Ronin Toad: Redux

Discussion in 'The Studio' started by Nace Bilby, Feb 11, 2015.

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  1. Zack

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    (I wonder when this takes place? I haven't seen a CD player in a while.)
     
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  2. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    2002.
     
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  3. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    Babies, Birds, and Delgado Family Disputes, Part One​

    Disclaimer: Same as before.

    Author’s Note: The characters of Brittany, Quinn, and Daria were created by Red Witch.

    ---

    The Pit, Medical Center
    Psyche-Out, Beach Head, Scarlett, Roadblock
    19 February 2002, 1315


    Psyche-Out would find Roadblock sipping coffee with Beach Head and Scarlett.

    “Okay, I think he’s figured it out by now.” Psyche-Out sighed, “With three hours of work between the two of us to drill that into him.”

    “I’m sorry I made all those dents in your wall.” Roadblock said.

    “With your head.” Beach Head quipped, “You’ve got to have a skull as hard as concrete to want to raise that boy.”

    “Beach Head!” Scarlett admonished.

    “The kid drives me crazy sometimes.” Roadblock replied.

    “Well,” Psyche-Out replied, “At least you stopped banging your head before you got a concussion.”

    “Only because you made me leave the room,” Roadblock replied, “Why would he do something like that?”

    “I think the boy uses stealing to cover up some emotional issues.” Psyche-Out replied.

    “I think the kid’s nuts.” Beach Head snapped.

    “Beach Head!” Scarlett admonished, “I wouldn’t call him that. What did he do anyway?”

    “He stole 5000 batteries from all around the base for me.” Roadblock said.

    “Oh-kay, I think I’ll call that a little odd.” Scarlett replied.

    “I’ve come to the conclusion,” Roadblock said with a sigh, “That the boy has a bit of confusion.”

    “Well,” Psyche-Out added, “It’s obvious the boy’s got a problem with stealing. In fact he probably has some form of kleptomania.”

    “PROBABLY has kleptomania?” Roadblock said.

    “He’s nuts!” Beach Head declared.

    “Todd is not nuts.” Psyche-Out stated.

    “I mean you, Spaced-Out!” Beach Head snapped, “You counseling that little lunatic? What a laugh! It’s like the Mad Hatter counseling Screwy the Screwloose Loon!”

    “So where’s the kid?” Roadblock said, “You didn’t leave him in your office did you?”

    “He’ll probably steal the light bulbs next.” Beach Head quipped.

    “No, I thought you might want a break from the kid for a few hours so Shipwreck said he’d…” Psyche Out began.

    “Shipwreck?” Roadblock exclaimed, “You left him alone with SHIPWRECK!”

    “The Napoleon of Nuts if there ever was one!” Beach Head replied.

    “I hope Althea’s there,” Scarlett replied, “She’s the only sane one in the family.”

    “And believe me that’s a frightening statement.” Beach Head replied.

    “Well I suppose it couldn’t hurt if I left him there for an hour,” Roadblock replied, “I mean how much damage could he do there? Don’t answer that.”

    “Agents Hart and Todd are with him as well.” Psyche-Out said, walking out of the room, “And we can have a talk later about his progress.”

    “Where are you going?” Beach Head asked.

    “I’ve got to go buy some batteries. You never know when disaster will strike.” Psyche-Out replied.

    Roadblock sat there. “Maybe I’ll pick him up in two hours.”

    ---

    Agent Phillips,

    I’ll clarify my last few reports with a single sentence. Yes it’s all true. I can’t possibly make any of this up.

    From what I’ve observed Roadblock is making progress with the kid minus a few setbacks. Of most recent vintage involving the theft of 5000 batteries from all around the base. The base psychologist, Psyche-Out, is doing his best and actually both myself and Agent Todd are going to have a chat with him.

    Of late I observe Agent Todd is an entirely trustworthy individual. She seems genuinely ok with working with us regarding the Tolansky Case. I have no misgivings about her whatsoever.

    Agent Hart


    ---
     
  4. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    The Pit, Delgado Residence
    Shipwreck, Todd, Kate, and Conrad
    19 February 2002, 1317


    Todd felt the wind rush through his hair as the Army jeep drove down the road, happily he said, “It’s real nice of you to let me come over.”

    “Well you and my daughter have been friends for a while now,” Shipwreck replied as he drove.

    Conrad leaned over to whisper something in Kate’s ear, “I think this is a good development for the kid.”

    “It’s only natural she should have you over.” Shipwreck continued, “Can’t think of why she hasn’t invited you over before. Ah, here we are.”

    They pulled into a cul-de-sac where a medium sized gray building with a boat on cinderblocks on the front lawn stood sentinel as the only house in the cul-de-sac.

    “It’s not fancy but it’s home sweet home.” Shipwreck said as he parked the jeep.

    Looks normal enough, minus the boat. Kate thought as they stepped out of the vehicle and towards the house.

    “Welcome to Casa Delgado!” Shipwreck said and flung the door open.

    As soon as Shipwreck opened the door he was tackled in the face by a green plumed parrot with a yellow plumed head.

    Ok, the parrot’s a little weird but…Kate thought.

    “AWWWWKKK! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? POLLY WANTS A PSYCHIATRIST!”

