off him and rose to his full height; The Jester stared in horror as the wounds he had inflicted on the madman began to heal themselves before his eyes.

“Fool! Your weapons cannot harm me in my mind.”

Before he could move, Maelstrom cleaved the last two clones with one swift swing and then moved the tip of the blade toward Joseph’s neck.

“Your belief in the sanctity of life makes you weak, just like that traitorous wench you serve. I, on the other hand, have no such foolish qualms. Here, I shall end your life, and the rest of VILE’s. It will then be reborn and remade into my image, as will the world eventually.”

As he gloated, Maelstrom realized that the jester in front of him was uncharacteristically silent.. “What’s the matter? Where are your witty retorts? Are you paralyzed with fear? No last words? A pity…”

Maelstrom moved to give the killing blow, only to freeze as the Jester in front of him began to laugh louder and louder; it wasn’t the laugh itself that was unnerving, much rather, it was the fact that the voice laughing...was his own.

Curiously, Maelstrom removed the mask from the rogue, only to stumble back in surprise as he was greeted by his own.

“That’s my master plan? Remake VILE and the world into my own image? No wonder I’m doomed to fail...I’m such an idiot….” Faux-Mael lamented dramatically as he slowly rose back to full height.

Real Maelstrom shook with unbridled rage, “HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME! IMPUDENT TRICKSTER, PERISH!”

Blinded by anger, Maelstrom’s swing became erratic, allowing pseudo-Maelstrom to juke and dodge with ease. “How the mighty Odin has fallen, hiding behind his blade like a lowly coward,” the fake-Maelstrom taunted as he ducked yet another beheading blow. “Perhaps I am the real Maelstrom and it is you that are the lowly copy”.

“SHUT UP!” With a swing of Ragnarok, the previously summoned Patty and Carmen figures were turned back to sand. Maelstrom paused and drew a deep breath before stabbing Ragnarok into the sand. ‘“For your impudence Loki, I’ll make sure you’ll be the last to die, so you can suffer through the special hell of seeing your family die with your own eyes.”

The two Maelstroms charged at each other, meeting each other in a clash that sounded like thunder. The shorter, quicker, fake Maelstrom dodging and delivering some cheap shots. As he tried to come in to deliver a sleeper hold, the real Maelstrom turned around suddenly and tossed a fistful of sand in his eyes.

Fake Maelstrom was then unceremoniously slammed into the ground and stuck with several elbows across his now cracked face; the facade began to crumble away and reveal the bleeding face of Joseph Kerr.

Maelstrom moved to pick the Jester up before giving him a hard kick, sending him flying into the hardened wall of sand that surrounded them.

As the battered body of Joseph Kerr lay bleeding against the wall, iron spikes sprang from the previously flat surface and began to pierce the Jester who cried out in pain.

“You will regret the day you mocked me, Mr Kerr.”

Joseph’s only response was to mumble something in a half-groan.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What did you say again?” Maelstrom moved closer to gloat over the fallen VILE trickster.

Amid laboured breaths, Joseph managed to slowly but surely grind out the words, “Baker’s dozen...”

Widening his eyes, Maelstrom didn’t have any time to act on the implications before he was pierced through the heart with Ragnarok, the glowing sword being held by the last Kerr clone. Joseph shared a smile with the last clone as the sand began to swirl around them...then everything turned dark.


The VILEiest VILE to ever VILE a VILE
Best answers
Known Aliases
Nebuchadnezzar (Neb) Ullyss (formerly Kid Kidman), Kitty, Seryy Pripyat
Color #
(Guest star @Deric Storm and @Vic the Slick as Maelstrom)

Neb skidded to a halt as the black sand whirled into a dome around her. When she tried to will it aside, she found her will was not enough. Frustrated, she manifested an even angrier, denser swarm of bees instead as a malevolent presence formed behind her.

“All right you fucking bastard, you want to play?” Neb hissed as she turned to face it. “Because I’m about ready to-”

The words stuck in her throat.

Behind her stood the man with glasses, watching impassively as masked men in white emerged from the shadows, their hands glinting with instruments and syringes.

“Why do you run, little one?” he asked softly, his flat Russian affect stealing the air from her lungs.

Hundreds of bees burst back into black sand and rained down upon her.

“You aren’t here. This isn't real.” she growled as she struggled to keep the rest. The scent of disinfectant, cigarettes, and her own stale sweat permeated the air as it grew ever colder.

“How would you know what’s real?” he replied in the calm, measured tone of an adult with an irrational child.

It’s Maelstrom, it’s Maelstrom, Neb reassured herself as she pulled her remaining swarm close, but as the men in white began to encircle her, the whole of her screamed with terror.

"Because I can do this!” She cried as she blasted her bees out from all sides. They immediately mobbed her tormentors, seeking out their eyes and ears on her command. As the men clawed wildly at their faces she felt the heat of defiance bubbling beneath her skin at the sight of it. This was her anger made manifest, and she pushed forward to unleash it upon the Man with Glasses.

“And this!"

With the stab of her finger the remaining hoard poured over him until he was obscured from view, while the mass of white coats crumpled behind her, entombed in living hives. For a triumphant heartbeat she wondered what her teammates would think of her splendid apiarian army.

In the next beat the air froze, dissolving it in an instant.

“This is my domain!” Cried the man with glasses, and the newly freed lab coats seized upon their prey with new determination.