    Shipwreck spit out a mouthful of green and yellow feathers before commenting, “Calm down birdbrain, I was only gone for fifteen minutes!”

    Ok. Parrots are known to talk, but I’ve never heard of one demanding a psychiatrist before. Kate thought.

    “What did they do this time? Are they playing with explosives again?” Shipwreck asked.

    “Wait, did you just say explosives? And who is he talking about?” Kate yelped with surprise.

    “Worse!” the bird called out, flapping around the room in circles, “MAKEUP!!!”

    With a sigh Shipwreck said, “Don’t mind Polly. He has a nervous condition.”

    “How do you think I got it!? Oh, I know, by living in this nuthouse!” Polly said as he flapped around the room.

    “How does a male parrot have a female name?” Conrad asked.

    “Forget the gender mix up,” Kate replied, “I’m wondering what Shipwreck’s talking about for one…”

    “That bird can talk? Cool!” Todd commented.

    “Polly is a very smart bird.” Shipwreck replied.

    “If Polly was really smart, Polly would’ve joined the circus! It’s quieter!” Polly screeched as he flapped around.

    As they walked past the foyer and into the living room, which, like every other room in the house was decorated with a cheerful nautical motif Kate noticed a large bell mounted to the nearest wall.

    Shipwreck went to ring the bell and shouted, “GIRLS GET IN HERE! WE HAVE A GUEST!”

    Three nearly identical looking ten year old girls walked into the room just then, clad in identical pink tops and blue skirts. They had long black hair and blue eyes and minus their hairstyles they couldn’t be told apart.

    “I’m Daria,” the triplet with the ponytail on the right said.

    “I’m Quinn,” the triplet with the ponytail on the left said.

    “I’m Brittany,” the third triplet with pigtails said.

    “This is Todd,” Shipwreck replied, and then indicated the two agents with him, “And this is Agent Hart and Agent Todd, all three of whom you’ve heard all about.”

    Then, with a raised eyebrow Shipwreck turned to the girls, who giggled, “Ok, that’s enough. Now what did you do to Polly this time? You better not have been using him in one of your experiments again.”

    “We were just playing house,” Quinn said innocently.

    Ok, they seem normal enough. Kate thought as she looked at the three girls.

    “Oh Lord that’s even worse.” Shipwreck replied, rolling his eyes.

    He turned to Conrad, Kate, and Todd and said, “The girls are very smart, but they tend to be a bit hyper at times.”

    Shipwreck paused for a moment before saying, “Wait a minute! What about your brother?”

    "We put him down for his nap." Brittany said.

    Why does the way she said that make me nervous? Kate thought.

    "And no, we didn't use duct tape. We could never do that to our brother." Brittany added.

    "You used it on your last babysitter." Shipwreck countered.

    "That was completely justified and you know it." Quinn replied.

    "It was Beach Head after all." Brittany added.

    Conrad chuckled only for Kate to elbow him in the ribs, fixing him with a glare.

    "What, I happen to find it funny that these three girls used duct tape on Beach Head." Conrad replied.

    "Oh God you're going native..." Kate replied.

    "Oh yeah," Shipwreck conceded to his daughters' point.

    "Nice parenting." Kate remarked.

    "Look, I'm going to try to give Polly some Valium so he gets off the ceiling." Shipwreck said as he grabbed a broom from a nearby closet, before turning to the girls, "Why don't you show Todd your room, and be nice about it. I mean it."

    "AWK! Polly want a psychiatrist! Forget it! Polly want some grain alcohol!" Polly said as he clung to the ceiling.

    "Well," Conrad said, "We can either watch Shipwreck try to talk a severely disturbed parrot off the ceiling or venture off into the dark and frightening unknown."

    "Dark and frightening unknown?" Kate commented.

    "The Triplets' room." Conrad said, "The bedroom of three of preteen girls has got to be a dark and frightening unknown."

    "Conrad," Kate laughed, "They're three preteen girls. How dangerous could their room possibly be?"

    "I gather from your response, mademoiselle, we are about to find out." Conrad replied, "And between the two of us my inner alarms are screeching louder than our fine green and evidently alcoholic friend on the ceiling..."

    "Come. On. Bird." Shipwreck said as he stood up on one of the arms the couch on his toes, holding the broom, trying to get the bird clinging to the ceiling down.

    "Conrad, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about..." Kate replied as she headed up the stairs, Conrad on her heels.

    "Well, mademoiselle," Conrad replied, "My gut instinct is telling me there is a lot to worry about."

    "Conrad, this isn't Africa and the French Foreign Legion." Kate replied as she opened the door to the Triplet's room, "I'm sure there's nothing...

    "AGGGHHH!!!!" came a scream as Todd hopped out of the room, narrowly avoiding a collision with Kate, baby Claudius in his arms and heading for the staircase.

    Conrad smirked as Kate threw herself to the floor to duck just as Todd hopped over her. “Come back here with our dolly!” the Triplets shouted and Kate barely managed to roll out of the way as the Triplets chased Todd down the stairs.

    “What just happened!?” Kate said as Conrad helped her stand back up.

    “It appears that Todd was carrying baby Claudius dressed up in a pink frilly dress and what looked like bows in his hair.” Conrad replied.

    “I saw that!” Kate snapped, “I’m just trying to figure out what caused that?”

    Kate heard the sounds of the triplets chasing Todd through the house downstairs. “Something tells me that we’ll never know, but we’re also heading right into a fair amount of zaniness.” Conrad quipped.

    ---

    To Be Continued...
     
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2015
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  5. Julie Justice

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    Great, as usual, Nace, and very humorous, too. Hahahaha. ;) I can't wait to see what happens next. Like if poor Polly will ever get off the ceiling, and if we will ever find out how the bird can actually TALK!! :)
     
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  6. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    Glad I made you laugh with this one, @Julie Justice. Working on the second part of this chapter through the week.
     
  7. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    Babies, Birds, and Delgado Family Disputes, Part Two
    Disclaimer: Same as before…

    ---

    The Pit, Delgado Residence
    Todd Tolansky, Quinn, Daria and Brittany Delgado
    19 February 2002, 1345


    "Come on." Quinn said, taking Todd's hand and leading him upstairs to a their room.

    This has got to be the strangest room I've ever seen.Todd thought as he walked in. It looks like someone took parts of Dexter's Laboratory, painted them pink and shoved them into a little room crammed with stuffed toys.

    “This is our room where we sleep and play,” Quinn began.

    “And do our experiments,” Brittany grinned.

    “That’s nice,” Todd said with a sigh, looking around the room.

    His eyes fell upon a picture on one of three desks. It was of a blue skinned woman with jet black hair.

    “Is that your mom?” Todd asked.

    “Yup,” Quinn said, “Before she went away.”

    “She didn’t die!” Brittany chided, “Stop making it sound so dramatic!”

    Daria explained to Todd, “Our mom ran off with some guy from Atlantis.”

    “You mean Atlanta?” Todd said, brow furrowed, “Like down south?”

    “No, Atlantis, as in under the sea.” Daria explained.

    “O-kay…” Todd replied, “So what do you like to…OW!”

    Todd yelped as electrical shock flowed through him, “What did you do that for?”

    He rubbed his bottom shortly after the shock, as Brittany held a taser in her hand, she advanced on him and said, “I wanted to see how well you conduct electricity.”

    “Hey! I’m telling!” Daria shouted, “Daddy told us not to use that on guests!”

    “Yeah!” Todd replied, only to find himself dodging a jet of flame.

    “Of course he didn’t say anything about fire…” Daria said, with a smile.

    “You girls are seriously whacko!” Todd replied.

    “His reflexes are good,” Daria noted, “Take note of that Quinn.”

    “Sisters I believe we must do further experimentation.” Quinn said.

    “I’m not letting you do anything!” Todd said, and hopped out of the way.

    “Maybe he wants to play with our dolly.” Brittany said, picking something off one of the three beds.

    Oh. My. God. Todd thought as he saw in a frilly pink dress with bows in his hair. There was some makeup splattered on his face.

    “What are you doing to that kid, yo!” Todd shouted, grabbing hold of Claudius, “You trying to scar him for life!?”

    “Give me back my dolly!” Brittany pouted.

    “No way!” Todd shouted, “Come on Little C, I gotta get you outta here.”

    The door opened as Todd hopped towards it and he found himself face to face with Kate who promptly threw herself on the floor to avoid yet another collision with Todd Tolansky.

    “Come back here with our dolly!” the Triplets shouted as they chased Todd, running towards Shipwreck who had only just managed to get Polly off the ceiling.

    “What’s going on!?” Shipwreck demanded.

    Todd held up the baby and Shipwreck gulped, “Yeesh! Run kid run!!”

    He and Todd raced away from the Triplets as fast as their legs could carry them, and towards Claudius’ bedroom. As soon as they got inside Shipwreck locked the door behind him.

    “I can’t leave them alone for one minute.” Shipwreck groaned.

    “Don’t worry about it Shipwreck,” Todd said, as he wiped away the makeup, “I’ll fix it.”

    “There are some outfits over there,” Shipwreck said, pointing as he barred the door. Todd nodded and went to change Claudius’ outfit.

    With a sigh he added, “Ever since their mother...took off they’ve been impossible.”

    “Okay. Now that’s better!” Todd replied, as he surveyed his handiwork, “Check it out! Now Little C is stylin’.”

    Claudius now wore a yellow shirt with mini jeans that were a bit too large for him together with a baseball cap turned backwards, sunglasses and some gold jewelry.

    “My son the future rap star…” Shipwreck said, eyes rolling.

    Claudius giggled as Shipwreck went over to fix his clothing, “Come here Claudie.”

    “How did he get the name Claudius anyway?” Todd asked.

    “Claudius was the name of a great Roman emperor,” Shipwreck began, “It was also the name of my great uncle who was the navigator on the RMS Titanic. Let’s just say nautical disasters run in the family.”

    Oh-kay. Todd thought.

    “There we are,” Shipwreck said, as he finished straightening up Claudius’ clothing.

    “Oh, before I forget, do you know your kids have a flamethrower?” Todd replied.

    “Oh no!” Shipwreck groaned, handing Claudius to Todd and opening the door, “I thought I got rid of that thing. Girls! Okay, line up, I want to….ACK!!”

    ---

    The Pit, Delgado Residence
    Conrad and Kate
    19 February 2002, 1352


    “Girls! Okay, line up, I want to….ACK!!” Shipwreck’s voice echoed up the stairs where Conrad had helped Kate to her feet.