Even though the true man with glasses had never raised his voice, the break in character was not enough to override Neb’s growing tide of fear. Her momentary rally disappeared with the last dying bee, and the sight of gloved hands reaching for her, the masked faces, the latexed grip on her shoulders, the needles in her skin, struck something deeper than she could reason with. Her senses began to fail, but as they did, something ominously familiar sparked in her depths.

‘Wait, no, I don’t want-’

A syringe stabbed her neck, and the girl’s rage ignited.

She grabbed the man’s hand and sank her teeth in deep, then hurled him against the others. A knife formed in her hand, and she buried it in whatever was closest. She couldn’t see the blood or hear their screams. She wasn’t there, and the men in white quickly succumbed to the feral animal that remained.

Yet the bloody tangle of bodies that should have formed upon the cold, black sand was missing. As one hit the ground, it simply faded away for another to take its place. The absurdity of it was enough to grant the girl a brief flicker of sanity, and with it Neb targeted Maelstrom beyond the crush. Then she tore through the white-clad bodies, dagger in hand, to personally introduce him to her grief.

“Silly, silly child,” the accented tone of Maelstrom’s true voice flowed maliciously as he grabbed her wrist, wrenching it behind the small woman’s back; this caused Neb to drop the blade. “You haven’t learned much, have you? You cannot hurt me here; you are as fictional as this figment. You’re not even a real person... you’re only a shadow, and a pale one at that.”

The mad Norwegian shoved the small form towards the orderlies. “Take her and finish her. No more interruptions.”

What could be best described as a ripple flowed through everything - the walls, the floor, the ceiling... everything but himself and the slight woman. Maelstrom could feel the world losing its cohesion and deep down, he knew who was responsible....



The VILEiest VILE to ever VILE a VILE
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Known Aliases
Nebuchadnezzar (Neb) Ullyss (formerly Kid Kidman), Kitty, Seryy Pripyat
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“Impossible,” the mad doctor thought aloud. “I control the throne, I control the world.” He nervously glanced around, trying to spot the red woman before she could ruin his latest plan. When he couldn’t locate Carmen, Maelstrom turned his gaze to the other person here.

“You...” he growled. He stalked menacingly towards Neb, his form melting back into the image of the Norwegian psychopath. The visage of the bespectacled form pooled at his feet like a greasy puddle. “Once I eliminate you and sever her link to this place, I’ll regain control. I’ll just make my way to the next subject.”

After reaching down to pick up the blade the girl dropped, the mad doctor grasped at Neb’s wrist. As he pulled the girl’s arm to position her for the fatal strike, a bracelet appeared on the once naked flesh.

‘What is this?’ the madman thought, his focus now entirely on the sudden appearing jewelry.

Another thought suddenly formed. ‘A link perhaps... I can follow it back to its source.’

“Where did you get this?” Maelstrom demanded, holding the wrist with the bracelet in front of Neb’s face. “Did she give it to you?” he grilled, his tone becoming more frantic. “Tell me how to find her. I have to find her... I need to know.... I need to know.... TELL ME NOW OR I WILL REND YOUR MIND ASUNDER FOR THE ANSWER!!!” Foam flew from his raving mouth. The light gleamed off of the dagger as he threatened the smaller woman with it.

Neb was barely aware of the situation at first, catching only fits and starts of it through mindless rage. Only once the Man with Glasses melted into a pool on the floor did the red leave her eyes. Maelstrom had her by the arm and was shaking her, screaming about something on her wrist.

Neb set eyes on the bracelet, and as it finally crystallized what was going on, she froze in horror. Somehow the thing had entered this world with her, and was now creating a direct link to Carmen.

What the-?! Get the fuck out of here!!

The woman frantically clawed at the bracelet to remove it but her fingers phased through it as if it were a mirage. A fresh wave of dread washed over as Neb realized the bracelet wasn’t actually here to remove. It was back in the real world, being projected through her. The only to remove it from here...was to remove herself.

Maelstrom seemed to have grasped this as well, and he quickly abandoned his plan to kill her to assault her mind instead. As he tore away at her defenses, Neb felt the spark again, but she fought to suppress it. If she blacked out now, the madman could gain access to what he sought, yet the call to oblivion was almost as strong as Maelstrom's effort. Between the two she was running out of time to act, but her options were few. Any overt attempts would be quickly countered. It was his domain, after all.

But that could change.

She too could feel his grip weakening on this world, leaving it open to other, stronger ideas as to how it should operate. Out of the corner of her eye Neb spied the greasy remnants of Maelstrom’s disguise still oozing at their feet. She was determined to make it flammable through the sheer force of will, and as the madman poured the totality of his focus upon unlocking her secrets, the girl sank her rage into the imprisoning sand, until it was saturated with combustible fuel.

Before she and the rest of her comrades had hurtled into this final battle, Commander Monaghan had asked if dying here was really the end. The question had gone unanswered. Now it was irrelevant.

I should have died this way fourteen years ago anyway, Neb thought with a grim smile as a lit cigarette lighter appeared in her free hand.

She’d gotten extra time to live, the majority of which Carmen had given her as a gift. Carmen had given her everything. It was time to return the favour.

“Thank you,” Neb murmured as she let the lighter slip from her fingertips to the flammable miasma below. It burst alight in a violent flash of heat, and the air roared as fury met fury. Then, silence. Slowly the imprisoning sand dome fell away, leaving behind nothing more than a shell of fused, black glass.


The VILEiest VILE to ever VILE a VILE
Best answers
Known Aliases
Nebuchadnezzar (Neb) Ullyss (formerly Kid Kidman), Kitty, Seryy Pripyat
Color #
Official Ultramarine Outro

Thanks for reading. <3
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