    The shout had been accompanied by the sound of hissing air. Conrad and Kate looked down the stairs, and then at each other before running down the stairs just in time to see Shipwreck covered in whipped cream.

    With a glare at the three giggling girls he headed into the kitchen with a whip cream spray can of his own.

    “That’s it! You are in for it now! Take that!” He shouted and sprayed the girl’s with whipped cream.

    “EEEEEE!” The girls screamed and retaliated right as Kate and Conrad ran down the stairs.

    “Conrad! Look out!” Kate shouted as Quinn sprayed whipped cream. Kate jumped between Conrad and Quinn and promptly caught a spray of whipped cream in the face.

    “Now, petite filles, you leave me only one choice.” Conrad began, calmly as he strode into the kitchen, returning with two cans of whipped cream.

    With his thumbs he popped the lids off of each can, brandishing them like an Old West pistolero and spraying whipped cream towards the Triplets.

    “Kate! Catch!” Conrad said, tossing one can to Kate who promptly caught it.

    Oh dear God this family is insane! Kate thought as she ducked behind the sofa, before Brittany could nail her with a jet of whipped cream.

    Daria sprayed Todd with some whipped cream only for Conrad to spray her. Then Brittany sprayed Conrad with her own can.

    Despite herself Kate couldn't help but laugh, and shot a spray of whipped cream at Brittany only to have Daria and Quinn converge on her. Then Shipwreck and Conrad turned their own cans on Daria and Quinn.

    Claudius giggled with glee in Todd’s arms as everyone in the house ran all around the place, spraying each other with whipped cream.

    “AKKK!” Todd shouted, “Stop it with the whipped cream already! AGH! OK! I warned you!”

    Todd spit a small quantity of slime at Quinn.

    “DADDY! TODD SLIMED ME!” Quinn shouted.

    “Impeccable marksmanship.” Conrad quipped.

    “Don’t encourage him!” Kate glared as she wiped a bit of whipped cream off of her face.

    Meanwhile Shipwreck snapped back to Quinn, “Well, you shouldn’t have squirted him with whipped cream, then.”

    “Go get ‘em kid!” Shipwreck shouted.

    “Nice parenting!” Kate snapped only to narrowly dodge a squirt of whipped cream.

    Todd smirked and spat slime onto the three girls. “That’s for the flamethrower!”

    He set Claudius down, grabbing another can of whipped cream, “And this is for the electric shocks!”

    Claudius squealed with delight, getting whipped cream everywhere.

    “What’s going on here now?” Althea shouted as she opened the front door, and observing the chaos added, “Oh no, Dad, what did you do this time?”

    “They started it!” Shipwreck pointed at the Triplets.

    “I see you guys are settling disputes in the traditional Delgado manner,” Althea groaned.

    Reverting to a stern parental figure, Shipwreck admonished, “I want you girls to apologize for how you treated Todd! He’s a guest in our house! You should be ashamed of the way you treated him!”

    “We’re sorry.” The girls apologized.

    “Now first I want you girls to clean up this mess. And I want the flamethrower and any little weapon you’ve built right now. After you clean up this mess we’ll discuss your punishment. Understand?” Shipwreck replied.

    “Yes sir,” they said.

    “Althea why don’t you help Todd get cleaned up and hang out with him for a bit?” Shipwreck said.

    “Come on, Todd.” Althea said, leading him towards the bathroom.

    ---

    To Be Continued…
     
  8. Invader

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    That was most entertaining to read, very well written as well.
     
  9. Zack

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    Nice addition. You should do a separate post giving us a brief bio of all these people. Really like catching up on these story updates but get confused sometimes.
     
  10. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    @Zack, I'll do that. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll divide it with X-men: Evolution, Original characters, G.I. joe Characters and Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego characters.
     
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  11. Jade

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    That's a splendid idea...not joking!:)
     
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  12. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    Babies, Birds, and Delgado Family Disputes, Part Three​

    Disclaimer: Same as before. Again, many thanks to Red Witch for creating the Misfitverse for all of us to write in. The idea of the Delgados resolving family disputes with whipcream fights was her idea.

    ---

    The Pit, Delgado Household
    Todd Tolansky and Althea Delgado
    19 February 2002, 1433


    Althea handed Todd a towel as soon as they were in the bathroom. With a sigh she began, “This is why I never invited you here.”

    “They ain’t that bad.” Todd replied as he wiped some whipped cream off of his face.

    He laughed and said, “Hey back when I lived with the Brotherhood we used to do this kind of stuff all the time.”

    Todd looked away uncomfortably after he had brought up the Brotherhood.

    “You don’t owe them anything, you know.” Althea replied.

    “I know that,” Todd said, with an audible gulp, “But sometimes I still remember the good times, when I thought we were a family. I miss them and it hurts.”

    “Yeah, I know how that is.” Althea replied, “Come on, let’s go in my room.”

    Todd followed Althea towards her bedroom. Well this is the opposite of the Triplets’ bedroom. Posters of all kinds of boy bands. A radio. Bean bag chairs. CDs on the desk. It looks so normal.

    “I guess you kinda figured out why my mom left, huh?” Althea said as she plopped down onto one beanbag, “She didn’t want anything more to do with this crazy family!”

    “That can’t be true,” Todd said, shaking his head as he sat down in the beanbag across from her.

    “It is,” Althea sighed, “And we’re not that nuts! I mean, we are, but in a good way. I mean it’s not like my Dad beats us or anything. Although I wish he’d give the triplets a smack every now and then! When all’s said and done he’s a good dad.”

    “Your sisters said she left for some guy under the sea…” Todd began gently.

    “That was just an excuse,” Althea snapped, “She didn’t really wanna get away from my dad. She wanted to get away...she wanted to get away from us.”

    “Look, if you don’t wanna talk about it…” Todd began.

    “No, I don’t mind telling you the story.” Althea began, “I’m just surprised you haven’t heard it already, what with the way gossip flows around here.”

    Todd said nothing, he had heard the story but decided saying nothing was the best thing at the moment.

    “My mom used to be a Cobra soldier who volunteered for some genetic experiment. She was supposed to be an amphibious stormtrooper. But something went wrong and she couldn’t survive out of the water. She got sick of being a lab rat and escaped and my Dad and the rest of the Joe team saved her. For a while she lived on an island so she could be safe from Cobra. My Dad visited there whenever he could and one day she and my Dad got together and I wound up the result. So she married and moved in with him. They got a mini-aquarium so she could rest and even figured a way that she could stay out of water for a while, other than wearing a diving helmet full of water. Life was pretty good, I guess. Even when the triplets were born. She took care of us and even did some missions with the Joe team. And then just about over a year ago...well Claudius was born. Dad took his mutation well, but my Mom…”

    Althea paused for a moment, taking a couple deep breaths before she continued, “It’s not like Claudius could help it! It was just the way he was born. Then there was this mission that had the Joes contact Atlantis...don’t ask about the details, they’re classified. Well needless to say my Mom ended up being a liaison to the Atlantean nation for obvious reasons. She met this rich guy and…”

    “I think I can guess the rest.” Todd sighed, “Why didn’t she take you guys with her? Did you want to stay with Claudius?”

    “More like she didn’t want us,” Althea snapped, “I heard her say that.”

    “But she must have loved you or something?” Todd replied.

    “I thought she did too,” Althea coldly replied, “I guess she loved her new life more.”

    “Maybe your mom had problems or something?” Todd gently offered, “Maybe it wasn’t because of that. Maybe it was something she couldn’t handle…”

    “She couldn’t handle being the mom of freaks!” Althea snapped, fighting back tears, “And she was a mutant too! Logically it should’ve been my dad that should’ve dumped us! But then again logic’s never been his strong suit.”

    “At least your father loves you,” Todd replied, “That’s more than my dad ever did. My dad didn’t want me either.”

    “I guess we both know what it feels like to be dumped, huh?” Althea replied.

    “Yeah,” Todd sighed, “But at least you ain’t alone. You got your brothers and sisters to keep you company.”

    “Some company,” Althea groaned.

    “But you love them, right? They make you feel less alone, and it makes you feel good bossing them around and stuff. Makes you feel important and not totally helpless.” Todd replied.

    Althea regarded Todd and asked, “When did you get this insightful?”

    Todd shrugged his shoulders and said, “I dunno, I just get to thinking why people do what they do. I mean you and your dad yell at each other, but you don’t have any hate or malice in your tone. Believe me, I know that tone. You guys are so comfortable expressing yourselves. You don’t hold nothin’ back. You ain’t afraid of him and he ain’t afraid of you. That’s how it should be between a parent and his kid. You guys really love each other.”

    With a sigh Althea replied, “You’re the first person I feel I can talk about this with. I dunno, I’m just so comfortable with you, like I can tell you anything. Ever meet someone like that?”

    “Yeah.” Todd replied, before looking at Althea, “I do.”

    “I really don’t feel like talking about this anymore.” Althea replied.

    “Okay so tell me something else,” Todd said cheerfully, “Like about that spaceship I’m not supposed to know about.”

    “Well...that’s classified,” Althea said with a smirk.

    “Then how come you know about it?” Todd replied.

    Althea maintained her smirk.

    “Aw come on! It ain’t like I’m gonna take joyride in it or anything!” Todd replied.

    “Couldn’t even if you wanted to,” Althea replied, “Can’t fly anymore. Let’s just say one of the geniuses on base accidentally broke it. Maybe someday I’ll tell you more about it.”

    “Why does everyone around here know all the good stuff except me?” Todd asked with a pout and folding his arms.

    “You haven’t been here that long.” Althea replied.

    “Hey kid,” Shipwreck said, poking his head into the room, “Roadblock’s here.”

    “Well, there’s my ride.” Todd replied, “I hope he’s not still mad at me.”

    “No, just concerned about you.” Roadblock replied as he walked into the room, “I heard you had an interesting time here.”

    “That’s one way of putting it,” Althea quipped, before turning to Todd, “I’m sorry how my insane sisters treated you.”

    The foursome walked out of Althea’s room, and down the stairs to the front room. The triplets were still cleaning up and Claudius was in his playpen, licking whipped cream off his flippers.

    “Well Roadblock and I have been talking,” Shipwreck began, “We decided tomorrow you don’t have to work in the cafeteria.”

    Shipwreck the pointed to the triplets, “You three will take his place.”

    “That’s child labor!” Quinn snapped.

    Althea and Todd gave evil laughs and Quinn glared at them.

    “Well maybe from now on when I tell you to be nice to guests you’ll actually be nice to guests.” Shipwreck replied.

    “Todd, what do you we say to Shipwreck?” Roadblock prompted.

    “Oh! Thank you very much for having me over at the house,” Todd replied.

    “Well it was nice having you here,” Shipwreck replied.

    “Can I come back sometime?” Todd asked.

    “Are you serious?” Althea said, eyes widening.

    “Come on down any time, Swabbie.” Shipwreck replied, “Say goodbye to Todd everybody!”

    “Bye Todd,” the triplets said as Roadblock and Todd headed for the front door followed by Conrad and Kate.

    “See ya tomorrow,” Althea replied, “We’ve got swimming practice! Remember?”

    “I remember,” Todd replied, “Bye!”

    “Bye bye!” Claudius giggled.

    “So did you two have fun in your room?” Quinn snickered.

    “Shut up plankton brain,” Althea snapped, “We didn’t do anything!”

    “Don’t bother your sister,” Shipwreck replied, “Besides, we all know Althea isn’t like that. When you three get to be her age, then I’ll worry.”

    Shipwreck turned to Althea, “So he actually sounded like he had a good time today.”

    “Well he didn’t run off screaming so I guess it went well,” Althea replied as she plopped down onto the couch, “He even wants to come back.”

    “So you like him, huh?” Shipwreck smirked.

    “He’s kinda weird, but he’s all right,” Althea replied, “But okay. As a friend. Nothing more. It’s not like I’m attracted to him in any way.”

    “Today I met the cutest boy,” Daria read from a purple book, “His name is Todd Tolansky. He has these adorable yellowish eyes that are so wide and expressive! I’m so glad he’s a mutant like me! I hope we get to hang out more!”

    Where did you get that?” Althea paled, “She’s making it up!”

    “Someone’s got a crush.” Quinn teased.

    “I do not!” Althea snapped.

    “I had the best dream last night,” Daria continued reading from the book, “I dreamed Todd and I were getting married and…”

    “DARIA YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!” Althea screamed and started chasing her laughing sister around the living room.

    Shipwreck doubled over, gripping his sides and laughing, “Oh yeah. This kid will fit into our family alright.”

    “DADDY!” Althea screamed.

    The resulting whipped cream fight meant any cleaning on the part of the triplets was quickly rendered moot.

    ---
     
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  13. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    The Pit, Officer’s Quarters
    Conrad Hart and Caitlin Todd
    19 February 2002, 1755


    Kate stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt and drying her hair with a towel.

    “What a day…” Kate replied.

    Conrad chuckled, from the kitchen table as he was typing away on his laptop, “Certainly was one interesting family.”

    “More like a demented Addams family.” Kate quipped as she sat down across from Conrad at the table.

    “You have to admit the whipped cream fight was entertaining.” Conrad replied with a grin.

    “Something tells me leaving that out of my report might be the best thing.” Kate replied, flicking a strand of her still somewhat wet hair from off her forehead.

    “Not exactly easy to sanitize a whipped cream fight…” Conrad began.

    “More like whipped cream and slime fight, remember?” Kate replied.

    “Vividly.” Conrad replied, "In either case I think that while the Delgados are nuts they're good for Todd to be around."

    "Nuts is putting it mildly." Kate replied, "Shipwreck is just insane with a capital I."

    "Well this is true, but you can tell he loves those kids like nothing else." Conrad replied, "And the family holds nothing back from each other."

    "They're practically psychotic...but it's not a bad thing." Kate replied.

    "As I recall someone's three older brothers were practically psychotic as well." Conrad quipped.

    Kate laughed lightly, "Well yes, but I think the triplets could give them a run for their money."

    "I'll trust the expert on her own brothers on that one." Conrad quipped.

    "Very funny." Kate replied.

    "Hey, I didn't have practically insane older siblings." Conrad countered.

    "Because you probably were the 'practically insane older sibling'?" Kate offered.

    "I'll neither confirm nor deny that." Conrad replied with a toothy grin.

    "You're weird, you know that?" Kate replied.

    "I prefer enigmatic." Conrad countered.

    Kate shook her head, "I think the words weird, eccentric, and downright strange are more accurate."

    "I do trust a lawyer to be able to argue semantics." Conrad began, indicating the law school emblem on Kate's t-shirt, just above her right breast.

    "I'm not a lawyer," Kate replied, "I attended a year of law school that felt like ten years in prison."

    "So what prompted the career change from student lawyer to Secret Service Agent?" Conrad asked.

    "Strapping on a gun and actually preventing problems instead of arguing over their aftermath in court." Kate replied, "Maybe like the mysterious reason for your chosing to join the French Foreign Legion."

    Conrad replied, "It's a rather long story, honestly. And probably about as exciting as your first year of law school."

    I'm not totally sure I buy that. Kate thought to herself, then noticed a small notice on her computer screen. An email from Tim.

    ---

    Kate,

    I hope everything is going well over there. I'm honestly praying for you, especially knowing you're heading to Shipwreck's house.

    I miss you. Trading little glances across the office. Talking to each other at work before we sneak off and find one of our little 'spots' to actually be affectionate with each other. Or even getting to go to Mass together when our schedules allow.

    I can't wait till I'm off this Presidential Detail and we can be a lot more free about our relationship.

    - Tim


    ---

    To Be Continued...
     
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  14. Julie Justice

    Julie Justice Agent

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    Hello Nace.

    I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to read these last 2 installments until now. I loved the budding romance between Althea and Todd. I also like the interactions between Conrad and Kate, and the little bits of romance that we see in the e-mails between Kate and Tim. And there is a lot of humor, too, which is also good. But what happened to the poor parrot, Polly? LOL. :)
     
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  15. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    @Julie Justice, glad you like the story thus far. I am eternally grateful to Red Witch, the fanfiction.net author that first thought to crossover GI Joe and X-men Evolution and inspired a veritable subculture of us on the site.

    On that site itself the original author of Ronin Toad quite liked my take on her original tale.

    Given in the NCIS series Tim and Kate's relationship wasn't really that well covered I thought I'd fill in the blanks up to the pilot of the series.

    The Kate and Conrad interactions are the most fun to write, especially how they seem to be opposites in several ways but alike in others.
     
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  16. Julie Justice

    Julie Justice Agent

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    I agree. :)
     
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  17. Invader

    Invader Writer

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    This has been most entertaining to read, and gives me something wonderful to look forward to.
     
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  18. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    I'm putting the finishing touches on a new chapter that should be out tonight or tomorrow.
     
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  19. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    We Belong to the Sea, Part One​

    Disclaimer: Same as before

    ---

    The Pit, Seaside Annex
    Todd, Althea, Shipwreck, Conrad and Kate
    20 February 2002, 0744


    “So what’s going on today?” Kate asked as she, Conrad and Shipwreck stood on the shore in a small protected cove that was part of the Pit’s seaside annex.

    “Well, Althea and Todd are getting lessons in underwater attacks from Wetsuit, one of the SEALs here at the Pit.” Shipwreck replied, “And you two I thought would appreciate some training in CQB on a ship.”

    "CQB?" Todd asked after he came out of the small bathroom/locker room that was nearby.

    "Close Quarter Battle." Conrad supplied, "Basically combat at very short ranges, used in urban warfare and the like."

    “Usually shooting inside buildings, but in this case just firing inside a ship.” Kate replied.

    Althea walked out of the ladies room just then, wearing a one piece blue and black bathing suit. Addressing Shipwreck she said, “Now please try not to cause any trouble today.”

    “I’ll be good if you’ll be good.” Shipwreck replied.

    "And how are you, Monsieur Todd?" Conrad asked.

    "I've never swum in the ocean before," Todd began, tugging down on the sleeveless white t-shirt he was wearing, making sure that they covered the waistband of his orange swimming shorts.

    "Really?" Shipwreck startled, "Why, swabbie, there's nothing like it! Once the smell of the sea gets in your blood, nothing can get it out. Isn't that right Wet Suit?"

    Walking up to them was a muscular fellow wearing a blue wetsuit, the sleeves of the half unzipped suit tied around his waist. He wore a blue and gold t-shirt bearing the US Navy SEAL Trident.

    "Nothing like it.” Wet Suit said in agreement.

    “Yeah, until you can find another job you can be lazy at.” Beach Head grumbled as he walked by, in company with a fellow with slicked back red hair and a trim red beard and wearing a dark blue t-shirt and similar colored cargo pants. A holstered pistol hung in a holster strapped to his right thigh.

    “Hey!” Shipwreck protested, “In my day I was the hardest working sailor to sail the Seven Seas!”

    “You’re nothing but a desk jockey now!” Beach Head snapped, “You gave up a life of action to lounge around on a desk all day!”

    Kate noticed that the red haired fellow stood just on the outskirts of the conversation. Commissioned officer, most definitely. Likely has some sort of law enforcement experience. I recognize that ‘field interview’ stance anywhere. Kate thought.

    “You know why I did,” Shipwreck said with a dark look, “At least I didn’t do it to further my career!”

    Todd and Althea gave each other knowing looks, and Kate noticed that in her peripheral vision. Kate also noticed Conrad had a clear line of sight to this as well.

    Merde. Conrad thought as he noticed Althea had a dark scowl on her face. She looks like she’s about to kill Beach Head.

    All of a sudden Althea’s eyes sported a wicked gleam and an equally wicked smile.

    Kate felt alarm bells going off in her head. This isn’t good. With her ninja skills…

    She unscrewed the lid off a water bottle and then the water came out in a column, forming itself into a ball. Todd looked like he was going to say something and then Althea put her index finger to her lips.

    The small sphere of water flew through the air and drenched Beach Head from behind who turned around to glare at Althea.

    “I knew you did that you little…” Beach Head began.

    “Hey Beach Head,” Wet Suit called, “Is that your jeep?”

    “What?” Beach Head replied, turning around to see his jeep being driven away by Tunnel Rat and Big Lob who were laughing loudly.

    “HEY STOP! STOP! GET BACK HERE YOU MANIACS!” Beach Head shouted as he chased the vehicle.

    “How did you do that?” Todd asked Althea.

    “I dunno,” Althea replied, “I just do. I can manipulate water around me. Of course I can’t just create a tidal wave out of nowhere, but when there’s water around I can do anything with it. Create waves, make currents, that sort of stuff…”

    “Cool.” Todd replied.

    “Well, be good kids.” Shipwreck began, “And don’t stray too far. Okay?”

    “Bye Dad!” Althea waved as Shipwreck, Conrad, Kate and the red haired man headed off.

    As they walked towards the ship that was moored by the pier the red haired man introduced himself.

    “Sorry I hadn’t introduced myself,” the man spoke, “Lieutenant Colonel David Lane, or Surefire for my codename. I’m an MP by trade.”

    “Kate Todd, Secret Service.” Kate began, shaking the man’s hand.

    “Conrad Hart, ACME.” Conrad replied.

    “Well, I figured while the kids get some training in water attacks you’d appreciate a chance to shoot a few rounds.” Surefire said, with a grin.

    “Lay on Macduff.” Conrad begun.

    “Shakespeare. Very nice.” Surefire began, “They teach you the Bard’s work in the French Foreign Legion?”

    “No, mon commandant.” Conrad replied as they walked up the gangplank into the ship.

    ---
     
  20. Nace Bilby

    Nace Bilby Agent

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    The Pit, Training Ship
    Conrad, Kate, Shipwreck, Surefire
    20 February 2002, 0811


    “I tend to favor the grenade and the sub-machinegun (SMG) or personal defense weapon (PDW).” Conrad began.

    “You don’t want to start lobbing grenades on a ship. You’ve got no idea if you might damage a fuel line, start a fire, or make a hole in the hull which could really ruin your day below the waterline.” Shipwreck began as he checked one of his two Desert Eagles.

    “Compensating for something?” Kate quipped as she noticed Shipwreck’s two Desert Eagles that he was loading into holsters strapped to each thigh.

    “No kill like overkill.” Shipwreck said, with a smirk.

    “Personally automatics are the way to go.” Conrad replied as he hefted an AMD-65, a short barreled and compact AK-47 variant manufactured by the Hungarians.

    “But no grenades for you.” Kate commented, as she checked her own Sig.

    “Not interested in grabbing anything else from the armory?” Surefire replied.

    “No thanks,” Kate replied, “My issued Sig works well enough. You boys can go on about all your guns.”

    “Alrighty then, you’re in the lead.” Surefire said, “Stack up on that hatch over there.”

    Surefire indicated a door that would lead further up to the bridge of the ship with his free hand, holding a cut down M4 carbine. Kate was in the lead, Shipwreck behind her and Conrad behind Shipwreck.

    Surefire swung open the door and Kate went up the ladder well to the bridge of the ship. As she got a little over a third of the way up the stairs a pop up target sprang into being. Kate saw the figure of a man in a hoodie with a pistol in hand and accordingly fired several shots that clustered around the man's chest and neck. The target retracted.

    Coming up into the bridge Kate turned right and Shipwreck turned left. Another target, this one a hostage with a terrorist wearing a ski mask holding her. Shipwreck let fly with two rounds from his Desert Eagles, putting two rounds into the forehead and nose of his target. Kate managed to gun down a second target with a knife.

    Conrad and Surefire came into the room just then, Kate moved deeper, staying along the wall as Conrad entered. He sighted another target, this one a terrorist with a pistol wearing a ski mask. Conrad fired the AMD-65 in two short controlled bursts, ripping holes in the chest and head of his target. Surefire charged onto the ship's bridge, seeing a fourth target, this one unarmed so he didn't fire, but the one to the left and behind it was. He fired several rounds into the target.

    "Clear and safe all weapons." Surefire shouted.

    The foursome removed magazines from their weapons before taking out any chambered rounds.

    "Good shooting." Surefire said, "A bit of a looser pattern of hits for you on that second target, Kate. Don't rush."

    "I literally just saw him when I got into the room." Kate replied, "I couldn't see if he was a hostile or not until I got around the ship's steering console."

    "Hart, not bad marksmanship either, but try to avoid overkill. Sounded like you emptied nearly half a magazine into the guy." Surefire said, "This isn't the French Foreign Legion. In law enforcement operations you have to account for every round fired, rapid single shots are better and they conserve ammo."

    "If he's hopped up on something it's best to sort him with a longer burst." Conrad countered, "However I see your point in a law enforcement context."

    "Shipwreck, nice shot with the dual Desert Eagles." Surefire began, "But your margin of error is really low with the .50 Action Express rounds. You miss, you'll really mess up the hostage."

    "It's a good thing I know how to shoot them then." Shipwreck replied.

    "Up here," Conrad said, "I think I could justify throwing grenades into the room."

    "With hostages present?" Kate replied, appalled.

    "Or at the very least flashbangs." Conrad countered.

    "I agree with you on that." Kate replied.

    "Plus with some models of flash bangs one can stick them in a frag sleeve." Conrad replied.

    "Why did I just know you were going to say that?" Kate replied, "This isn't the French Foreign Legion."

    "And there's also the matter of explosive breaching of watertight hatches. If done correctly they won't damage parts of the ship." Conrad replied.

    "You're awfully confident in your knowledge of explosives." Kate observed.

    "It's what I did when I was in the Legion, mining, demining, explosive breaching, and demolitions." Conrad replied.

    "Alright, lets regroup and have a go at other sections of the ship. Hart, you're on point." Surefire replied, "Show us how you do room clearing in the Legion."

    "Oui mon commandant." Conrad replied.

    ---
     

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